[why. okay. he will...head out that way, looping around the back of the dorm to see where luku is? also god he should have thought about this, fuck, what if this is luke instead? regardless, he will look!]
[he will approach, but he does grab his free hand when he gets close enough to swing it back and forth a few times before sitting on the grass with him. he's gonna be nosy and look at the photograph, too.]
It came back this morning. It's still a little blurry sometimes but I think that's just because I have to get used to focusing again.
[He accepts the swing and helps Taichi sit even though vision is apparently back. It's fine. He does notice the nosiness, though. After a moment, he holds it out for Taichi to take.
It's a picture like the one in his room of Fall Dorm posing with the Claudeboard cutout. On the back, though, is:
This was going to be sad, but I changed my mind. You were right when you said I was just trying to run away. I'm hoping that this photo won't have to go to you anytime soon, but I know how much regrets hurt.
Riku. I hope you continue to remember. And I hope you see Sora and Kairi again. This is so funny. Even if I get murdered, I'll still probably be okay, right? Anyway, I'll see you one way or another. But in case, I don't... I want you to know.
I went on a date with Kuon while pretending to be you. It was hilarious.
[He takes two more photos out of his pocket and hands them to Taichi. One is a picture of Taichi will cherry blossoms in his hair. On the back is:
I still stand by what I said, you know. You're definitely smart, and I'm pretty confident that you'll figure it out. This place, and whatever's motivating our group of killers. Maybe even my murder too (even though I'm not actually dead, but you know what I mean).
I talk a lot about how Kuon and I are the only adults, but I think it's obvious that we all rely on you. You know, I wouldn't know half as much as this place if you didn't always get us all on the same page. I'll do my part too. For our dorm. And for everyone here. I won't go on, because I'm definitely not dead.
See you soon, Manwol
The other is a picture of Manwol and Yamato cooking curry. On the back is:
Don't be angry. We both know I'm not actually dead, so you can't be mad!
But just in case -- I wanted to write this to tell you that I thought you were so funny. You're normally the type of human I always want to scare. And I really did want to scare you a lot, but then I stopped wanting to, I guess. I didn't really like the idea of having to see you be afraid. Which usually never happens to me.
It might be because I like seeing you being brave more. And you have been, Yamato. You've done so much. You endured my company, and you let me tag along and try to take care of you. Though I guess you've done more for me than I have you. I'm going to stop this letter here because it's too embarrassing. I'll say the rest to you in person, once I get out of daycare with the others.
See you soon, Manwol]
Give the other one to Yamato for me. For... Manwol.
[i'm gonna kill yaywon actually. this also immediately makes him stop grinning because he's reading his letter first, and then yamato's because he's nosy, and then just...sighs.]
...sure thing. Of course. [...] I have to ask you this, do you know what she's actually talking about in these?
[if you're not riku right now i swear to god i will burn down the dorm.]
I'm not even sure if I was worried Thursday because everything was such a mess, but I was definitely a little worried today. [he'll outright say that, at least.] I'm really starting to hate that this keeps happening to you guys.
[...]
Why're you out here anyway? [behind the dorm specifically.]
I don't know... I was getting some air. I thought I wanted to be by myself for a while, but... then I changed my mind when you texted me.
[Maybe being emo alone isn't so great. Past experiences.]
How'd you manage to sneak away from Yamato? I think... we stressed him out a lot the past few days. Maybe he should be the one sitting back here in the dark.
[it's not! he also is aware that it's not so great. but that does get a grin out of him.]
Well I'm honored or whatever. [but there's a hum at that question.] I...have definitely stressed him out, and he's stressing himself out even more trying not to tell me he's stressed out. So I'm giving him a little breathing room before I head to our room to find him.
Then again I don't think he'd say no to sitting out here, too.
[...he pulls out a handful of grass and throws it in riku's face.]
Shut upppp. This time it's not about babysitting, that was Tuesday. This is about you being my friend and me being a complete disaster this week and wanting to talk to you when we were both ourselves. What's wrong with that?
[WAH. He makes an almost sputter noise as he half turns away from the shower of grass. Somehow, he is not mature enough in the face of Sora energy not to grab some grass to toss right back at Taichi.]
