...you know, it's a bit of a shame I wasn't able to properly work with you. I didn't know you were the source they mentioned until that message, earlier.
... It was probably better that way. Being involved with us only ever made people miserable.
[he stands by the decisions he made—that a temporary death was better than the potential of permanent assimilation. still, he hates that everyone else had to suffer for it.]
I thought that was all the more reason to be there, despite-- the way that things went, in the end.
[at least it meant that she could be there for ichiro, if nothing else. she doesn't know what he would have done otherwise; all the problems she had weren't with what they chose to do, but with how badly it hurt him.]
...you realize how many worlds we're from, here, if we can go back to them then-- surely there'd be some way. Are you sure?
[she's seen a hundred different worlds herself, obviously it's a possibility to move between them. it's just whether it proves possible from here, specifically.]
... Someone once asked me, before she knew what was going to happen, what I wanted to do once everything was over.
[and my answer remains the same since then, even if it was technically a lie. a lie, born from the fact that he couldn't bring himself to tell her then that there was no future for him; but in a hypothetical scenario where he lived, it would've been the truth.]
What I'd want to do with my life would be to change things in my world. It—my death alone won't be enough, even if I knew I wouldn't survive for the rest. [...] I don't know what I'd do with another chance elsewhere.
...if you've died there already, then-- I doubt there'd be a way to let you have the rest of your life back. Death just doesn't tend to work that way, not unless you go the undeath route, and that's, uh, still pretty frowned upon by the powers that be, where I'm from.
[she's quiet for a minute or two there, just... considering. it's going to have to keep existing, first, but--]
What about helping to change another world for the better?
[after the moment of surprise, though, he looks away.]
I... I don't know.
[i wanted to fight for this one cause above all. i don't know what i'd do before it's resolved. why am i alive now when he isn't? you asked before, what pushed me to this.
if my life can still be used to help others, then is it selfish to feel any other way than yes—
his thoughts are a flurry, disjointed and blurring into one another.]
[she catches those thoughts in the flurry, goes over them in her own head-- once again, she's quiet as she thinks over this.]
You're allowed to be selfish with your own life, whatever that means for you. I just-- want you to know that if you did decide to live, I would make a place for you. Maybe we'd find a way to reach your world again, too, I do belong to an organization of interplanar researchers.
[you deserve to still have a life, if you want to live it, but I wouldn't force one on you.]
[it's been a long time since he's ever been in a position to think of anything else; longer still since, however implicitly, he considered his life fully his own, if he ever did.]
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[she's quiet for a few moments, there.]
...you know, it's a bit of a shame I wasn't able to properly work with you. I didn't know you were the source they mentioned until that message, earlier.
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[he stands by the decisions he made—that a temporary death was better than the potential of permanent assimilation. still, he hates that everyone else had to suffer for it.]
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[at least it meant that she could be there for ichiro, if nothing else. she doesn't know what he would have done otherwise; all the problems she had weren't with what they chose to do, but with how badly it hurt him.]
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If we all make it out of this, what are you going to do?
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[said easily.]
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[sure, they have the astral plane in her world, there's a defined afterlife, but she doesn't know about his.]
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[she's seen a hundred different worlds herself, obviously it's a possibility to move between them. it's just whether it proves possible from here, specifically.]
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[and my answer remains the same since then, even if it was technically a lie. a lie, born from the fact that he couldn't bring himself to tell her then that there was no future for him; but in a hypothetical scenario where he lived, it would've been the truth.]
What I'd want to do with my life would be to change things in my world. It—my death alone won't be enough, even if I knew I wouldn't survive for the rest. [...] I don't know what I'd do with another chance elsewhere.
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[she's quiet for a minute or two there, just... considering. it's going to have to keep existing, first, but--]
What about helping to change another world for the better?
[1/2]
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I... I don't know.
[i wanted to fight for this one cause above all. i don't know what i'd do before it's resolved. why am i alive now when he isn't? you asked before, what pushed me to this.
if my life can still be used to help others, then is it selfish to feel any other way than yes—
his thoughts are a flurry, disjointed and blurring into one another.]
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[she catches those thoughts in the flurry, goes over them in her own head-- once again, she's quiet as she thinks over this.]
You're allowed to be selfish with your own life, whatever that means for you. I just-- want you to know that if you did decide to live, I would make a place for you. Maybe we'd find a way to reach your world again, too, I do belong to an organization of interplanar researchers.
[you deserve to still have a life, if you want to live it, but I wouldn't force one on you.]
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I've... never thought about it.
[it's been a long time since he's ever been in a position to think of anything else; longer still since, however implicitly, he considered his life fully his own, if he ever did.]
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[if he decides he wants to have that kind of chance-- she'll do what she can to try to make sure he gets it.]
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[even though right now, he really doesn't know what to do with an offer like that.]
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What were you planning to do for the rest of the day?
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[before a new week starts, because she doesn't trust the current state of things to last long at all.]
Maybe come see us downstairs, if you feel like it.