I see... ... Then may you find someone who can help you untangle it, Mandricardo. At the very least, I will continue wish you well, even if it is not something I can help with. Please know I wish I could.
"Stuck in" has a certain implication... I think it'd be simpler to say that I find it difficult to get out of bed for too long.
Hmm... How do I say this.... It's not that I take any offense, and I certainly don't regard it to be anything personal. But if this weekend has created circumstances in which a certain distance is best imposed between us, I'll be a little disappointed - But I do understand. In truth, it is more surprising that you reached out to me at all. So I will consider that to be something to be happy over as is.
To certain degrees, yes. It's embarrassing to admit, but I have collapsed rather suddenly before. I don't recall screaming but... well, perhaps I was startled.
i will be frank with you. and you have been nice to me, which is why i'm saying this all now
its hard trying to sort through all this stuff. it feels like a storm inside my head. i expected one thing and now we're made to go through a trial where they already knew the answer like its some kind of sick entertainment at our expense
and all the dorm heads are gone. we were told you were sick, but all at the same time? don't you find that strange?
and then at that expulsion it was like seeing people being played with like they were pieces in a chess game
there's something going on here about this school that i'm terrified of and i'm worried that you're being kept blind to it. intentionally
[well, there is a slight delay before a message comes in - ]
Thank you, Mandricardo. I mean it. I feel better when you're honest with me, storm and all.
[another short delay, and then another response]
I've received a number of emails today, and some of them have given me things to think about. If certain things that could be easily explained as coincidences, are not coincidences, and in truth... Right now, I'm not sure. My head is spinning a bit too. None of this has happened on this campus before - at least, not in recent history.
But thank you for telling me. I wish you didn't have reason to be scared - but at the very least, communicating a problem can be the first step toward addressing it.
[What does he believe? This seems sincere. But maybe its a ruse. Maybe someone is tugging him along, and then it turns out to be something worse, something manipulative, just like this whole school turned out to be.]
[It takes him a moment to reply, too.]
hey
will you be available tomorrow?
to meet in person, that is. i know its weird for an introvert like me to ask for that
If you still wish for my time, then certainly it is yours. Our schedules are finally clear starting tomorrow, and hopefully we'll all be back on our feet. I'd be happy to meet you.
Then I'll look forward to it. I'll make sure I'm well-rested enough to see you.
Yes, I agree - mostly I want to spend time with everyone. A bit of a selfish things perhaps, but... you've all still chosen to speak with me. So I think I'll consider that a blessing.
Hehe, I think so too. Everyone is awfully kind. It's very important to me that you're all good to each other - so I'm glad you are.
Well... as a Dorm Head who is understandably under a reasonable amount of suspicion, given everything. I don't see why a murder would happen again - but it happening at all during this already unprecedented situation is odd. I don't blame anyone who doesn't trust us, so long as people are still polite to the others. I'm used to certain amounts of scrutiny, but.... I hate obligation. I don't want people to feel like they have to interact with me just because I want to talk to them. That kind of position.
Yes. I understand people might want to be polite - I know you must have wanted to be polite to me. To not cast suspicion or make me feel as though I'm a criminal when I'm similarly confused. I think that's very kind. People here really are very nice.
And I can dance around subjects, and partake in political dances - I just don't really... want to. It's why I left the capital in the first place.
So... I'd rather people are only nice to me if they mean it. Or if they want to be nice and suspicious of me at the same time, that's fine. I just don't want to have to pretend I can't tell.
regardless i think i understand. i think we're all confused right now. and yeah i don't want to say that i'm not shaken by this whole business. there's a lot here that seems to be going on behind the scenes. we're not being told everything
but i want to give you the benefit of the doubt. and i'm not the best liar here. i'd rather just say it but i don't want to hit you over the head with it. i'm suspicious, but i really don't seriously think you're the cause of this mess or you're trying to give me the run-around.
either way i think your feelings are valid. i think its hard not knowing whether people are nice to be nice or nice for ulterior purposes. its easy to believe either
Consider it something of a family affair. I study political science for many reasons - but I cannot deny one of them is part of my own survival. Even if I really don't care for things like that...
But no - you're correct, Mandricardo. And I really do consider you a kind and honest person for speaking candidly with me. I appreciate it, I do.
I'll simply try to shake off my nerves and face you all as confidently as I can. It's the least I can do.