[sorry, he's busy snickering even as he ends up with a face full of grass himself. it dies down to something more content, at least.]
I am, too. Today...was a bad today. But so was yesterday and tomorrow's probably not gonna be much better either. But I always want to make time to do stuff like hang out with my friends and just take a breather even if it's just for five minutes.
Mm. Yamato used to get mad at me when we were kids because I wouldn't always give us time to stop and breathe before trying to run off to do the next thing. I believe the words he used a few days ago were "you were infuriating and I thought you were an insensitive jerk."
But now that we're older...it's important to take a step back and regroup even if you don't feel like you have to. Otherwise you're going to burn out. If you keep running and fighting, the fights just get harder to bounce back from. Maybe that's why it's been so important to me that we have things like parties and dumb stargazing nights and dorm bonding stuff. Without the support of other people and without those friends, what're you even fighting for?
[He makes a soft sort of amused snort with his nose. But he listens!
For once, he doesn't think he's hearing Sora exactly.]
You do.
[He isn't listening to himself either, though. Or... well... he wasn't hearing Sora or himself before.]
I think Kairi would be the one trying to give us this advice. Sora and I... we were so caught up in trying to be better than each other that we... wouldn't ever quit. I'd push forward, and he'd try to keep up, and then I wouldn't stop when he got ahead.
But maybe we started to realize that when we were sitting on the shore. I spent a long time... being angry, and jealous, and alone without stopping. And now... I kind of miss a lot of the days we'd have spent just bring together on the island.
[there's a nod of understanding as he listens to that, and he thinks a little about yamato and how they were as kids and how things have changed.]
Yamato and I have always been the ones to push each other when the other was stuck and didn't move forward. It wasn't necessarily competitive like you and Sora, but we both had our own ways of seeing and doing things and would move ahead whether the other person liked it or not.
...you should tell him that when you see him again if you haven't. Kind of like we should all spend more time together in the next couple of days before things change again. While we still have time.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 6, sat
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Dude?
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He glances up.]
Hey. Can you see yet...?
[He holds his free hand out in case.]
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It came back this morning. It's still a little blurry sometimes but I think that's just because I have to get used to focusing again.
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[He accepts the swing and helps Taichi sit even though vision is apparently back. It's fine. He does notice the nosiness, though. After a moment, he holds it out for Taichi to take.
It's a picture like the one in his room of Fall Dorm posing with the Claudeboard cutout. On the back, though, is:
This was going to be sad, but I changed my mind. You were right when you said I was just trying to run away. I'm hoping that this photo won't have to go to you anytime soon, but I know how much regrets hurt.
Riku. I hope you continue to remember. And I hope you see Sora and Kairi again. This is so funny. Even if I get murdered, I'll still probably be okay, right? Anyway, I'll see you one way or another. But in case, I don't... I want you to know.
I went on a date with Kuon while pretending to be you. It was hilarious.
See you soon,
Manwol]
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...why doesn't this surprise me in the slightest?
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[He takes two more photos out of his pocket and hands them to Taichi. One is a picture of Taichi will cherry blossoms in his hair. On the back is:
I still stand by what I said, you know. You're definitely smart, and I'm pretty confident that you'll figure it out. This place, and whatever's motivating our group of killers. Maybe even my murder too (even though I'm not actually dead, but you know what I mean).
I talk a lot about how Kuon and I are the only adults, but I think it's obvious that we all rely on you. You know, I wouldn't know half as much as this place if you didn't always get us all on the same page. I'll do my part too. For our dorm. And for everyone here. I won't go on, because I'm definitely not dead.
See you soon,
Manwol
The other is a picture of Manwol and Yamato cooking curry. On the back is:
Don't be angry. We both know I'm not actually dead, so you can't be mad!
But just in case -- I wanted to write this to tell you that I thought you were so funny. You're normally the type of human I always want to scare. And I really did want to scare you a lot, but then I stopped wanting to, I guess. I didn't really like the idea of having to see you be afraid. Which usually never happens to me.
