... I would understand if you all did - given the track record that Winter has had. [two convicted murderers]
If only to test the hypothesis, if there is something about Winter itself that compels people to take the lives of others - though I don't know if you'll be safer elsewhere.
[ . . . she looks away, as if to obscure her expression]
okay, it's more of a tap to the top of her head with the back of his knuckles than it is a bonk, but he's going to drag her back out or so help him. this is his role to play in the dynamics of the dorm - the one that reminds the heroes of what they're supposed to be doing. (kon guesses that those peptalks for and scoldings from toki paid off, somehow.) ]
Rupert clearly didn't want to do it, and Kaoruko told enough people that we should play along, be less confrontational, because of a role she was playing. Simply because there was the commonality of them being from the same dorm doesn't mean that you're cursed, or that there might be some forces at play that mean Winter has a reputation for murder.
Everyone in Winter is so efficient and creative, [ he'll step around her in case she tries to properly look away from him. ] And we're using that to figure out how to catch the people being forced to kill against their will.
Fuck the reputation you're afraid of. [ because crow told him. ] We'll prove it wrong. As your dorm - you're stuck with us.
her gaze turns a little sharp at that - not in response to the bonk, but rather in response to an accusation that doesn't land quite right. not when crow suggested it, and not now.]
It is not about reputation. It is about a malevolent force asking people to act, and we don't know the exact motivation - but we know thus far that it has struck Winter twice. Don't you want to be in control of your own actions? Don't you want to avoid being asked to hurt others?
I don't care about my reputation - I have none left to lose. I only have all of you.
But you are all so willing to be commonly regarded as murderers without realizing just how dangerous that could prove to be. You should look after yourselves more than you care for loyalty to me - associations like that matter little if I lose you anyway.
[ there's a part of him that wants to ask her don't you? or snap back with you know what happened, but he pulls it back. ]
So, what, leave to another dorm? Where people have been controlled every expulsion? Where another murderer could very well be lying in wait, having gotten away with killing Sieghart? Where another murderer is born, at the whims of the powers behind all this?
And the force here definitely didn't decide to play favorites on who it took, either, considering it wasn't just Winter residents who had their control taken from them. My group, the other group, even the ones who went into Ichiro's Japan - people were still hurt, still killed. People still died, and we were the cause of that, no matter whether the blood was fresh on our hands or not.
Despite everything, it was as real as all this. But we got through it by not being alone, and working together to survive.
So it's not just loyalty to you, and it's not, at its core, just the loyalty to the dorm in concept - that first week, I couldn't have cared less, when I didn't trust you or any of the other heads. But we all banded together, anyways, because we're stuck here together. We're all angry together.
It's loyalty to each other, because we're weathering the storm in the same shelter, looking for the same answers, using our skills to try and figure out what the hell is going on. Because you said it yourself, that we're a lot more similar than we give each other credit for. Those ideals, those goals, that anger... So you're stuck with us, because why would we go anywhere else, and because like recognizes like.
Just like us, every action you make says I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore.
[she's still irritated, letting it flash obviously on her face for a moment - but even then it stems out of a protectiveness. a sense of "if we can remove the idea of a pattern where winter harbors killers, I wouldn't suggest it, but until then" - ]
You seem obviously fond of flipping your arguments based on convenience, Kon.
I clearly can't make any of you leave.
But I refuse to have it suggested that all I care about is reputation when all theories ought to be considered and tested. You are all my priority, and that includes keeping all of your hands as clean as I can. Even just a week away to see if something about Winter itself compels killers would've been enough.
As long as you all have a home in each other - that's all I could've wanted. That's all.
[ he reaches up to scrub his face, sighing, and - ]
I don't - want to argue with you. [ he's been trying to do so much less of that, here. a truce with tsuyukusa, trying to keep his temper in check, trying to just get through this. it covers up all of the other problems underneath that. if he can compartmentalize and survive to the end of this, then it's fine. ]
And I don't want you to think it's for convenience, when it's duality. Nothing has been so simple, let alone in a situation like this, where the shades of grey that've been dumped in have muddled everything in the first place. I just want you to understand the kind of people you've accumulated in your dorm, and how they just are. Each person has their own place, and so many of the types you've got are different in temperament, in personality, in experience.
