[(hxh voice) in my next life, i want to be me, and meet you again]
Don't apologize.
[He will hold Yamato while Yamato leans on him, it's fine. He thinks... this is what Sora would do for him, too. If he were spiraling, and if there was time. No. Sora would make time.
Sad, but supportive tendrils of comforting emotion reach out to tangle with the mess of Yamato's. It's turbulent. He's not good at this. His own feelings aren't much different. It's two drowning people trying to keep each other up, desperately clinging to the last piece of hopeful wood.]
We'll do it together. That's what friends do. I'm... tired of doing it alone. Aren't you? I couldn't have beaten Xemnas without Sora. And he couldn't have beaten Xemnas without me. We had to do it together.
We'll do this together. All of it. Even this right here.
he really didn't come here to break down on someone else. there's a lot of annoyance at that, at himself, because yamato's never been any good at emotional control in these circumstances, and it's always a little frustrating. so he's trying to focus on the good part-- riku trying to make him feel better and the things he's saying-- rather than anything else, like how he is the worst and making it riku's problem now too.
which, yeah, friendship, yamato, you can remember how that works sometimes. ]
... Yeah. I know. [ and then, a little more confident even if it's not all backed up by the right feelings; ] I know we will. I just...
It's what we'll have to do to get there that scares me, I guess.
[He's quiet. His emotions are as twisted up as Yamato's, but... his heart and breathing are steady and strong against Yamato's chest.
He pulls away just enough to be able to see Yamato's face. One hand rests when Yamato's neck meets the shoulder, sturdy. The other comes up to wipe the side of Yamato's face under the good eye with the heel of his thumb.]
Listen to your heart. You might not... have to do what you think you do. Killing them to stop them. Things aren't adding up, right? Caiman was different, but the others...
You have what it takes to find them instead, don't you? So catch them. You don't have to do it alone because you can do it together as a group. If that isn't enough... then do what you have to do to stop them, but don't be scared of it.
[ yamato looks away when riku wipes his face, which is fine, since he wants to look away at what he says, too. ]
... Catching them's the same, isn't it? Expulsion. [ it's still killing them, just later. he grimaces a little, feeling grim and exhausted ] I know it's what we have to do. I just... hate it. Luxanna is...
I think she might. She was worried about people targeting Byleth, this week. [ it was a big fucking tell, but. ] When we were out on that... field trip. I got to see some pretty personal stuff, from all three of them.
[ ... he does not expand on it ]
I know none of them would act if they had a choice. I just wish I could figure out why they're doing it. Maybe then there'd be another way.
[ yamato rolls his neck now that he is free of riku's yaoi hands. he stays quiet for a while as he mulls that question over ]
I don't know. With the rumor that people can become berserk and start killing, I thought maybe... But it doesn't quite fit. They found snacks, like they had a drink with Crow first. And if they had any way of knowing who's snapping before it happens, they wouldn't be working in pairs for one target and letting someone else kill.
So making them comfortable. Who eats with the people they are going to kill? The people they've supposedly killed haven't been kids either.
What else? You're thinking too narrow. More things than just on those days. The people who are acting strange--like we did. Why? Being thrown outside at night.
The things we can sell on Sundays. The things you all bring back from those places. Clues, right?
[ all Riku is getting from this is vague frustration, because yes, he knows he's stupid and can't figure shit out, outlining them doesn't help. he doesn't react on that anger because it's just the usual fun self-loathing shtick he has opted to ignore for today ]
The school spirit brainwashing... the person with that always ends up outside at night. I don't know if that means anything considering all the other patterns that fit with that. Taichi and Ichiro outlined a bunch at trial. There's just-- it can't all mean something.
Our most recent clues I can't interpret at all. The bear's working on a way to bring the dead back so then what the hell are we doing?
