I mean, I really regretted sellin' that ball before...now that I got both back wouldn't wanna lose it, ya know? It hurt like hell for a long time and was definitely extra miserable.
[also, with his free hand, he just...reaches out and takes one of hers?]
[he looks back for a while, then in a slightly more considered, serious tone]
Appreciate the offer, but think I'm gonna have to pass.
Don't think makin' more contracts is gonna do anything for my humanity anymore, and if Miss Makima can't save us from Hell, not sure if your extra power'd be enough to get us out safe.
Oh, I thought like, you were trappin' me here and we'd have to fight or whatever. [please ignore the spiritual chainsaw that had started floating into the doorframe behind him, it floats back away out of view]
[he gives her a grin, the kind only an overconfident youth with no reason to fear death can, but he shrugs and heads towards the door]
Well, in that case thanks for the chat, Swamp Devil. Better luck next time.
[but he...stops just short of the door, lingering]
Do you....know about the place we came from? Big school you can't leave filled with weekly scheduled murders?
What if I wanted to get everyone outta there? Even ones who disappeared and got put somewhere else. Send 'em all home. What would that cost? More than a ball, I'm guessin'.
I do. [...] It would take misery of an equal amount. If you have something that would match the agonies of a few dozen people, I would be willing to listen.
[he scratches his head] Dunno if I got anything as important as all that, but...
What about future misery? Say I have a few dozen really crappy things happen to me? Equal agony debt I gotta pay off.
[what's another lifelong debt, another string of miserable blows from an indifferent world—would it really hurt so much to go back to having nothing? less than nothing? hadn't he been greedy in these weeks here having everyone be so good to him without knowing the harm he's caused?]
[he sets the axe down, holding both hands to his head to wrack his stupid brain for something that might work, because now that this dumb noble idea has crossed his brain he can't just let it go without trying—he should've just left when he had the chance (or seen if she would take a ball for it, damn, he's bad at negotiating)
a light bulb goes off, and he finally turns around]
The vacation. The one with Miss Makima and Powie and Aki. I'll give it up. If all these people that're trapped with me in that school can all go home, I'll give it up.
[and Denji understands, somehow in that part of his brain that intuits and survives on instinctual perception instead of studied knowledge, that this would mean the vacation will never happen, that somehow it means that none will]
there is a door. there is a dirty, locked door in front of you, and you have been told to never open it. you follow these instructions, for some reason, even if you can't keep yourself from peeking through the peephole, sometimes. you don't open it.
except - this time, you do. this time, you open the door, and it's not what you're expecting.
it's a world on fire. it's - your world, on fire. there is no time to rest. there is no time for something simple like having a meal with the family you have pulled together. your little family of - nine? no. four. maybe more. your family that you have pulled together from high and low places, your family that loves you like you love them, your family that gives you some measure of purpose - you don't have time for this, anymore. for them. it was never about the vacation itself, not really.
(you take the exile. someone else's life is fixed. a halfling is reunited with her husband and son - or, no. that's not right. is it?)
... you drift apart, because it is necessary. the world is being ripped to shreds, and you have to stop it. this is your responsibility now.
but it wears on you. you are alone, these days. you're alone, and exhausted, and the world is unkind. you miss the people who loved you for you. you miss the people who didn't care about how good you could fight, but cared about your day or your life. it gets hard to care about what you're doing, without the promise of something normal at the end.
and so the world continues to die, and you lose what's left of yourself. you get vicious. you get cruel. and eventually, you lose the thing you never wanted to lose - your heart. you gave that away, you know? your family, your friends? you gave it away. you are no longer human, and it shows.
there's nothing left. so you rev your chainsaw, and you destroy the world yourself. you die, alone.
and then you wake up, in a grave. a familiar coat whips in the cold winter wind above your head, and it's the last thing you see.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[also, with his free hand, he just...reaches out and takes one of hers?]
no subject
If it is something you would be miserable to lose. [she says, dryly.]
no subject
Hmm...maybe...
What kinda power ya got, anyway? And how d'ya know all that stuff about me?
no subject
It is unimportant to the matter at hand.
no subject
Ah, see but I gotta know whether or not you can actually give me whatever it is you're promisin'.
