[There is something extremely primal that bubbles up from within him. That very little taste of fear. Not the irrational kind. The kind felt about things like mortality. The heavy fear.
[Oh... That's a bad feeling? And he feels guilty for potentially being the cause of it - or like, part of the cause. Carrying the cause around. Muramasa just vibes... Wouldn't it be funny if for emotion share week anyone who touched it got demon sword emotions.
Anyway, he'll carefully make his way around Riku and move toward the forest.]
[Without any reluctance, though, he falls in line beside Sakyou. He might be worried, but he ain't a coward!]
You should just be careful listening to what it says.
[For obvious reasons Sakyou now mchecking knows. Sometimes! You remember! Being a little binch and getting possessed because you're drinking dumb bitch juice!]
[STILL HATE THIS. STOP GETTING POSSESSED YOU FUCK. Both of these fucks need to stop getting possessed but at least he wasn't possessed by a wholeass different evil person!! He was just possessed by a demonic god sword. AND IT HASN'T FULLY HAPPENED YET IT'S FINE.]
...There isn't much to take care with. It doesn't say much these days that resemble what it said in that memory.
[Most of what it does is just ruthlessly mock people for being miserable and also talk delightedly about all the trial gore.]
[DON'T TCH!! HE'S NOT GETTING POSSESSED IT'S FINE.
Anyway spoken like a true guy who's been possessed before. And he feels it, honestly! Even without any demonic influence behind Muramasa's words, it's exhausting having to listen to it constantly, day and night, whenever it decides to speak up. Constantly at the edge of anxiety, never knowing what it might say or when it might say it...
He glances over, frowning. Fortunately he's already talked to Iris at this point so he has a good feeling that Riku's head won't pop like a balloon if he tries talking about what he'd seen.]
[His eyes lower for a moment, but he doesn't turn and glance at Sakyou at all. He's focused forward ahead of them, still walking.]
Yeah. There was always darkness in my heart. I didn't understand why. Why... could Sora, or Kairi...? Why didn't they seem to have any? When everyone tells you darkness is bad, or wrong. I said I wasn't afraid, but... I was. Later. When I realized how easy it was for the darkness to control me.
I wanted to protect Kairi. We had made that promise. But... I wasn't strong enough. Of course not. Sora was the one protecting Kairi's heart all along, keeping it inside him. All I had in my heart was Ansem... and darkness.
Even after getting control of my body back... Ansem was still there. No matter how high I climbed in the castle, he was always whispering in my heart, trying to get me to give into the darkness. Trying to get me to give him control again.
[He glances down toward his sword which is probably saying some rude shit right about now, so it's a good thing Riku's facing forward. God bless.
Anyway that sounds terrible! Sakyou falls back a little just so Riku won't have to feel his emotions so strongly since none of them are pleasant. A grim sort of understanding, concern, unease; negative and weighty anxieties that he surely doesn't need on top of his own.]
...How were you able to handle that? [He doesn't have to worry about Muramasa trying to tempt him into giving over control of his body; the sword isn't interested in that. It simply relies on its host to bathe it in blood, keeping it fed.
There's a little hesitance before he asks:] Is it still like that even now?
[But it doesn't sound like Riku isn't willing to tell it. Finally, he glances over and back at Sakyou. He doesn't look angry, or even judgmental. The feelings in him are... that soft boy kind of concern.]
He almost took control of me again, but a friend helped keep him at bay. The King, Mickey. [Mickey Mouse. Don't question it.] He taught me that... you're never alone, even when you think you are. Your friends are always in your heart.
[He sounds so fucking earnest saying this, I'm sorry.]
I learned... it's okay to have a heart with light and darkness. You can use both. So I decided to face Ansem, to get him out of my heart for good. Someone helped me summon him, and I defeated him... using the strength I had--light and darkness. But... even then... I had to use the strength of the darkness to help Sora.
Doing it made me... look like Ansem. So I hid from Sora and everyone because I didn't want them to see me like that. What I had become. They were looking for me, but I didn't want them to find me.
[Wow... The inner disney really hopped out like 7 separate times just now, huh. Sweet Riku...
Sakyou's a good listener, at least. He's attentive as Riku talks, even if he's sitting here sweating because someone mentioned already that the CYOA involved Riku's memories and someone else mentioned Mickey Mouse and now he's like that mouse is a fucking king???? but it's fine.
