... I'm glad people were able to hold on, in the end.
[there were moments, over the past few weeks, where he was worried that wouldn't be the case. (terrified, that his actions would cause irreparable damage.)]
[the thing is she doesn't actually know about that so:]
Well, there are people here who would want you to have that if you'd take it, whether you'd do it for yourself or not.
[she can save her own world herself. he's one of a couple people here she'd use hers for.]
Nevermind what you think you should do, or what should happen. Don't factor in 'should' right now. What do you think would actually let you be happy?
Not just content with what happens, not just satisfied. I mean-- if you think of having happiness in your life, anywhere in it at all, no matter how small or impermanent it might seem-- where do you think you would find it?
[it's maybe not a real answer to her question, but—people here have told him he should think more about his own happiness, except he doesn't even really know what that would be like.
he devoted himself to protecting his village, even when he knew all along that it would never accept him. he left it for his brother's wishes. then, in the end, he devoted himself to his cause, even when he knew it would ultimately kill him. personal happiness hasn't factored into anything for a long time.]
Then you should still get to take part in making it. And when your world has its better future-- I know it can be difficult to think of living for oneself, I do. I haven't been doing that the last several years. Everything I do, everything I've done, it's been for the sake of... trying to ensure happiness for others. But that's-- seeing that happen for them, for my world, that's all that I want.
[she'll derive hers from theirs, find her joy in a world that won't have to fear destruction.]
If you don't have a more personal answer, then you should get the time to find one, Hugo. I think that's something everyone deserves to get-- one of the most valuable things you can have is time, and... just thinking about these things isn't always enough.
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for a minute, she's quiet, content to just watch the sky.]
Relieved to be done with it, or are you more on the side of believing it when it happens?
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I can't let my guard down just yet, but I don't think it's wrong to try and appreciate a victory in the moment.
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[she's-- tentatively relieved, herself.]
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[there were moments, over the past few weeks, where he was worried that wouldn't be the case. (terrified, that his actions would cause irreparable damage.)]
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[spring values, babey.]
... I worried about them sometimes, though.
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Well, there's a lot that's worrying.
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[it's very lightly teasing but also slightly not.]
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wow!!]
As I've said before, that's unnecessary.
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[the thing about stubbornness also didn't exclude her.]
...I just-- hope that you get what you want out of all of this, in the end. Whatever you decide that is.
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[better to take someone who has little left to lose.]
As long as everything turns out all right tomorrow, I'll be content.
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What I want has always been the same.
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[though it turns out it won't fuckin matter because some people here are taking that choice out of his hands]
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Well, there are people here who would want you to have that if you'd take it, whether you'd do it for yourself or not.
[she can save her own world herself. he's one of a couple people here she'd use hers for.]
Nevermind what you think you should do, or what should happen. Don't factor in 'should' right now. What do you think would actually let you be happy?
Not just content with what happens, not just satisfied. I mean-- if you think of having happiness in your life, anywhere in it at all, no matter how small or impermanent it might seem-- where do you think you would find it?
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What I want is a better future for my world.
[it's maybe not a real answer to her question, but—people here have told him he should think more about his own happiness, except he doesn't even really know what that would be like.
he devoted himself to protecting his village, even when he knew all along that it would never accept him. he left it for his brother's wishes. then, in the end, he devoted himself to his cause, even when he knew it would ultimately kill him. personal happiness hasn't factored into anything for a long time.]
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[she'll derive hers from theirs, find her joy in a world that won't have to fear destruction.]
If you don't have a more personal answer, then you should get the time to find one, Hugo. I think that's something everyone deserves to get-- one of the most valuable things you can have is time, and... just thinking about these things isn't always enough.
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... I don't regret my decisions. It's been enough for me.
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The world was unfair to you, and that's-- it's the way that things are, sometimes, but if we can fix an unfair thing then I think we should.