It might be because I like seeing you being brave more. And you have been, Yamato. You've done so much. You endured my company, and you let me tag along and try to take care of you. Though I guess you've done more for me than I have you. I'm going to stop this letter here because it's too embarrassing. I'll say the rest to you in person, once I get out of daycare with the others.
See you soon,
Manwol]
Give the other one to Yamato for me. For... Manwol.
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...sure thing. Of course. [...] I have to ask you this, do you know what she's actually talking about in these?
[if you're not riku right now i swear to god i will burn down the dorm.]
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It's okay. It's me. Riku.
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We already had to bring Hugo back today. I was really hoping you were you. [...wait, fuck.] Are you okay? After...all of this.
[our manwol is dead.....]
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That's what Annie said. I've been me all day so far. [...] I'll be okay.
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You were Luke on Thursday. I do remember that much, even if it didn't seem that weird to me at the time.
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[He's even too tired to sound like he's trying to make a joke.]
Sorry if I worried you. I might have been Luke yesterday, but if I was, I don't remember. [A pause.] I'm glad you're yourself again, too.
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[...]
Why're you out here anyway? [behind the dorm specifically.]
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[Maybe being emo alone isn't so great. Past experiences.]
How'd you manage to sneak away from Yamato? I think... we stressed him out a lot the past few days. Maybe he should be the one sitting back here in the dark.
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Well I'm honored or whatever. [but there's a hum at that question.] I...have definitely stressed him out, and he's stressing himself out even more trying not to tell me he's stressed out. So I'm giving him a little breathing room before I head to our room to find him.
Then again I don't think he'd say no to sitting out here, too.
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...I don't mind. Unless you needed to talk to me about something. I guess you were checking on me, huh? Not that I blame you.
[After being Luke-ified all the time. After Manwol and Maya.]
If you two want time alone, that's fine. You don't have to babysit me. I'll be okay.
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Shut upppp. This time it's not about babysitting, that was Tuesday. This is about you being my friend and me being a complete disaster this week and wanting to talk to you when we were both ourselves. What's wrong with that?
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Sap. [...] I'm glad we can.
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I am, too. Today...was a bad today. But so was yesterday and tomorrow's probably not gonna be much better either. But I always want to make time to do stuff like hang out with my friends and just take a breather even if it's just for five minutes.
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He peers up at the sky.]
It feels... wrong to try to enjoy not being strung out by what's going on. But... I think sometimes you have to, or you won't make it any other way.
Even five minutes. Even two. Just long enough to feel like your feet are on the ground.
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Mm. Yamato used to get mad at me when we were kids because I wouldn't always give us time to stop and breathe before trying to run off to do the next thing. I believe the words he used a few days ago were "you were infuriating and I thought you were an insensitive jerk."
But now that we're older...it's important to take a step back and regroup even if you don't feel like you have to. Otherwise you're going to burn out. If you keep running and fighting, the fights just get harder to bounce back from. Maybe that's why it's been so important to me that we have things like parties and dumb stargazing nights and dorm bonding stuff. Without the support of other people and without those friends, what're you even fighting for?
You need both.
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For once, he doesn't think he's hearing Sora exactly.]
You do.
[He isn't listening to himself either, though. Or... well... he wasn't hearing Sora or himself before.]
I think Kairi would be the one trying to give us this advice. Sora and I... we were so caught up in trying to be better than each other that we... wouldn't ever quit. I'd push forward, and he'd try to keep up, and then I wouldn't stop when he got ahead.
But maybe we started to realize that when we were sitting on the shore. I spent a long time... being angry, and jealous, and alone without stopping. And now... I kind of miss a lot of the days we'd have spent just bring together on the island.
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Yamato and I have always been the ones to push each other when the other was stuck and didn't move forward. It wasn't necessarily competitive like you and Sora, but we both had our own ways of seeing and doing things and would move ahead whether the other person liked it or not.
...you should tell him that when you see him again if you haven't. Kind of like we should all spend more time together in the next couple of days before things change again. While we still have time.
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I guess even if we're stuck forever in oblivion for some reason, it still wouldn't hurt to tell him.
[Or would that make it worse...? I've never been great at that kind of stuff anyway.]
Tomorrow then. We'll... see what happens, and then... even if it's just sitting together in silence, we should spend time with each other.
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