There is a lot here he can only understand tangentially though, honestly. Like... sometimes you just don't have friends for years and then suddenly have a bunch that you keep trying to push away so you don't end up Harming Them. That's also fine.]
I see... [Does he though.] ...Is that - the last thing you remember before coming here? Or did more happen after?
[gmail didnt give me this notif and like half of any other notifs WHY ME I WAS MOSTLY FINE I THINK FOR SO LONG!!!!!!!]
Mm. Sora and Kairi found me anyway. Well... Kairi did. She knew it was me. Sora never realized because... he's always a little slow on the uptake. [(affectionate)] But... they found me.
We were going to go home, but only Kairi and the others made it through the portal. Sora and I had to put a stop to a man named Xemnas. We beat him together, but we were still trapped. We kept walking until we came to the end, the shores of darkness.
That's the last thing I remember. Us sitting on the shore by the water in the darkness, planning to be there for who knows how long. Maybe forever. Together.
[It's like one of Sakyou's routes except it's gay darkness instead of heterosexual hellfire.]
[YOUR TIME HAS COME NOW........... GOOD NIGHT MOON.
This is so fucking funny though THIS SORA ROASTING. WHAT A FUCKING CHUCKLEHEAD. He understands "idiot (fond)" too well, though, so there's just a little twinge of amusement in his vibes. That switches to something more somber soon after, though. Eternal gay darkness... Damn.]
The shores of darkness... [Well, he remembers that memory, at least. WOW THE CONTEXT IS EVEN MORE TRAGIC.] That place from your memory. ...Were you at peace with it? With the possibility of being there forever?
[At least they had (friendship voice) each other, but that still seems like a raw deal, wow.]
Stop, he can roast his best friend because it's true. The only one holding the braincell in this trio is Kairi.]
...
[He turns his head forward again, falling quiet for a long moment or two. There isn't any way to say no, as awful and terrible as it sounds for two fifteen and sixteen year old boys to be saying yes to that.]
...We were. We agreed... we'd be the darkness, if it came to that, and other people would have to be the light. It wasn't as hard, I don't think, with Sora there. With us being together.
[YEAH! NIGHT MOON GOOD NIGHT MOON. Good night one single braincell group moon...
Also, honestly, that's fair. Fucked up, but fair! They're not that young in ye olde ages, anyway. Also wow that's gay.]
...Mm. I think - when you're with someone that you care about, it becomes easier to face all of the unpleasant or frightening things that you may have struggled to face alone.
[Is he perhaps talking from experience? He might be!]
Wow though what an edgelord... can't believe they're basically the same person though, except Sakyou is just depressed about it. (Riku voice) tch i can do shit on my own (sakyou voice) i have to because anyone close to me will suffer greatly otherwise.
Anyway, he-- very nearly averts his gaze again HE HATES BEING PERCEIVED. But he makes a concerted effort not to this time, even if there are some faintly disgruntled vibes happening.]
...I have no plans of doing anything like that, at the very least. So you don't need to be concerned. [...] I'm glad you were able to come to that realization.
It took me giving into the darkness and changing who I was to realize it.
Don't make my mistake. Everyone who cares about you? It actually hurts them more in the end when you run away.
[His right hand flexes. Sakyou can see the orbs of light come from the air toward his palm, and an encasement of light form the shape of a sword extended outward. The strange sword he had before materializes in his hand as the light fades. This happens so very quickly, but long enough to recognize.
Without warning or hesitation, he stops and swings suddenly back on Sakyou, testing. There's no anger to his emotions, only curiosity.]
[Sakyou looks like he's thinking that statement over - like he might have something to say about it. Because SOMETIMES people really do hurt more when you don't run away! Like when you accidentally get them dragged into hell for all eternity, wow.
But it's fine because he doesn't know that might happen, and he's distracted by this funny little light show first. HE KNEW THAT FUCKIN SWORD WAS TOO WEIRD TO BE A CARNIVAL PRIZE--
But oh, whoop. Good thing his reflexes are wild as hell. Even though he's at a technical disadvantage because he has to unsheathe his blade, he moves with such practiced ease and fluidity that he withdraws it in a breath to block. There's the sound of metal on metal. Despite being a fuckin demon sword, Muramasa is just here, vibing.]