[ distracted by riku's own very compelling anger, there's just concern now? ]
... I know you're not. I didn't spend so much time trying to get through to you to think otherwise. [ it wasn't directed at him but he still wants it known? ] You've been yourself for a few days now. It's probably too early to say for sure, but I think you did manage to break that hold for good.
[ he seems confident there! somehow!! yamato pick a lane on your beliefs ]
[ considering yamato pitched a baby fit and made a mess, Riku is definitely allowed to get mad? Wow? it's yamato's turn to put his hand on riku's shoulder as well ]
... Yeah. We've been worried about that, too, and if the school spirit thing might be the start of something like that. [ ... ] On that field trip-- Taichi's memories were messed with, but my group just got a new set of them. Like a separate life we'd lived there. We still remembered this one, but it was... further. I think it must have meant something.
For as much as he talks big and steady, a mildly fearful, wild feeling reaches out to grab and cling onto Yamato when the hand touches him. Something a tiny bit sad and a tiny bit hopeless.
He can't do this without Sora is what he keeps thinking over and over. He doesn't have Sora again. (He spent a year running from him!) He is going to have to do this without that bright beam radiating out of all the dark.]
It's trying to... grab on, or something. It's... rewriting us? That's how it felt... being Luke, but then remembering myself, and remembering being him too.
[ yamato doesn't run from that feeling of fear, simply squeezes Riku's arm and tries to project assurance. he probably lands a bit closer to understanding. ]
... I don't know if it was exactly the same. Right now, those memories... I remember the whole thing, but that history they gave feels more like a movie I watched than something that happened to me personally now. [ which is a good thing, but there's something melancholic about the way he says it ]
[His brows pinch again. He's trying to to fall right back into the bitter frustration so the both of them don't end up on a stupid feedback loop of same hat.]
...Those places remind me of Roxas.
DiZ gave Roxas a fake life to lead in the digital world. It worked for a while... but parts of Sora couldn't be separated from Roxas because they were pieces of each other, so Roxas remembered them. Then the Organization infiltrated the world to take him back, too.
Both things... ruined the story, ruined the illusion.
[ yamato frowns a bit because, well, some of that still sounds vaguely fucked up on that Roxas guy, but it's not the point. ]
... Taichi and I have talked about that. If this place is maybe set in a virtual reality of some kind, and that's why so much stuff can just be controlled or rewritten. But that still means despite everything, your real selves shone through, right? So it's not like they can fully dictate things for us.
[It was, but all he cared about was getting his friend back whole because he's high gay on the gay side of bi.
It's...fine.]
I know. I don't know if it's virtual or not. All I know is it seems like there's a story this place is trying to force us to follow, but things... are wrong sometimes. Things don't... match?
The killings, the strange extra credit, the other places. Like the story isn't... [He struggles for the right words.] ...stable?
I thought so too, but the pages of script we found had some of those random murder or death scenarios. ... Well, I say script, but it's like some kind of demented adlib. It's-- there's comments on the original thing Taichi bought, like the pilot is too boring and they should find a way to make it stand out. I thought maybe that meant that stuff was the twist they thought about, but it doesn't explain ... anything else.
[Yamato isn't wrong, and that's what makes him go quiet. His eyes lower, and he glowers at the floor. There's no argument there. It feels like they're missing pieces of the puzzle.
Or they have the pieces, but don't have them in the right order.]
...
[Yet again, he really wishes Sora was fucking here because Sora would know what to say!!]
[ imagine getting notifs wow. but riku goes quiet and so does yamato for a second before he lets out a breath, seemingly steeling and centering himself ]
... We'll figure it out.
[ he nudges riku a little ]
... I should finish your nails. They already look bad enough without being half done.
[The nudge stirs him into focusing. He lifts a hand and glances down. The nails are so bad, but it's almost endearing in a way. His sigh is a little bit more forlorn than Yamato's een if it's a centering one.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Don't apologize.