I just don't see my place in it the same way as you must - whether you've realized it or not, you've landed quite a few heroes in your dorm. So they're not going to take this kind of suggestion well, you know that, right? They're pretty insistent on the rely on me thing, to the point that I hear it multiple times a week.
And I'm not used to that, Viola. I'm not used to having a home in anyone. I'm not used to relying on people anymore.
So I want to prove you wrong, as much as I'd apologize, if you'd consider accepting that.
... I've already said that I can't force you one way or another, and I don't wish to argue you with you either.
But I also can't say sorry. Not when I think that a home doesn't have to be a place - it can be people. If you all moved to Summer even if only temporarily, I think it would be much of the same. I simply wish you would all treasure yourselves most of all.
But if you associate Winter so strongly with home that's... Of course that's what I want - I'm just not selfish enough to not recognize that there are possible unidentified risks too.
[so she'll suggest it, because she wants to protect the people dear to her more than anything else.]
I'm not asking for you to apologize, anyways. [ he waves his hand, cutting through even the implication of that. ] I would ask if you'd give us this week, and a chance to prove there's not a cycle in place.
If there is a death that we can't prevent, and it turns out that the culprit - forced or otherwise - is from Winter, the same as Kaoruko and Rupert, I'll help you pose the suggestion.
No, there's not, but I can still put a promise in place with you.
[ and if this winds up being a ding darn murderer It Follows situation where it goes with them he'll eat his own arm ]
And I can still make preparations for if we need them. [ because he wants to do this before they both get riled up again. ] You said my memory extraction would cost 8 vouchers, 6 with a discount. How much would the power of rewriting someone be, with the intention to undo this place's attempt to control us, even temporarily?
though she tilts her head in response to that....]
Rewriting an entire person...? On par with mind control or something like that? [she pauses] ... Expensive, and I'm not even certain if I'd want to sell it.
[ i'll be the next murderer because i'll come for you dana ]
More on par with... [ kon pauses, not sure if bringing it up will help or hinder. ] Like what Catra asked you permission to do, earlier this morning.
Limitations being as they are, and my own... newfound experience with it, I doubt that anything greater than that would be possible, let alone something I'd be as comfortable with as I had been when I was able to do it to virtual reality NPCs.
[she tilts her head thoughtfully at that before shaking her head]
I would still place it at a rather expensive purchase for anything even remotely similar to the coupon use - just given the nature of it.
And since voucher exchanges are often more powerful than coupons, I would still be hesitant to sell it - even to you. Not for lack of trust but... principle.
he's not that surprised. and he doesn't necessarily seem disappointed by it, considering he wasn't optimistic. ]
No, I know it's not specifically for me - it's okay. It makes sense. That differentiation actually helps for any future transactions... well, any of us would want to do. So any voucher exchange to replicate a coupon would be, by nature, stronger than a temporary ability or item available to us through rewards. [ mostly thinking aloud so that he can tell people this later, but... ]
... I'll definitely do the memory extraction. But - Catra had her arm restored. Can an exchange... restore an injury that was incurred before arriving at Wiwaldi?
[ that's better. he's so tired this will go PERFECTLY FINE and NO WINTERS KILL ANYONE. we are ignoring the probabilities of fall and winter being targeted in this house due to their numbers. ]
... yeah, I kind of got a taste of being able to use both hands when we were on our field trip. So if I could restore it, even if I don't tell anyone outside of a few people, it would help with more things than I can count.
[ but he will! pull out his vouchers, thumbing through them so that he can pocket two and offer her six. ]
For the ability, for now. I'll come see you again about the arm, if that's okay with you, but it's all a price I'm willing to pay to do something.
[ and it's not necessarily the first time he's been willing to shell out for something, anything to be able to do something, come to think of it. ]
[she'll take the vouchers then - before pausing when the memory hits her. it's dizzying and it's painful again - but not for the reason fo a headache or mixed up lifetimes confusing her. rather, it's the pain of knowing exactly what kon chose to sacrifice in order to try to gain something else - ]
Kon...
