[OH NOOOO. . . that was far shorter than Catra had hoped for, and it shows in her expression, in the way it twists into frustration as she leans over the table]
-- Viola?
[her ears flatten]
No, it. . . it worked.
It worked like a charm, but only for about ten seconds.
[it's not touch week, so Catra does flinch a little bit at that contact, surprised by her own reaction. it takes a few deep breaths, but she relaxes moments afterwards, allowing Viola to keep her hand there for as long as she'd like]
I get it.
[and she does. possibly more than Viola knows]
It's impossible to really accept, when someone is telling you that everything you know is a lie.
[. . .]
It's not. . . I mean. You're not the only. . . one, though. To-- you know.
[and another breath. she's going to keep pushing herself, even if the wounds are still fresh. even if it's still hard]
So, like-- before Adora and I came here, I was. . . part of an alien army, I guess. I fought with the Horde to take over the planet, and somehow got beamed up onto the space ship of the big head honcho in charge.
[. . .]
He had the power to chip people. To put microchips in their necks and control their minds. They'd. . . uh. You know. . . they wouldn't be themselves.
It was like. . . having a piece of him inserted into their brains.
[ah.... viola listens and - she hears the way that it's all spoken in third person. it must be such a raw wound. her brow furrows, frustrated over something that she had no control over, but something that clearly hurt catra deeply.]
.... they didn't deserve that. They never should've had to endure something so cruel.
[she isn't the type to dismiss an option out of hand just for pride, but also. . . her lack of trust is definitely playing a part in her hesitancy, here]
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Viola's expression turns confused, wondering.]
Oh...
Did it not work, Catra?
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-- Viola?
[her ears flatten]
No, it. . . it worked.
It worked like a charm, but only for about ten seconds.
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What did I forget? I hope I didn't tell you some kind of embarrassing childhood memory.
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[okay Catra can't help it. she laughs a little, but it's a bit humorless]
Don't worry, you're safe from childhood memories.
But you forgot that your name-- your real name-- is Iris.
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[her brow furrows, a little put out. she recognizes how serious catra seems to be feeling about it but....]
That's not the name I was raised with... How could it be Iris...?
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[fidgets a little bit in her seat, gaze flicking up to meet Viola's]
So. . . you'd trust me when I say something at this school messed with your memories, right? We don't know what it is, or how to stop it, but. . .
[she trails off]
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Of course I trust you. It's not about how much I trust you.
[ . . . . she just sighs.]
It's just... hard to wrap my head around... How could my memories be wrong? I have 22 years worth of them...
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I get it.
[and she does. possibly more than Viola knows]
It's impossible to really accept, when someone is telling you that everything you know is a lie.
[. . .]
It's not. . . I mean. You're not the only. . . one, though. To-- you know.
Have someone mess with your head.
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... did something happen...?
[to you?
she sounds distinctly unhappy - her tone taking a more protective quality to it]
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[. . .]
Don't-- like, don't tell anyone, okay? I doubt I need to really ask you that, but. . .
[it is clearly a very sensitive memory for her]
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I'd never.
.... thank you for trusting me with that.
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[another pause]
[and another breath. she's going to keep pushing herself, even if the wounds are still fresh. even if it's still hard]
So, like-- before Adora and I came here, I was. . . part of an alien army, I guess. I fought with the Horde to take over the planet, and somehow got beamed up onto the space ship of the big head honcho in charge.
[. . .]
He had the power to chip people. To put microchips in their necks and control their minds. They'd. . . uh. You know. . . they wouldn't be themselves.
It was like. . . having a piece of him inserted into their brains.
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.... they didn't deserve that. They never should've had to endure something so cruel.
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. . . yeah. It was awful.
The worst part is-- he's chipped so many people on Etheria.
I don't know what we're going to do about that when we get. . . home.
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... I know you need to go home. But there is the degree if you choose to stay long enough to graduate - to grant a single wish.
If it is not something that you know how to do with your own two hands right away.... you could always use that as a resource available to you.
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[her answer is immediate, because. yes, she's absolutely thought about it]
But I don't yet know how much I can trust some. . . nebulous "wish."
[a pause. she looks away]
And-- part of this is my fault, anyway. So I need to fix it on my own.
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Well, I can't say I don't understand that. I would prefer to build things with my own two hands, too.
[ . . . ]
But consider it an option. A resource you can take advantage of, should the opportunity arise.
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[she isn't the type to dismiss an option out of hand just for pride, but also. . . her lack of trust is definitely playing a part in her hesitancy, here]
We'll see.