[ he is a little surprised by the question, which shows in both his expression and emotions, but he shakes his head. ]
No.
[ the accusation doesn't stir any resentment, though. he's been framed for murder once, so maybe it should, and weeks ago it certainly would have, but he sees where the question is coming from. ]
Would it have been easier for you, if another Winter did so? Or worse?
her expression doesn't change aside from her eyes shifting downward, but the stab in her chest is real. but it's complicated. the surprise at receiving an apology for even that, the pain of dimitri standing by someone who took something from her, and the near immediate guilt for even feeling this pain at all when it's not her right. but it fades instantly, disappears under the crush of being forcefully pushed down as her emotions shut back into something carefully curated and neutral.]
... I can't accept an apology that boils down to you caring about someone. No one should apologize for that.
You don't owe me anything, Dimitri. You never have and as long as you reside here, you never will.
[ his feelings in turn are a rumble of guilt, a mirrored hurt from purely empathy, but also a sense of acceptance. he was prepared for some people to feel betrayed after what happened with byleth. ]
No, it is... hypocrisy. [ he's killed others for taking from him. ] And there is little more I can offer than apologies.
We are all hypocrites. Byleth claims to have been Rupert's partner, and Rupert stole from others - but I am not frustrated with him the same way I am with her. We have our biases for our people, and... if I don't apologize, then neither should you.
Ultimately, you are still mine. [and despite her hurt - there is a sense of protectiveness, a wish to keep dimitri close despite everything]
And I would never want you to feel guilty or hurt for caring about someone.
[ her favoritism versus his connection to a murder within their house. he doesn't imagine it's an easy conclusion for her to come to, and she might be ignoring some feelings for his sake.
so he takes a deep breath. exhales. bites back his next apology, and carefully says this instead: ]
Then... I am in your care, Iris. [ ... ] Thank you.
it is a difficult conversation to have, and it is not wrong to assume some of her feelings are being pushed off to the side but - at his words, there is something so sincerely happy that blooms in her chest. her expression evens out considerably, and for someone who is so afraid of love, she seems to have no issue giving it freely, even to someone who spurned her for weeks.]
... you have my care for as long as you want it, and then some, Dimitri.
[ ...She is very kind. It's something he should've noticed a long while ago, but was too caught up in his own mind to really absorb it. There is some tender emotion returned to her, both raw and poorly shielded, but also a persisting melancholy. ]
Ah... you exaggerate.
[ He takes a sip from his cup, which is actually the first time he's ever drank any tea she offered—at best before, he'd just hold the porcelain until it got cold. ]
But I believe that too. There is something we can do about all this, I'm sure of it. It's just a matter of time.
[ Which is not easily bought. But he does sound sincere all the same. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 4, monday
I have a question for you.
no subject
That is fine. I am at the dorm.
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I'm in the common room.
Please come when you have a moment.
[she's there whenever he comes by!! she's pouring tea.... and she'll gesture for him to sit]
Just for your own awareness, I am still Iris today. I hope that's acceptable to you.
May I ask a possibly unacceptable or brusque question?
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Yes.
[ to both her questions. ]
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there is a stab of sharpness as she watches his expression when she asks - ]
Did you kill Crow?
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No.
[ the accusation doesn't stir any resentment, though. he's been framed for murder once, so maybe it should, and weeks ago it certainly would have, but he sees where the question is coming from. ]
Would it have been easier for you, if another Winter did so? Or worse?
no subject
I don't know. It was hard enough to see you and Rupert both at risk once, and knowing that no matter what, I would have lost someone dear.
[ . . . ]
I know you didn't kill Crow. I'm not a fool.
But since you didn't... please don't apologize to me. I don't want that from anyone but the persons responsible.
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[ even if he did not kill crow, he should disavow his murderer. ]
For that, I still owe you an apology.
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that one hurts.
her expression doesn't change aside from her eyes shifting downward, but the stab in her chest is real. but it's complicated. the surprise at receiving an apology for even that, the pain of dimitri standing by someone who took something from her, and the near immediate guilt for even feeling this pain at all when it's not her right. but it fades instantly, disappears under the crush of being forcefully pushed down as her emotions shut back into something carefully curated and neutral.]
... I can't accept an apology that boils down to you caring about someone. No one should apologize for that.
You don't owe me anything, Dimitri. You never have and as long as you reside here, you never will.
no subject
No, it is... hypocrisy. [ he's killed others for taking from him. ] And there is little more I can offer than apologies.
So it is all right to feel however you do, Iris.
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We are all hypocrites. Byleth claims to have been Rupert's partner, and Rupert stole from others - but I am not frustrated with him the same way I am with her. We have our biases for our people, and... if I don't apologize, then neither should you.
Ultimately, you are still mine. [and despite her hurt - there is a sense of protectiveness, a wish to keep dimitri close despite everything]
And I would never want you to feel guilty or hurt for caring about someone.
no subject
so he takes a deep breath. exhales. bites back his next apology, and carefully says this instead: ]
Then... I am in your care, Iris. [ ... ] Thank you.
no subject
it is a difficult conversation to have, and it is not wrong to assume some of her feelings are being pushed off to the side but - at his words, there is something so sincerely happy that blooms in her chest. her expression evens out considerably, and for someone who is so afraid of love, she seems to have no issue giving it freely, even to someone who spurned her for weeks.]
... you have my care for as long as you want it, and then some, Dimitri.
[painfully honestly:] I do adore you.
We will find a way through this.
no subject
Ah... you exaggerate.
[ He takes a sip from his cup, which is actually the first time he's ever drank any tea she offered—at best before, he'd just hold the porcelain until it got cold. ]
But I believe that too. There is something we can do about all this, I'm sure of it. It's just a matter of time.
[ Which is not easily bought. But he does sound sincere all the same. ]