[she looks up at him, wide-eyed, and a little angry - but she's always angry when there's some suffering imposed on the people who matter to her]
kon doesn't like this, these memories shared with others without his consent. he was made to tell the others of why he was infiltrating amatsuki, why he did everything he did - underhanded or not - and he shared it more willingly, then. people have learned more about amatsuki since this started, and that's a little different, but learning about yoru? about boss? about his parents?
too personal.
he smiles a little tightly, more than an little wry, when he sees her face. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
... I would understand if you all did - given the track record that Winter has had. [two convicted murderers]
If only to test the hypothesis, if there is something about Winter itself that compels people to take the lives of others - though I don't know if you'll be safer elsewhere.
[ . . . she looks away, as if to obscure her expression]
... it would be a reasonable course of action.
no subject
bonk. ] Stop that.
[
okay, it's more of a tap to the top of her head with the back of his knuckles than it is a bonk, but he's going to drag her back out or so help him. this is his role to play in the dynamics of the dorm - the one that reminds the heroes of what they're supposed to be doing. (kon guesses that those peptalks for and scoldings from toki paid off, somehow.) ]
Rupert clearly didn't want to do it, and Kaoruko told enough people that we should play along, be less confrontational, because of a role she was playing. Simply because there was the commonality of them being from the same dorm doesn't mean that you're cursed, or that there might be some forces at play that mean Winter has a reputation for murder.
Everyone in Winter is so efficient and creative, [ he'll step around her in case she tries to properly look away from him. ] And we're using that to figure out how to catch the people being forced to kill against their will.
Fuck the reputation you're afraid of. [ because crow told him. ] We'll prove it wrong. As your dorm - you're stuck with us.
no subject
her gaze turns a little sharp at that - not in response to the bonk, but rather in response to an accusation that doesn't land quite right. not when crow suggested it, and not now.]
It is not about reputation. It is about a malevolent force asking people to act, and we don't know the exact motivation - but we know thus far that it has struck Winter twice. Don't you want to be in control of your own actions? Don't you want to avoid being asked to hurt others?
I don't care about my reputation - I have none left to lose. I only have all of you.
But you are all so willing to be commonly regarded as murderers without realizing just how dangerous that could prove to be. You should look after yourselves more than you care for loyalty to me - associations like that matter little if I lose you anyway.
no subject
So, what, leave to another dorm? Where people have been controlled every expulsion? Where another murderer could very well be lying in wait, having gotten away with killing Sieghart? Where another murderer is born, at the whims of the powers behind all this?
And the force here definitely didn't decide to play favorites on who it took, either, considering it wasn't just Winter residents who had their control taken from them. My group, the other group, even the ones who went into Ichiro's Japan - people were still hurt, still killed. People still died, and we were the cause of that, no matter whether the blood was fresh on our hands or not.
Despite everything, it was as real as all this. But we got through it by not being alone, and working together to survive.
So it's not just loyalty to you, and it's not, at its core, just the loyalty to the dorm in concept - that first week, I couldn't have cared less, when I didn't trust you or any of the other heads. But we all banded together, anyways, because we're stuck here together. We're all angry together.
It's loyalty to each other, because we're weathering the storm in the same shelter, looking for the same answers, using our skills to try and figure out what the hell is going on. Because you said it yourself, that we're a lot more similar than we give each other credit for. Those ideals, those goals, that anger... So you're stuck with us, because why would we go anywhere else, and because like recognizes like.
Just like us, every action you make says I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore.
no subject
You seem obviously fond of flipping your arguments based on convenience, Kon.
I clearly can't make any of you leave.
But I refuse to have it suggested that all I care about is reputation when all theories ought to be considered and tested. You are all my priority, and that includes keeping all of your hands as clean as I can. Even just a week away to see if something about Winter itself compels killers would've been enough.
As long as you all have a home in each other - that's all I could've wanted. That's all.
no subject
I don't - want to argue with you. [ he's been trying to do so much less of that, here. a truce with tsuyukusa, trying to keep his temper in check, trying to just get through this. it covers up all of the other problems underneath that. if he can compartmentalize and survive to the end of this, then it's fine. ]
And I don't want you to think it's for convenience, when it's duality. Nothing has been so simple, let alone in a situation like this, where the shades of grey that've been dumped in have muddled everything in the first place. I just want you to understand the kind of people you've accumulated in your dorm, and how they just are. Each person has their own place, and so many of the types you've got are different in temperament, in personality, in experience.