This kinda thing doesn't come free, ya know?
no subject
You will just have to take the risk. [she's. gonna take her hand back? let go.]
no subject
You seem to know a lot of stuff: do ya think you need both balls in order to do it?
no subject
she just. gives him a long look. like, really long.]
no subject
Appreciate the offer, but think I'm gonna have to pass.
Don't think makin' more contracts is gonna do anything for my humanity anymore, and if Miss Makima can't save us from Hell, not sure if your extra power'd be enough to get us out safe.
no subject
That is your decision to make. [...] Go, then. And do not come back.
no subject
no subject
No. You would not be any sort of challenge, regardless.
no subject
Well, in that case thanks for the chat, Swamp Devil. Better luck next time.
[but he...stops just short of the door, lingering]
Do you....know about the place we came from? Big school you can't leave filled with weekly scheduled murders?
What if I wanted to get everyone outta there? Even ones who disappeared and got put somewhere else. Send 'em all home. What would that cost? More than a ball, I'm guessin'.
no subject
I do. [...] It would take misery of an equal amount. If you have something that would match the agonies of a few dozen people, I would be willing to listen.
no subject
What about future misery? Say I have a few dozen really crappy things happen to me? Equal agony debt I gotta pay off.
[what's another lifelong debt, another string of miserable blows from an indifferent world—would it really hurt so much to go back to having nothing? less than nothing? hadn't he been greedy in these weeks here having everyone be so good to him without knowing the harm he's caused?]
no subject
[she tilts her head.] It would not be a case of it happening to you. It would have to be given, willingly. Something that you would give me.
This is not a barter system where you hand me a terrible memory and you get a prize, Denji. It is a new misery. Something you lose, and hand to me.
no subject
[he sets the axe down, holding both hands to his head to wrack his stupid brain for something that might work, because now that this dumb noble idea has crossed his brain he can't just let it go without trying—he should've just left when he had the chance (or seen if she would take a ball for it, damn, he's bad at negotiating)
a light bulb goes off, and he finally turns around]
The vacation. The one with Miss Makima and Powie and Aki. I'll give it up. If all these people that're trapped with me in that school can all go home, I'll give it up.
[and Denji understands, somehow in that part of his brain that intuits and survives on instinctual perception instead of studied knowledge, that this would mean the vacation will never happen, that somehow it means that none will]
no subject
she tilts her head a little, and leans forward.]
I would find that acceptable.
no subject
Then it's a contract.
If you're not full of shit, you make it so that everyone goes home. And if they don't, I get my vacation back.
Deal?
no subject
[she says, holding out her hand in return. she will wait for him to take it.]
no subject
C'mon shake my hand don't make this weird.
no subject
time freezes.
there is a door. there is a dirty, locked door in front of you, and you have been told to never open it. you follow these instructions, for some reason, even if you can't keep yourself from peeking through the peephole, sometimes. you don't open it.
except - this time, you do. this time, you open the door, and it's not what you're expecting.
it's a world on fire. it's - your world, on fire. there is no time to rest. there is no time for something simple like having a meal with the family you have pulled together. your little family of - nine? no. four. maybe more. your family that you have pulled together from high and low places, your family that loves you like you love them, your family that gives you some measure of purpose - you don't have time for this, anymore. for them. it was never about the vacation itself, not really.
(you take the exile. someone else's life is fixed. a halfling is reunited with her husband and son - or, no. that's not right. is it?)
... you drift apart, because it is necessary. the world is being ripped to shreds, and you have to stop it. this is your responsibility now.
but it wears on you. you are alone, these days. you're alone, and exhausted, and the world is unkind. you miss the people who loved you for you. you miss the people who didn't care about how good you could fight, but cared about your day or your life. it gets hard to care about what you're doing, without the promise of something normal at the end.
and so the world continues to die, and you lose what's left of yourself. you get vicious. you get cruel. and eventually, you lose the thing you never wanted to lose - your heart. you gave that away, you know? your family, your friends? you gave it away. you are no longer human, and it shows.
there's nothing left. so you rev your chainsaw, and you destroy the world yourself. you die, alone.
and then you wake up, in a grave. a familiar coat whips in the cold winter wind above your head, and it's the last thing you see.]