[ she is being so nice to him? What did he do to deserve this. he doesnāt know. Ichiro smiles at her though, soft. a little shyer than usual, but itās there. ] Heh. Youāve got a lot of confidence in me. [ Iāll do what I can to not let you down.
she can't help it, he is. so she just smiles a bit at that, and scoots back a little now that they're not talking about something quite so intense. she said she'd wait for his answer - so she'll be as good as she can.]
... I'm feeling a little nostalgic - not quite homesick, but something like it.
Can I tell you about some people I have on my mind?
[ oh. thatās easy enough. the cute definitely makes him fluster a little, and he mutters an āah, jeezā out loud, though itās just embarrassed. ]
Yeah, course. Iām all ears. [ and heāll settle in to listen! ] Hit me.
[ . . . . she hesitates, for about half a second, worrying her lip - before she hopes that maybe... just maybe, this could be a gentle workaround.]
... I have a friend who's very important to me. And I was just talking to someone else... about how I want to visit his home, if I could get the chance. It's silly - because it's not really my home... but it's a place like it. And the way that he talks about it makes me want to see it. Like if I could just step foot in it, it'd be like finding another place to belong.
Especially because he talks about his own family a lot - and I love my family, I do, but my relationship with my brother isn't always good. Though we do try. So I've just... been thinking about him, and his brothers for a bit.
[tentative, cautious. no major details, and nothing that could theoretically strike any painful spots but... for now, she doesn't keep going, watching ichiro curiously and a little sheepishly.
if he doesn't remember his family, could she try to give them back to him? could she prove that no matter what, he'll feel a fondness for his own life - his own story?]
[ brothers, again. that topic just keeps coming up, doesn't it? it feels like he's skirting around something dangerous, trying to avoid giving himself a migraine. the more he thinks about it, the more it hurts his head.
but god, he wants it to be real. that emptiness is so frustrating - something should be there. has he ever been anything but lonely?
must be nice, he thinks. ] ...you should probably go visit, if we can. Seems like a good idea to me.
she reaches out again briefly, just to poke in the center of his forehead. It will come back to you. It will be okay. certain and assured, soft and gentle, as if to try to keep his brow from furrowing any worse. before she pulls her hand back.]
... I want to. It depends on if he'd still have me, even if just as a visitor. I think I want to talk to him about it, when I get to speak with him next. [when he has all his memories together] We had a little bit of a... rough patch, last we spoke.
[ . . . ]
But I've been - trying. Really hard. Since then... [Even though it's scary. Even if sometimes I still want to cry, or not talk.] I wanted to tell him... thanks, for pushing me a little further. I reacted badly at the time, because I think I'm a little bullheaded and impossible.
... but he saved me. I think he ought to know. Do you think he'll be willing to listen?
[I'll have to say this again. That's okay. I'll say it every time.]
[ oh, the forehead poke makes him reflexively squint both of his eyes shut. they flutter back open after a second, full of their usual warmth. i'll grab it and find it and take it for myself, if i have to. if it's real.
as she keeps talking, some of that warmth shifts over into worry. he really is a good listener - it's one of his better traits, and he mulls over what iris says, thoughts sort of absently repeating some of the details about this strange person, before he puts his finger and thumb on his chin, thinking. ]
...Well... if it was me, I'd say it probably matters a lot, that you're trying. That's always important. [ no matter what, you have to try. even when shit is horrible, you have to try. that's been something he's kept close to his chest his entire life. ] I think I can be pretty bullheaded about shit, too. It's not something that goes away easy, and it definitely gets me in trouble.
[ that and his temper - but those two things definitely go hand in hand. ]
But, yeah. He'd probably be an ass, if he didn't. [ his nose wrinkles, a little. She's pretty nice. He better listen or I'll throw hands. ] How'd he save you? By pushing you?
how he makes her heart ache and fond at the same time is beyond her. she sits with him on this blanket outside their home, in the last remains of daylight with the setting sun, and when she looks at him it is with a gentle amusement and an overwhelming adoration. he doesn't even know and yet -
You are so easy to adore.
and hasn't that been the source of all their problems? where all their problems, and all their hope sand dreams align. like two puzzle pieces that picked an awful time to be put together.]
... by being himself, mostly.
[Never needed to be more, or different.]
And by staying.
I'm a pretty determined person, you know. I can survive anything, I think - as long as he doesn't leave.
[ with those thoughts, with the words that come out of her mouth? it really is pretty shoujo. his smile's pretty genuine - he doesn't really know anything about love, or anything like that, but it's always a nice thing to see. other people's stories have always been a comfort to him.
he's sure gonna have a lot to deal with when his memories come back! that's fine. ] It's... it's good to rely on other people, even if you're strong, you know? It's gotta be. Nice to find strength in others to make yours better.
