[He does admire how much she cares for the dorm, even with her memories back.]
I admit I was rather fond of Fall. I think I expected, after everything that happened this weekend, not to feel so welcome there anymore, but that wasn't the case.
[They were all very sweet about it.]
But I'm glad to be here now. These are good people, too.
I wonder sometimes if you underestimate how much you're cared for, Caleb... I'm sure Fall misses you, but I won't say I'm not biased toward you joining Winter instead.
[it's easier when most of her favorites are under her roof?]
[He's aware of the tendency. There's a feeling of a little warmth, but also something sort of sad and doubtful there. He knows full well why it's hard for him to understand that.]
You care very much for your Dorm, yes? Even knowing you didn't exactly sign up to run one?
... then allow me and the others to remind you, in whatever ways we can.
[caleb is now a winter, which means he's just as subject to iris' very aggressive, stubborn care.
though his question pulls some feelings of nostalgia from her, melancholy, though they're also washed away by a very immediate overwhelming fondness]
Well... in my home, I oversee a fief. My goal is to make it a place that will always prosper, no matter what happens in the kingdom. Being able to oversee my Dorm is a little bit like that - but I get to interact with you all even more than I do the average citizen. When I'm at home, sometimes I need to hide my identity when I go into town... but here, I get to be me, and work and live with some of the kindest people I've ever met.
And I think Winter has a group that is nearly impossible not to be fond of.
[she will gladly take that hand, moving to join him on the roof. all the stargazing materials and blankets are still set up, and she'll summon up a bottle of wine and two glasses in her hands]
If everyone else is good people, what do you think that makes us?
Well. . . I can't say I know you all of that well, but knowing what I do of your goals and what you've made out of bad circumstances, I couldn't see myself thinking you were anything but.
[Wow, impressive. The wine summoning trick is a nice one. He'll wander over to the blankets, letting go of her hand once she's on her feet.]
Hmm. I think it's hard for most people to know whether or not they are.
[He will sit down next to her, take the glass of wine, sit for a moment and settle before speaking. She did ask him this question once, and he deflected, didn't bring it up again.]
But in my case, I know who I am. There are things I have done that cannot be undone or forgiven. I try these days to leave the world a little better where I can, and I find it helps, but. . .
[ . . . . hmm. she listens to that, thoughtful for a moment, before she leans against him briefly. she pulls away after, but the attempt is to give a brief, understanding touch.]
I can imagine there must be an awful lot I still don't know about you, Caleb - but from the you I've gotten to know here, and what you've let me learn... I like who you are. You're dear to me as you are.
[He says it softly, and means it sincerely, and he'll allow the touch, a little touched by her comfort. But there's an obvious stubborn discomfort, a slightly rejection.]
I'm very different than I used to be. But some things are . . . hard to leave behind.
[and she'll look up at the stars at that, letting her gaze fall elsewhere]
.... I've similarly done things I'm not proud of. And I don't think I could listen to anyone who tells me that it's alright, or those things don't matter. And I think trying to forget them would be a mistake.
But... I also think there's a strength and a kindness to wanting to balance out the things you've done before, when it's almost always easier to default on what you know.
[He takes the cue, too. To have a sip of the wine, to look back up at the sky.]
I have met a lot of people who live a life of regret. The only paths for it are denial or finding a way to live with it. Trying to do some good. . . that is how I live with it.
Shall we make that our toast then? [a little amused, and a little admiring] Two people, surrounded by other very good people, who are trying to do a few good things themselves?
. . . I had that outlook when I was very young. But it became all screwed up somehow. I have been trying to recapture it recently, I think. Make plans for the future.
Your political aspirations? [she smiles back, though it comes with a little laugh] ... I think I'm much worse than Viola, though, and most of that comes from my time in politics. So I feel the need to caution even more that it's an ugly place.
But I also wouldn't really choose to do anything else... so perhaps I'm a bit of a glutton for punishment.
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. . . I think some wine and stargazing sounds very good to me. I've been told I spend too much time in that library.
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Then let’s go home.
[to Winter!! she’ll lead them in that direction, already feeling fond over her sweet dorm]
I hope you’ve been feeling comfortable so far - I imagine it’s a little different from Fall.
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[He does admire how much she cares for the dorm, even with her memories back.]