[I need you to know that gmail sent me the notif of our other Anti-Possession Pact thread, and then sent? this one? Afterward? I'M LOSING MY MIND? MY NOTIFS?
The good reflexes are appreciated more than they surprise him. Sakyou seemed like a very skilled swordsman, so. Riku is glad? This was all expected? Which is why he was a gremlin and tried to attack.]
Not bad.
[This stupid ass sword. He presses down onto it with the keyblade a bit, adding a lil pointed pressure. LIL BINCH.]
[GMAIL IS REALLY FUCKIN STRUGGLING IN THIS CHRISTIAN HOUSE.
Anyway glad Riku is having a good time with this. Do not test him in a battle of sheer strength though, these scrawny otome arms can lift and wield swords that are almost 5 feet like he's just using a regularass wakizashi. SO HE PUSHES BACK, FUCKIN GREMLIN.]
I would not have survived this long if I was anything less.
[The strength Sakyou has is what shocks him instead. Naturally, a swordsman would be strong to be able to wield a blade, but it still... really surprises him!
And also jostles him backward. He stumbles for half a step, and then catches himself, but continues leaping away and breaking their stalemate. Look, he has to be careful Sakyou isn't going to follow-up after he decided to be a little attack goblin.]
Is it something everyone has to do where you're from? Be a swordsman. They're passed down, aren't they? The swords. Or do you find the swords like you did? Can you only use them if your heart is strong?
[Fortunately he doesn't follow up with another attack after that, but it's largely because he tries to wield Muramasa as little as possible and that seems even more important around Riku! The blade's still out though, just in case this is all a DISTRACTION and Riku is just waiting to kick his ass as soon as he gets distracted by samurai talk.
Please understand that even though swords aren't keyblades, samurai ideals basically make them as such.]
No - samurai come from lineages of warriors. Not everyone can wield a blade. Many families - especially larger or more established ones - do pass along their swords, though. My-- real sword, Hotarumaru, is an heirloom. [THAT HE THREW AWAAAAAAY his guilt...] A wavering heart will affect one's ability to attack or defend, as well, so I would say that's true.
[Yeah!!! He's waiting for an opportunity of attack!! (no) The keyblade lowers down by his legs. An offer of niceness.]
I think I prefer the other one.
[Pointed look at the SWORD. Tch.]
I thought being the strongest was important. Wielding the Kingdom Key... I thought that meant being better and stronger all on my own.
But Sora took it back from me even after saying he didn't need a weapon. He had his friends. That keyblade just doesn't belong to me. It's not the one that belongs to my heart.
[Sometimes you are just full of DARKNESS bc the creator wanted you to be the edgy foil to the protagonist.]
Yes.
[He lifts it up just enough to turn it so Sakyou can look. IT REALLY IS THE EDGY 2005 DEVIANTART WEAPON OF AN EDGY OC!!! ANGEL AND DEMON MOTIFS MIXING TOGETHER!! AN EYEBALL! this is still my favorite keyblade tho bc i too am an edgy 2005 da original character]
It looks a little different than it did before. I guess it changed as my heart changed.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Just a twinge of it.]
After you.
[He'll follow. >:\]
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Anyway, he'll carefully make his way around Riku and move toward the forest.]
...I can set it to the side, if it troubles you.
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You should just be careful listening to what it says.
[For obvious reasons Sakyou now mchecking knows. Sometimes! You remember! Being a little binch and getting possessed because you're drinking dumb bitch juice!]
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...There isn't much to take care with. It doesn't say much these days that resemble what it said in that memory.
[Most of what it does is just ruthlessly mock people for being miserable and also talk delightedly about all the trial gore.]
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It isn't really about what it says. It's... about how long it's with you saying it. Over and over.
It'll drive you crazy. That's all you'll hear, even when your friends are trying to talk to you.
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Anyway spoken like a true guy who's been possessed before. And he feels it, honestly! Even without any demonic influence behind Muramasa's words, it's exhausting having to listen to it constantly, day and night, whenever it decides to speak up. Constantly at the edge of anxiety, never knowing what it might say or when it might say it...
He glances over, frowning. Fortunately he's already talked to Iris at this point so he has a good feeling that Riku's head won't pop like a balloon if he tries talking about what he'd seen.]
...Is that what it was like for you?
