So you'll throw your fist at a wall and have it so that the only person you injure is yourself? Is that meant to be a good example too? So that people learn that it is alright if the only victim of their temper is themselves - that it's okay, if their body is the only one to suffer?
[she shakes her head quietly even as her fingers continue to work in their diligent bandaging]
I don't think I'd like children to learn that either - to not value themselves and their well-being. I don't like to hear how little you seem to value yourself.
I am not saying that you ought to let your anger burn wildly - I think you can hone it, concentrate it, make sure only the people and things that deserve to be set aflame are.
But you needn't be ashamed of how much you care, nor how much you feel. I'd said anger is simply another manifestation of conviction, didn't I?
[ for a moment he just looks at her while she's talking, now, eyes a little wide, searching viola's face. not really sure what he's looking for, either - just processing every word, because it's not something anyone's really pointed out to him before. the big brother has to be there to protect. the big brother has to do everything and anything to keep the little brothers safe. the big brother has to do every dirty job to save money. has to face the baddest bullies, the toughest foes, the most dangerous problems. for them, every moment of suffering had been worth it - so it makes logical sense, that if he's gonna lose his temper, he might as well do it in the solitude of the quiet corner around the gym wall instead of near someone else. his first, gut instinct answer is better a wall than someone else's face, because it's never about causing himself pain, it's about causing it to someone else, instead.
it's a different mindset. he's quiet for a long while afterwards, his shoulders finally starting to come down from where he was hunched up, and eventually, the corner of his mouth lifts back up, in a small, humorless smile, his voice just a little wry. ]
.. if I figure out how to do that, [ how to hone it, concentrate it outside of his music - that's the easiest place, but even then that slips away, sometimes, ] then I'll let you know.
[ but, he shakes his head to clear it, and responds, more seriously. ] ... I get what you mean. It's... I just don't want to hurt anyone if I don't have to.
[ ichiro huffs. ] ....Guess that should include me, huh.
Yes, that should include you. [gently, but she'll move to secure the bandages around his knuckles in place. there's the sound of the smile in her voice before it spreads across her lips, fond and amused] Because it turns out that I don't take kindly to when anyone hurts you, even yourself. So what shall I do for your punishment, I wonder...
[she sounds too pleased to be able to deal one out? she just decided this? viola. but at least it's just lightly teasing
her hand lifts and moves to rest on his shoulder, as if she'll press out the harsh bunched up wrinkles and tension herself.]
.... sometimes, when I am so furious I cannot see, I think of how satisfying it will be when I win with a smile on my face. To know that my conviction is stronger than that which tests me - even if it is only long enough until I can find another way to release my anger without hurting myself.
You can do it, Ichiro. But remember that you're human too, so it's alright you you slip sometimes - there are plenty of people who care for you enough to catch you.
That's also the beauty of being someone that people watch. No one will let you hit the ground - at least, I certainly won't.
[ for a moment, ichiro glances down at his newly bandaged knuckles, and then up in time to see viola's smile. it's sort of new to be cared for like this. ichiro's the care taker, and always has been - so to have someone looking out for his well being in such a way is almost novel. almost jarring. he does look almost a little surprised at the word punishment, eyes going almost comically round for a second before he realizes she's just teasing and closes them again, a smile tugging at the edge of his mouth, half at his own stupidity and half at the tease itself.
his muscles are tense, under her hands, but he does lower them, a little, as if viola's touch is magic enough to push them down, and he ducks his head, boyish, cheeks flushing red. that's really... ]
...thanks, Vi-chan. [ for the advice, for the bandages, maybe for the needed scolding... but for the support, too. for a lot of things. ] I'll try and keep that in mind. All of it.
[ah - that's good. her smiles grows more at that and she pulls her hand back, curling her fingers gently against her own palm. she's not a very tactile person and it was easy to feel like she was overstepping, but it seems to have helped. it's enough to get her to relax some.]
Of course. I told you that I intend to look after you - persistently, at that. It's my duty as well as my joy.
[so she'll squeeze his hand - gently, and nowhere near where he's injured - before moving to let go.]
At least if you forget, I'll always be near to remind you. How lucky my patience is vast.
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no subject
So you'll throw your fist at a wall and have it so that the only person you injure is yourself? Is that meant to be a good example too? So that people learn that it is alright if the only victim of their temper is themselves - that it's okay, if their body is the only one to suffer?
[she shakes her head quietly even as her fingers continue to work in their diligent bandaging]
I don't think I'd like children to learn that either - to not value themselves and their well-being. I don't like to hear how little you seem to value yourself.
I am not saying that you ought to let your anger burn wildly - I think you can hone it, concentrate it, make sure only the people and things that deserve to be set aflame are.
But you needn't be ashamed of how much you care, nor how much you feel. I'd said anger is simply another manifestation of conviction, didn't I?
no subject
it's a different mindset. he's quiet for a long while afterwards, his shoulders finally starting to come down from where he was hunched up, and eventually, the corner of his mouth lifts back up, in a small, humorless smile, his voice just a little wry. ]
.. if I figure out how to do that, [ how to hone it, concentrate it outside of his music - that's the easiest place, but even then that slips away, sometimes, ] then I'll let you know.
[ but, he shakes his head to clear it, and responds, more seriously. ] ... I get what you mean. It's... I just don't want to hurt anyone if I don't have to.
[ ichiro huffs. ] ....Guess that should include me, huh.
no subject
[she sounds too pleased to be able to deal one out? she just decided this? viola. but at least it's just lightly teasing
her hand lifts and moves to rest on his shoulder, as if she'll press out the harsh bunched up wrinkles and tension herself.]
.... sometimes, when I am so furious I cannot see, I think of how satisfying it will be when I win with a smile on my face. To know that my conviction is stronger than that which tests me - even if it is only long enough until I can find another way to release my anger without hurting myself.
You can do it, Ichiro. But remember that you're human too, so it's alright you you slip sometimes - there are plenty of people who care for you enough to catch you.
That's also the beauty of being someone that people watch. No one will let you hit the ground - at least, I certainly won't.
no subject
his muscles are tense, under her hands, but he does lower them, a little, as if viola's touch is magic enough to push them down, and he ducks his head, boyish, cheeks flushing red. that's really... ]
...thanks, Vi-chan. [ for the advice, for the bandages, maybe for the needed scolding... but for the support, too. for a lot of things. ] I'll try and keep that in mind. All of it.
no subject
Of course. I told you that I intend to look after you - persistently, at that. It's my duty as well as my joy.
[so she'll squeeze his hand - gently, and nowhere near where he's injured - before moving to let go.]
At least if you forget, I'll always be near to remind you. How lucky my patience is vast.