[He will hold Yamato while Yamato leans on him, it's fine. He thinks... this is what Sora would do for him, too. If he were spiraling, and if there was time. No. Sora would make time.
Sad, but supportive tendrils of comforting emotion reach out to tangle with the mess of Yamato's. It's turbulent. He's not good at this. His own feelings aren't much different. It's two drowning people trying to keep each other up, desperately clinging to the last piece of hopeful wood.]
We'll do it together. That's what friends do. I'm... tired of doing it alone. Aren't you? I couldn't have beaten Xemnas without Sora. And he couldn't have beaten Xemnas without me. We had to do it together.
We'll do this together. All of it. Even this right here.
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he really didn't come here to break down on someone else. there's a lot of annoyance at that, at himself, because yamato's never been any good at emotional control in these circumstances, and it's always a little frustrating. so he's trying to focus on the good part-- riku trying to make him feel better and the things he's saying-- rather than anything else, like how he is the worst and making it riku's problem now too.
which, yeah, friendship, yamato, you can remember how that works sometimes. ]
... Yeah. I know. [ and then, a little more confident even if it's not all backed up by the right feelings; ] I know we will. I just...
It's what we'll have to do to get there that scares me, I guess.
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He pulls away just enough to be able to see Yamato's face. One hand rests when Yamato's neck meets the shoulder, sturdy. The other comes up to wipe the side of Yamato's face under the good eye with the heel of his thumb.]
Listen to your heart. You might not... have to do what you think you do. Killing them to stop them. Things aren't adding up, right? Caiman was different, but the others...
You have what it takes to find them instead, don't you? So catch them. You don't have to do it alone because you can do it together as a group. If that isn't enough... then do what you have to do to stop them, but don't be scared of it.
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... Catching them's the same, isn't it? Expulsion. [ it's still killing them, just later. he grimaces a little, feeling grim and exhausted ] I know it's what we have to do. I just... hate it. Luxanna is...
[ ... ]
She's a friend. That always makes it harder.
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[He gets it. The frustration. The anger at the unfairness. His hand lowers.]
You think you know where they are, right? Afterward. That's a start. And the auction item. Sally's. What it can do. That's a start, too.
It'd be worse if it were easy, Yamato. We don't want that to ever be easy. I'll share the responsibility with you. I'll share the burden.
I think Luxanna would understand. When I've talked to her... She's big about justice. In your shoes, I don't know if she would hesitate.
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I think she might. She was worried about people targeting Byleth, this week. [ it was a big fucking tell, but. ] When we were out on that... field trip. I got to see some pretty personal stuff, from all three of them.
[ ... he does not expand on it ]
I know none of them would act if they had a choice. I just wish I could figure out why they're doing it. Maybe then there'd be another way.
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[He sighs, not condescendingly, but tiredly. He doesn't know the things Yamato saw. He just knows how he is, how that then can make Fall. Too similar.
He brings his hand back to himself finally so it doesn't weigh so heavily on Yamato's shoulder and neck.]
Why do you think they're doing it? What does killing have in common with everything else you've seen happen?
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I don't know. With the rumor that people can become berserk and start killing, I thought maybe... But it doesn't quite fit. They found snacks, like they had a drink with Crow first. And if they had any way of knowing who's snapping before it happens, they wouldn't be working in pairs for one target and letting someone else kill.
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So making them comfortable. Who eats with the people they are going to kill? The people they've supposedly killed haven't been kids either.
What else? You're thinking too narrow. More things than just on those days. The people who are acting strange--like we did. Why? Being thrown outside at night.
The things we can sell on Sundays. The things you all bring back from those places. Clues, right?
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The school spirit brainwashing... the person with that always ends up outside at night. I don't know if that means anything considering all the other patterns that fit with that. Taichi and Ichiro outlined a bunch at trial. There's just-- it can't all mean something.
Our most recent clues I can't interpret at all. The bear's working on a way to bring the dead back so then what the hell are we doing?