[ . . . she pauses at that, though she recovers fast.]
... I'm very fond of him, but it's become more complicated than I'd like. I don't know if I want to talk about it though.
[There is an art to pushing one's luck.
even if she doesn't mind chatting with him like this, passing on messages that she wants him to have sooner rather than later, she doesn't think that they should get into the nitty gritty of everything. it would be too cruel, when he doesn't realize what they're talking about him.]
... I've always found that to be scary, though. I'm not used to having people to rely on - not like that. I think it's one of those things I'm actually not very good at... and it was hard to think I could get better.
But... I'm trying not to be so frightened that I stay still, anymore.
[ he just thinks oof and winces a little sympathetically. sorry, iris... sounds complicated, yeah.
but, ichiro is oblivious to the fact this is about him, so he is clearly more than happy to move on as iris is comfortable? (he would be more than happy to move on normally, probably, too, but that is besides the point.) ]
That's good. Gotta try and struggle forward, right? Trying is always better. [ a beat. ] It probably doesn't mean much coming from me since we just met, but I'm proud of you for doing something like that.
[the thought and wince manage to get her to laugh actually.... yeah. yeah! sometimes that is exactly why you try to stop things from getting complicated but -
sometimes it happens anyway, despite all attempts.]
[there is just a brief, slightly tired we can't keep doing this before she smiles. they cannot keep falling into this cycle with each other - even if it's almost funny how easy it is for them to.]
I hope you'll continue to say that.
[a beat]
I'm feeling a little hungry. Do you want to make snacks with me? I've been trying out some Italian recipes lately.
[ that thought just gets projected back is a ??? because he has absolutely no idea what that means. doing what, hanging out? they just met? (it does stir something in the back of his head - something not quite anxious, but like something pacing.) heās not sure why he wouldnāt continue to say so.
...he ignores it for now, though, and offers her a smile. ] Oh, sure! I can cook an Italian dish or two. [ it immediately conjures the image of a plate of pescatore he made - though, he couldnāt tell you why. later, maybe, heāll remember itās saburoās favorite. ] Long as you can handle the mincing. [ as he wiggles his still pretty fucked up fingers. no motion for you. ]
[she automatically reaching out for his fingers with her own - though it's mostly just so she can get a good look at them and how they're healing. there's a huff.]
You're impossible... Of course I'll handle the mincing - you need to be careful.
[but she'll pull her hand away quickly after, nodding as she moves to her feet]
I was trying my hand at semifreddo and cannoli... ["they both really like Italian flavors" echoes in her head briefly - ] So let's make dinner and dessert?
[ well, he doesn't mind. he lets her take his hand if she wants! it seems his range of motion is still well and truly fucked on his right side. sometimes bad things happen when you almost lose your arm. ]
I am, I am. Learning how to do things with my left hand and everything. [ its been a little weird, but he's better at it than expected, at least? and the pain isn't really bothering him as much anymore. he'd rather not use a heal on himself, especially with people coming back mauled every week.
the thought - he's not sure who they both are, but he returns the smile and starts to get up, too, pushing himself up to his feet and brushing himself off. ] Dinner and dessert. Sounds like a plan.
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and - oh! the request. that surprises him. ]
...oh. Sure, yeah. Whatās up?
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Cute.
she can't help it, he is. so she just smiles a bit at that, and scoots back a little now that they're not talking about something quite so intense. she said she'd wait for his answer - so she'll be as good as she can.]
... I'm feeling a little nostalgic - not quite homesick, but something like it.
Can I tell you about some people I have on my mind?
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Yeah, course. Iām all ears. [ and heāll settle in to listen! ] Hit me.
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... I have a friend who's very important to me. And I was just talking to someone else... about how I want to visit his home, if I could get the chance. It's silly - because it's not really my home... but it's a place like it. And the way that he talks about it makes me want to see it. Like if I could just step foot in it, it'd be like finding another place to belong.
Especially because he talks about his own family a lot - and I love my family, I do, but my relationship with my brother isn't always good. Though we do try. So I've just... been thinking about him, and his brothers for a bit.
[tentative, cautious. no major details, and nothing that could theoretically strike any painful spots but... for now, she doesn't keep going, watching ichiro curiously and a little sheepishly.
if he doesn't remember his family, could she try to give them back to him? could she prove that no matter what, he'll feel a fondness for his own life - his own story?]
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but god, he wants it to be real. that emptiness is so frustrating - something should be there. has he ever been anything but lonely?
must be nice, he thinks. ] ...you should probably go visit, if we can. Seems like a good idea to me.
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she reaches out again briefly, just to poke in the center of his forehead. It will come back to you. It will be okay. certain and assured, soft and gentle, as if to try to keep his brow from furrowing any worse. before she pulls her hand back.]