I just don't see my place in it the same way as you must - whether you've realized it or not, you've landed quite a few heroes in your dorm. So they're not going to take this kind of suggestion well, you know that, right? They're pretty insistent on the rely on me thing, to the point that I hear it multiple times a week.
And I'm not used to that, Viola. I'm not used to having a home in anyone. I'm not used to relying on people anymore.
So I want to prove you wrong, as much as I'd apologize, if you'd consider accepting that.
no subject
But I also can't say sorry. Not when I think that a home doesn't have to be a place - it can be people. If you all moved to Summer even if only temporarily, I think it would be much of the same. I simply wish you would all treasure yourselves most of all.
But if you associate Winter so strongly with home that's... Of course that's what I want - I'm just not selfish enough to not recognize that there are possible unidentified risks too.
[so she'll suggest it, because she wants to protect the people dear to her more than anything else.]
no subject
If there is a death that we can't prevent, and it turns out that the culprit - forced or otherwise - is from Winter, the same as Kaoruko and Rupert, I'll help you pose the suggestion.
no subject
But I will hold you to that.
[she WILL genuinely propose that they all move out if they find one more ding darn winter murderer]
no subject
[ and if this winds up being a ding darn murderer It Follows situation where it goes with them he'll eat his own arm ]
And I can still make preparations for if we need them. [ because he wants to do this before they both get riled up again. ] You said my memory extraction would cost 8 vouchers, 6 with a discount. How much would the power of rewriting someone be, with the intention to undo this place's attempt to control us, even temporarily?
no subject
though she tilts her head in response to that....]
Rewriting an entire person...? On par with mind control or something like that? [she pauses] ... Expensive, and I'm not even certain if I'd want to sell it.
no subject
More on par with... [ kon pauses, not sure if bringing it up will help or hinder. ] Like what Catra asked you permission to do, earlier this morning.
Limitations being as they are, and my own... newfound experience with it, I doubt that anything greater than that would be possible, let alone something I'd be as comfortable with as I had been when I was able to do it to virtual reality NPCs.
no subject
I would still place it at a rather expensive purchase for anything even remotely similar to the coupon use - just given the nature of it.
And since voucher exchanges are often more powerful than coupons, I would still be hesitant to sell it - even to you. Not for lack of trust but... principle.
no subject
he's not that surprised. and he doesn't necessarily seem disappointed by it, considering he wasn't optimistic. ]
No, I know it's not specifically for me - it's okay. It makes sense. That differentiation actually helps for any future transactions... well, any of us would want to do. So any voucher exchange to replicate a coupon would be, by nature, stronger than a temporary ability or item available to us through rewards. [ mostly thinking aloud so that he can tell people this later, but... ]
... I'll definitely do the memory extraction. But - Catra had her arm restored. Can an exchange... restore an injury that was incurred before arriving at Wiwaldi?
no subject
Yes, that should be doable. [and her expression does lighten up considerably] Are you taking care of your arm? I'm glad to hear it.
Healing an injury similar to Catra's would cost 8 - but I'd bring it to 6 as well, of course.
no subject
... yeah, I kind of got a taste of being able to use both hands when we were on our field trip. So if I could restore it, even if I don't tell anyone outside of a few people, it would help with more things than I can count.
[ but he will! pull out his vouchers, thumbing through them so that he can pocket two and offer her six. ]
For the ability, for now. I'll come see you again about the arm, if that's okay with you, but it's all a price I'm willing to pay to do something.
[ and it's not necessarily the first time he's been willing to shell out for something, anything to be able to do something, come to think of it. ]
no subject
Kon...
[she looks up at him, wide-eyed, and a little angry - but she's always angry when there's some suffering imposed on the people who matter to her]
no subject
kon doesn't like this, these memories shared with others without his consent. he was made to tell the others of why he was infiltrating amatsuki, why he did everything he did - underhanded or not - and he shared it more willingly, then. people have learned more about amatsuki since this started, and that's a little different, but learning about yoru? about boss? about his parents?
too personal.
he smiles a little tightly, more than an little wry, when he sees her face. ]
... I guess that explains a lot.
no subject
It....
[it sort of does. and doesn't. it leaves her with more questions and she is so naturally curious and worried, but - ]
I won't ask if you don't want me to. If it'll only cause pain, we don't need to talk about it.