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We're trying to find a way to stop this stupid charade. I'm not letting it turn me into someone else again.
I'm finished being forced to follow along with this place's story! That isn't who I am!
[His own voice pitches in very similar frustration, but it's not directed at Yamato.]
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... I know you're not. I didn't spend so much time trying to get through to you to think otherwise. [ it wasn't directed at him but he still wants it known? ] You've been yourself for a few days now. It's probably too early to say for sure, but I think you did manage to break that hold for good.
[ he seems confident there! somehow!! yamato pick a lane on your beliefs ]
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I know... Sorry. It's just...
[He glances away, up, brows pinched.]
If it happened to me... and Iris, and Annie, and Hugo, I don't want it to happen to anyone else.
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[ considering yamato pitched a baby fit and made a mess, Riku is definitely allowed to get mad? Wow? it's yamato's turn to put his hand on riku's shoulder as well ]
... Yeah. We've been worried about that, too, and if the school spirit thing might be the start of something like that. [ ... ] On that field trip-- Taichi's memories were messed with, but my group just got a new set of them. Like a separate life we'd lived there. We still remembered this one, but it was... further. I think it must have meant something.
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For as much as he talks big and steady, a mildly fearful, wild feeling reaches out to grab and cling onto Yamato when the hand touches him. Something a tiny bit sad and a tiny bit hopeless.
He can't do this without Sora is what he keeps thinking over and over. He doesn't have Sora again. (He spent a year running from him!) He is going to have to do this without that bright beam radiating out of all the dark.]
It's trying to... grab on, or something. It's... rewriting us? That's how it felt... being Luke, but then remembering myself, and remembering being him too.
[His eyes lift. He frowns at Yamato.]
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... I don't know if it was exactly the same. Right now, those memories... I remember the whole thing, but that history they gave feels more like a movie I watched than something that happened to me personally now. [ which is a good thing, but there's something melancholic about the way he says it ]
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[His brows pinch again. He's trying to to fall right back into the bitter frustration so the both of them don't end up on a stupid feedback loop of same hat.]
...Those places remind me of Roxas.
DiZ gave Roxas a fake life to lead in the digital world. It worked for a while... but parts of Sora couldn't be separated from Roxas because they were pieces of each other, so Roxas remembered them. Then the Organization infiltrated the world to take him back, too.
Both things... ruined the story, ruined the illusion.
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... Taichi and I have talked about that. If this place is maybe set in a virtual reality of some kind, and that's why so much stuff can just be controlled or rewritten. But that still means despite everything, your real selves shone through, right? So it's not like they can fully dictate things for us.
[ whoever they...is ]
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It's...fine.]
I know. I don't know if it's virtual or not. All I know is it seems like there's a story this place is trying to force us to follow, but things... are wrong sometimes. Things don't... match?
The killings, the strange extra credit, the other places. Like the story isn't... [He struggles for the right words.] ...stable?
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but yamato nods along because-- yeah. ]
I thought so too, but the pages of script we found had some of those random murder or death scenarios. ... Well, I say script, but it's like some kind of demented adlib. It's-- there's comments on the original thing Taichi bought, like the pilot is too boring and they should find a way to make it stand out. I thought maybe that meant that stuff was the twist they thought about, but it doesn't explain ... anything else.
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Or they have the pieces, but don't have them in the right order.]
...
[Yet again, he really wishes Sora was fucking here because Sora would know what to say!!]
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... We'll figure it out.
[ he nudges riku a little ]
... I should finish your nails. They already look bad enough without being half done.
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Time to pack all that away for now.]
You probably did better than I could have.
[Offers his hand.]
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[ but he'll grab riku's hand and start on that one too ]
At least I've stopped walking into doors.
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[Some gently annoyed frustration bubbles up in him.]
You really tick me off with that. [The other hand reaches up. He flicks Yamato one good, solid time on the forehead.] Cut it out.
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