I admit I was rather fond of Fall. I think I expected, after everything that happened this weekend, not to feel so welcome there anymore, but that wasn't the case.
[They were all very sweet about it.]
But I'm glad to be here now. These are good people, too.
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I wonder sometimes if you underestimate how much you're cared for, Caleb... I'm sure Fall misses you, but I won't say I'm not biased toward you joining Winter instead.
[it's easier when most of her favorites are under her roof?]
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[He's aware of the tendency. There's a feeling of a little warmth, but also something sort of sad and doubtful there. He knows full well why it's hard for him to understand that.]
You care very much for your Dorm, yes? Even knowing you didn't exactly sign up to run one?
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[caleb is now a winter, which means he's just as subject to iris' very aggressive, stubborn care.
though his question pulls some feelings of nostalgia from her, melancholy, though they're also washed away by a very immediate overwhelming fondness]
Well... in my home, I oversee a fief. My goal is to make it a place that will always prosper, no matter what happens in the kingdom. Being able to oversee my Dorm is a little bit like that - but I get to interact with you all even more than I do the average citizen. When I'm at home, sometimes I need to hide my identity when I go into town... but here, I get to be me, and work and live with some of the kindest people I've ever met.
And I think Winter has a group that is nearly impossible not to be fond of.
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[Which is why he's here. He didn't want to make her leave them.]
. . . And they are all very fond of you, as well.
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[she feels a little amazed by it? it's always a surprise when people like her.
but they probably made it back to the dorm and she'll gesture for him to head up the ladder to the roof first]
I'll follow after.
[dress problems]
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We are both fortunate, it seems, in having good people around us.
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[she will gladly take that hand, moving to join him on the roof. all the stargazing materials and blankets are still set up, and she'll summon up a bottle of wine and two glasses in her hands]
If everyone else is good people, what do you think that makes us?
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[Wow, impressive. The wine summoning trick is a nice one. He'll wander over to the blankets, letting go of her hand once she's on her feet.]
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... I don't think I'm very good.
[she'll pour the wine first, offering him a glass before she goes to sit next to him on the blanket]
At the very least, I think you'll have a hard time convincing me I'm any better than you.
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[He will sit down next to her, take the glass of wine, sit for a moment and settle before speaking. She did ask him this question once, and he deflected, didn't bring it up again.]
But in my case, I know who I am. There are things I have done that cannot be undone or forgiven. I try these days to leave the world a little better where I can, and I find it helps, but. . .
[He shrugs.]
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I can imagine there must be an awful lot I still don't know about you, Caleb - but from the you I've gotten to know here, and what you've let me learn... I like who you are. You're dear to me as you are.
[good, and bad, and Trying, and all.]
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[He says it softly, and means it sincerely, and he'll allow the touch, a little touched by her comfort. But there's an obvious stubborn discomfort, a slightly rejection.]
I'm very different than I used to be. But some things are . . . hard to leave behind.
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[and she'll look up at the stars at that, letting her gaze fall elsewhere]
.... I've similarly done things I'm not proud of. And I don't think I could listen to anyone who tells me that it's alright, or those things don't matter. And I think trying to forget them would be a mistake.
But... I also think there's a strength and a kindness to wanting to balance out the things you've done before, when it's almost always easier to default on what you know.
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I have met a lot of people who live a life of regret. The only paths for it are denial or finding a way to live with it. Trying to do some good. . . that is how I live with it.
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Shall we make that our toast then? [a little amused, and a little admiring] Two people, surrounded by other very good people, who are trying to do a few good things themselves?
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[Holding out the wine glass to hers, then.]
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Then may our results be satisfactory to us. I'm rather confident in having high hopes.
[but that's pretty much the foundation of her character - just having so much hope to spare]
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[It's a little surprising, what she just said about regrets when she always seems to have such a determined and positive attitude.]
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Hmm... just stubborn, I think. It does come with some measure of confidence... but I think I am just a person who does not like being defeated.
[so she will stubbornly cling to her version of victory for as long as she can]
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[A little smile.]
. . . I had that outlook when I was very young. But it became all screwed up somehow. I have been trying to recapture it recently, I think. Make plans for the future.
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But I also wouldn't really choose to do anything else... so perhaps I'm a bit of a glutton for punishment.