... I want to. It depends on if he'd still have me, even if just as a visitor. I think I want to talk to him about it, when I get to speak with him next. [when he has all his memories together] We had a little bit of a... rough patch, last we spoke.
[ . . . ]
But I've been - trying. Really hard. Since then... [Even though it's scary. Even if sometimes I still want to cry, or not talk.] I wanted to tell him... thanks, for pushing me a little further. I reacted badly at the time, because I think I'm a little bullheaded and impossible.
... but he saved me. I think he ought to know. Do you think he'll be willing to listen?
[I'll have to say this again. That's okay. I'll say it every time.]
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as she keeps talking, some of that warmth shifts over into worry. he really is a good listener - it's one of his better traits, and he mulls over what iris says, thoughts sort of absently repeating some of the details about this strange person, before he puts his finger and thumb on his chin, thinking. ]
...Well... if it was me, I'd say it probably matters a lot, that you're trying. That's always important. [ no matter what, you have to try. even when shit is horrible, you have to try. that's been something he's kept close to his chest his entire life. ] I think I can be pretty bullheaded about shit, too. It's not something that goes away easy, and it definitely gets me in trouble.
[ that and his temper - but those two things definitely go hand in hand. ]
But, yeah. He'd probably be an ass, if he didn't. [ his nose wrinkles, a little. She's pretty nice. He better listen or I'll throw hands. ] How'd he save you? By pushing you?
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how he makes her heart ache and fond at the same time is beyond her. she sits with him on this blanket outside their home, in the last remains of daylight with the setting sun, and when she looks at him it is with a gentle amusement and an overwhelming adoration. he doesn't even know and yet -
You are so easy to adore.
and hasn't that been the source of all their problems? where all their problems, and all their hope sand dreams align. like two puzzle pieces that picked an awful time to be put together.]
... by being himself, mostly.
[Never needed to be more, or different.]
And by staying.
I'm a pretty determined person, you know. I can survive anything, I think - as long as he doesn't leave.
I'm starting to believe maybe he won't.
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Sounds like you really like the guy.
[ with those thoughts, with the words that come out of her mouth? it really is pretty shoujo. his smile's pretty genuine - he doesn't really know anything about love, or anything like that, but it's always a nice thing to see. other people's stories have always been a comfort to him.
he's sure gonna have a lot to deal with when his memories come back! that's fine. ] It's... it's good to rely on other people, even if you're strong, you know? It's gotta be. Nice to find strength in others to make yours better.
[ he wouldn't know, but... he can only imagine. ]
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... I'm very fond of him, but it's become more complicated than I'd like. I don't know if I want to talk about it though.
[There is an art to pushing one's luck.
even if she doesn't mind chatting with him like this, passing on messages that she wants him to have sooner rather than later, she doesn't think that they should get into the nitty gritty of everything. it would be too cruel, when he doesn't realize what they're talking about him.]
... I've always found that to be scary, though. I'm not used to having people to rely on - not like that. I think it's one of those things I'm actually not very good at... and it was hard to think I could get better.
But... I'm trying not to be so frightened that I stay still, anymore.
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but, ichiro is oblivious to the fact this is about him, so he is clearly more than happy to move on as iris is comfortable? (he would be more than happy to move on normally, probably, too, but that is besides the point.) ]
That's good. Gotta try and struggle forward, right? Trying is always better. [ a beat. ] It probably doesn't mean much coming from me since we just met, but I'm proud of you for doing something like that.
[ cause... he gets that. what it means to try. ]
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sometimes it happens anyway, despite all attempts.]
... it means more than you think.
Hearing it from you makes me very happy.
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...'m glad, then. [ flustered. ] I'm rooting for you, okay?
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I hope you'll continue to say that.
[a beat]
I'm feeling a little hungry. Do you want to make snacks with me? I've been trying out some Italian recipes lately.
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...he ignores it for now, though, and offers her a smile. ] Oh, sure! I can cook an Italian dish or two. [ it immediately conjures the image of a plate of pescatore he made - though, he couldnāt tell you why. later, maybe, heāll remember itās saburoās favorite. ] Long as you can handle the mincing. [ as he wiggles his still pretty fucked up fingers. no motion for you. ]
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You're impossible... Of course I'll handle the mincing - you need to be careful.
[but she'll pull her hand away quickly after, nodding as she moves to her feet]
I was trying my hand at semifreddo and cannoli... ["they both really like Italian flavors" echoes in her head briefly - ] So let's make dinner and dessert?
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I am, I am. Learning how to do things with my left hand and everything. [ its been a little weird, but he's better at it than expected, at least? and the pain isn't really bothering him as much anymore. he'd rather not use a heal on himself, especially with people coming back mauled every week.
the thought - he's not sure who they both are, but he returns the smile and starts to get up, too, pushing himself up to his feet and brushing himself off. ] Dinner and dessert. Sounds like a plan.