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Yeah. There was always darkness in my heart. I didn't understand why. Why... could Sora, or Kairi...? Why didn't they seem to have any? When everyone tells you darkness is bad, or wrong. I said I wasn't afraid, but... I was. Later. When I realized how easy it was for the darkness to control me.
I wanted to protect Kairi. We had made that promise. But... I wasn't strong enough. Of course not. Sora was the one protecting Kairi's heart all along, keeping it inside him. All I had in my heart was Ansem... and darkness.
Even after getting control of my body back... Ansem was still there. No matter how high I climbed in the castle, he was always whispering in my heart, trying to get me to give into the darkness. Trying to get me to give him control again.
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Anyway that sounds terrible! Sakyou falls back a little just so Riku won't have to feel his emotions so strongly since none of them are pleasant. A grim sort of understanding, concern, unease; negative and weighty anxieties that he surely doesn't need on top of his own.]
...How were you able to handle that? [He doesn't have to worry about Muramasa trying to tempt him into giving over control of his body; the sword isn't interested in that. It simply relies on its host to bathe it in blood, keeping it fed.
There's a little hesitance before he asks:] Is it still like that even now?
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[But it doesn't sound like Riku isn't willing to tell it. Finally, he glances over and back at Sakyou. He doesn't look angry, or even judgmental. The feelings in him are... that soft boy kind of concern.]
He almost took control of me again, but a friend helped keep him at bay. The King, Mickey. [Mickey Mouse. Don't question it.] He taught me that... you're never alone, even when you think you are. Your friends are always in your heart.
[He sounds so fucking earnest saying this, I'm sorry.]
I learned... it's okay to have a heart with light and darkness. You can use both. So I decided to face Ansem, to get him out of my heart for good. Someone helped me summon him, and I defeated him... using the strength I had--light and darkness. But... even then... I had to use the strength of the darkness to help Sora.
Doing it made me... look like Ansem. So I hid from Sora and everyone because I didn't want them to see me like that. What I had become. They were looking for me, but I didn't want them to find me.
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Sakyou's a good listener, at least. He's attentive as Riku talks, even if he's sitting here sweating because someone mentioned already that the CYOA involved Riku's memories and someone else mentioned Mickey Mouse and now he's like that mouse is a fucking king???? but it's fine.
There is a lot here he can only understand tangentially though, honestly. Like... sometimes you just don't have friends for years and then suddenly have a bunch that you keep trying to push away so you don't end up Harming Them. That's also fine.]
I see... [Does he though.] ...Is that - the last thing you remember before coming here? Or did more happen after?
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Mm. Sora and Kairi found me anyway. Well... Kairi did. She knew it was me. Sora never realized because... he's always a little slow on the uptake. [(affectionate)] But... they found me.
We were going to go home, but only Kairi and the others made it through the portal. Sora and I had to put a stop to a man named Xemnas. We beat him together, but we were still trapped. We kept walking until we came to the end, the shores of darkness.
That's the last thing I remember. Us sitting on the shore by the water in the darkness, planning to be there for who knows how long. Maybe forever. Together.
[It's like one of Sakyou's routes except it's gay darkness instead of heterosexual hellfire.]
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This is so fucking funny though THIS SORA ROASTING. WHAT A FUCKING CHUCKLEHEAD. He understands "idiot (fond)" too well, though, so there's just a little twinge of amusement in his vibes. That switches to something more somber soon after, though. Eternal gay darkness... Damn.]
The shores of darkness... [Well, he remembers that memory, at least. WOW THE CONTEXT IS EVEN MORE TRAGIC.] That place from your memory. ...Were you at peace with it? With the possibility of being there forever?
[At least they had (friendship voice) each other, but that still seems like a raw deal, wow.]
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Stop, he can roast his best friend because it's true. The only one holding the braincell in this trio is Kairi.]
...
[He turns his head forward again, falling quiet for a long moment or two. There isn't any way to say no, as awful and terrible as it sounds for two fifteen and sixteen year old boys to be saying yes to that.]
...We were. We agreed... we'd be the darkness, if it came to that, and other people would have to be the light. It wasn't as hard, I don't think, with Sora there. With us being together.
[He went from Disney to gay real quick.]
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Also, honestly, that's fair. Fucked up, but fair! They're not that young in ye olde ages, anyway. Also wow that's gay.]
...Mm. I think - when you're with someone that you care about, it becomes easier to face all of the unpleasant or frightening things that you may have struggled to face alone.
