Yeah...I'm relieved. Never sat right with me, people who got forced to do that stuff getting forced to some public death arena where they get forced to fight some more.
Well, guess I don't really talk about it 'cause it makes people either look at me like I'm not human or...like how you're lookin' at me. All sad. [and I don't know which is worse]
But...[he furrows his brow to think] one of the only things I really know about life is that there's people who fight and people who don't.
[he smiles, a little sadly and tiredly, and it's times like those where the dark circles under his eyes seem deeper than just sleep deprivation, where the impish spark in his golden eyes dulls]
No one asks ya to be a person who's gotta fight just to live, but once you have there's no sense in makin' other people do it, y'know? Doesn't seem fair for normal people to lose their normal lives.
We always dreamed about havin' a normal life. Doin' stuff like sleepin' in a warm bed, eatin' tasty food, playin' games with cute girls [he looks up to smile at her].
Always seemed kinda impossible, so it was just a nice thing to talk about, and then...something happened and Pochita had to save me. Thought that was that, but...he gave me his heart so I could have the normal life we'd dreamed about.
[denji's eyes water, just a bit along the lids as he looks down at pochita again] Sorry, buddy.
[ . . . she wants to cry. she wants to cry so badly but she doesn't, not when denji is the one suffering here. she won't be the one to break on him first, and so she'll just let her shoulders slump.]
... we'll get you back - you know that, don't you? I won't let you or Pochita be separated or gone for long. And then -
We'll get you that life you want. I promise. I'll find a way.
[now he reaches out a hand to her shoulder and gives it a tentative squeeze, offering support and comfort as best a sixteen year old whose main source of socialization was a chainsaw dog and a bunch of yakuza can]
Yeah, I got no worries in countin' on you and the others. Then maybe we can all hang out for even longer without bad stuff happening every week.
her heart is aching, terrified and fearful, but - in the face of comfort coming from a sixteen year old.... she offers up a smile. it's shaky, but it is sincere. he does make her smile.]
... then let's do that. We'll put on the calendar.
Any other requests? What else would you like, if you could have anything at all?
[the thought, such an overwhelmingly kind thing, causes him to blush and look away, fidgeting slightly]
I...I kinda learned my lesson about dreamin' too big. About wantin' too much and losin' what I already had. [he looks at pochita and there's a slight frown as his thoughts jumble up]
All the things I've done with you and rest of Winter has been more than I ever thought I'd get, so I just...I just wanna keep seeing you guys. I wanna keep bein' everyone's friend [if I can be that]
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week 6, post-trial
Denji!!
[the thoughts are a whirlwind, wild and angry: how could this happen, who did this, whodidthis]
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Oh! Hey Miss Iris!
Sorry 'bout your game. I think whoever stole my phone used it to break in and take your Switch too.
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[they'll need to explain themselves, they need to pay]
Are you alright? You're so calm, I just - I heard and....
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Least I'm used to it, y'know?
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No. No no no. I don't want you to be used to it, I want to protect you, I want to take your place, I want you to stay at home with all of us.]
... no. [just - a sad little whisper in comparison to her racing thoughts]
No, why - .... why would you say that?
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But...[he furrows his brow to think] one of the only things I really know about life is that there's people who fight and people who don't.
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[immediately, instantly, to refute whatever he said]
.... but why do you think you need to be a person who fights? Why do you think that has to be you?
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No one asks ya to be a person who's gotta fight just to live, but once you have there's no sense in makin' other people do it, y'know? Doesn't seem fair for normal people to lose their normal lives.
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... no, I disagree. You are just as entitled to a normal life as anyone, no matter what you've done, no matter what's happened to you.
You should be able to live happily, and peacefully, without hurting anyone - for as long as you want to.
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Well...I got to do that here for a whole long time, so that's been nice.
[pochita whines and reaches up so that denji can put him on his lap]
I feel like...this was more of the kinda life Pochita wanted me to have, so thanks for that.
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The kind of life Pochita wanted you to have...? What do you mean?
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We always dreamed about havin' a normal life. Doin' stuff like sleepin' in a warm bed, eatin' tasty food, playin' games with cute girls [he looks up to smile at her].
Always seemed kinda impossible, so it was just a nice thing to talk about, and then...something happened and Pochita had to save me. Thought that was that, but...he gave me his heart so I could have the normal life we'd dreamed about.
[denji's eyes water, just a bit along the lids as he looks down at pochita again] Sorry, buddy.
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... we'll get you back - you know that, don't you? I won't let you or Pochita be separated or gone for long. And then -
We'll get you that life you want. I promise. I'll find a way.
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Yeah, I got no worries in countin' on you and the others. Then maybe we can all hang out for even longer without bad stuff happening every week.
We could play games for, like, a week straight!
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You're too good for all of us, you know that?
her heart is aching, terrified and fearful, but - in the face of comfort coming from a sixteen year old.... she offers up a smile. it's shaky, but it is sincere. he does make her smile.]
... then let's do that. We'll put on the calendar.
Any other requests? What else would you like, if you could have anything at all?
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I...I kinda learned my lesson about dreamin' too big. About wantin' too much and losin' what I already had. [he looks at pochita and there's a slight frown as his thoughts jumble up]
All the things I've done with you and rest of Winter has been more than I ever thought I'd get, so I just...I just wanna keep seeing you guys. I wanna keep bein' everyone's friend [if I can be that]