[Is he perhaps talking from experience? He might be!]
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I think so, too. It just took a long time to realize that.
[(young edgy riku) tch who needs friends to help me do shit i can do it on my own
He does peer back at Sakyou sort of curiously and pointedly though.]
But you won't be able to trust your friends if you listen to a voice telling you to give into the darkness.
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Wow though what an edgelord... can't believe they're basically the same person though, except Sakyou is just depressed about it. (Riku voice) tch i can do shit on my own (sakyou voice) i have to because anyone close to me will suffer greatly otherwise.
Anyway, he-- very nearly averts his gaze again HE HATES BEING PERCEIVED. But he makes a concerted effort not to this time, even if there are some faintly disgruntled vibes happening.]
...I have no plans of doing anything like that, at the very least. So you don't need to be concerned. [...] I'm glad you were able to come to that realization.
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Don't make my mistake. Everyone who cares about you? It actually hurts them more in the end when you run away.
[His right hand flexes. Sakyou can see the orbs of light come from the air toward his palm, and an encasement of light form the shape of a sword extended outward. The strange sword he had before materializes in his hand as the light fades. This happens so very quickly, but long enough to recognize.
Without warning or hesitation, he stops and swings suddenly back on Sakyou, testing. There's no anger to his emotions, only curiosity.]
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But it's fine because he doesn't know that might happen, and he's distracted by this funny little light show first. HE KNEW THAT FUCKIN SWORD WAS TOO WEIRD TO BE A CARNIVAL PRIZE--
But oh, whoop. Good thing his reflexes are wild as hell. Even though he's at a technical disadvantage because he has to unsheathe his blade, he moves with such practiced ease and fluidity that he withdraws it in a breath to block. There's the sound of metal on metal. Despite being a fuckin demon sword, Muramasa is just here, vibing.]
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The good reflexes are appreciated more than they surprise him. Sakyou seemed like a very skilled swordsman, so. Riku is glad? This was all expected? Which is why he was a gremlin and tried to attack.]
Not bad.
[This stupid ass sword. He presses down onto it with the keyblade a bit, adding a lil pointed pressure. LIL BINCH.]
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Anyway glad Riku is having a good time with this. Do not test him in a battle of sheer strength though, these scrawny otome arms can lift and wield swords that are almost 5 feet like he's just using a regularass wakizashi. SO HE PUSHES BACK, FUCKIN GREMLIN.]
I would not have survived this long if I was anything less.
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And also jostles him backward. He stumbles for half a step, and then catches himself, but continues leaping away and breaking their stalemate. Look, he has to be careful Sakyou isn't going to follow-up after he decided to be a little attack goblin.]
Is it something everyone has to do where you're from? Be a swordsman. They're passed down, aren't they? The swords. Or do you find the swords like you did? Can you only use them if your heart is strong?
[THEY AREN'T KEYBLADES, MORON.]
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Please understand that even though swords aren't keyblades, samurai ideals basically make them as such.]
No - samurai come from lineages of warriors. Not everyone can wield a blade. Many families - especially larger or more established ones - do pass along their swords, though. My-- real sword, Hotarumaru, is an heirloom. [THAT HE THREW AWAAAAAAY his guilt...] A wavering heart will affect one's ability to attack or defend, as well, so I would say that's true.
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I think I prefer the other one.
[Pointed look at the SWORD. Tch.]
I thought being the strongest was important. Wielding the Kingdom Key... I thought that meant being better and stronger all on my own.
But Sora took it back from me even after saying he didn't need a weapon. He had his friends. That keyblade just doesn't belong to me. It's not the one that belongs to my heart.
Soul Eater is.
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I do, as well.
[Get good Muramasa. Anyway this is hilarious WHY IS HIS KEYBLADE SO OMINOUS HELP. Sakyou just frowns a little because that name is a doozy??]
Is that this blade? [A nod toward his funky funky keyblade.]
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Yes.
[He lifts it up just enough to turn it so Sakyou can look. IT REALLY IS THE EDGY 2005 DEVIANTART WEAPON OF AN EDGY OC!!! ANGEL AND DEMON MOTIFS MIXING TOGETHER!! AN EYEBALL! this is still my favorite keyblade tho bc i too am an edgy 2005 da original character]
It looks a little different than it did before. I guess it changed as my heart changed.
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