I wonder if I'm making it sound a bit dramatic... Survival in the sense that missteps staining my family's name would warrant banishment or other forms of isolation. Though I suppose that in certain circles, I wouldn't be surprised if my life was on the line.
Hehe, then know that I think you can do it too. Let's key word try together, then. Try together and succeed together!
that sounds like a big deal?? i mean i was royalty so i know the weight of a name and a family line but this is kind of shocking to hear the same about a family in government.
yeah lets try together but also i don't want you sticking your neck out when its dangerous?
Old money holds onto a few traditions similar to royalty, I suppose. But I simply need to learn enough to stay afloat and hope no one will bother me, so that's what I'll do.
I don't consider it sticking my neck out... Rather, I think that I've been entrusted with the care of certain people - those in my dorm in particular. And so for them, I would like to do my very best. I'll assess all risks seriously but... I also feel a certain duty.
well i hope you get out of that and live your life how you want structure can be rigid and stifling i mean look at me i became an adventurer instead of a king
and i understand that duty is important its like hector, one of the nine worthies, a man who had honor, devotion, and chivalry, fighting to the bitter end for his people duty is a sacred thing. so while i don't want you to be in danger. good on you
there were several reasons the main one was finding out exactly how my father died but another was that i wasn't the best king. i ruled with an iron fist. i just saw it as a way to exercise my power. it was cruel of me but at the time it was rather stifling, too so when i left to sort out affairs it was very freeing. i even left incognito without telling anyone, and never looked back
if we wanted to talk about hector we would be here all day seriously he's a fascinating man
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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like you implied. i just have a mess i don't know if you can untangle
yeah they said they heard one
were you just stuck in your room the whole time?
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...
Then may you find someone who can help you untangle it, Mandricardo.
At the very least, I will continue wish you well, even if it is not something I can help with.
Please know I wish I could.
"Stuck in" has a certain implication...
I think it'd be simpler to say that I find it difficult to get out of bed for too long.
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i'm too much for people to deal with on a regular basis. i don't want to rant at you
has that ever happened before? where you've overworked yourself?
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It's not that I take any offense, and I certainly don't regard it to be anything personal.
But if this weekend has created circumstances in which a certain distance is best imposed between us, I'll be a little disappointed -
But I do understand. In truth, it is more surprising that you reached out to me at all.
So I will consider that to be something to be happy over as is.
To certain degrees, yes. It's embarrassing to admit, but I have collapsed rather suddenly before.
I don't recall screaming but... well, perhaps I was startled.
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viola
i will be frank with you. and you have been nice to me, which is why i'm saying this all now
its hard trying to sort through all this stuff. it feels like a storm inside my head. i expected one thing and now we're made to go through a trial where they already knew the answer like its some kind of sick entertainment at our expense
and all the dorm heads are gone. we were told you were sick, but all at the same time? don't you find that strange?
and then at that expulsion it was like seeing people being played with like they were pieces in a chess game
there's something going on here about this school that i'm terrified of and i'm worried that you're being kept blind to it. intentionally
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Thank you, Mandricardo.
I mean it.
I feel better when you're honest with me, storm and all.
[another short delay, and then another response]
I've received a number of emails today, and some of them have given me things to think about.
If certain things that could be easily explained as coincidences, are not coincidences, and in truth...
Right now, I'm not sure.
My head is spinning a bit too. None of this has happened on this campus before - at least, not in recent history.
But thank you for telling me.
I wish you didn't have reason to be scared - but at the very least, communicating a problem can be the first step toward addressing it.
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[What does he believe? This seems sincere. But maybe its a ruse. Maybe someone is tugging him along, and then it turns out to be something worse, something manipulative, just like this whole school turned out to be.]
[It takes him a moment to reply, too.]
hey
will you be available tomorrow?
to meet in person, that is. i know its weird for an introvert like me to ask for that
but somehow i want to talk to you face to face
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Our schedules are finally clear starting tomorrow, and hopefully we'll all be back on our feet.
I'd be happy to meet you.
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it's good things will be easier for you
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I'll make sure I'm well-rested enough to see you.
Yes, I agree - mostly I want to spend time with everyone.
A bit of a selfish things perhaps, but... you've all still chosen to speak with me.
So I think I'll consider that a blessing.
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like we all need interaction
even a gloomy guy like me deep down wishes i could just go out and talk to others whenever. i think that's part of being human
so its good
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It means I got a chance to speak to you.
But given the position I'm in, it feels... selfish.
Or perhaps I'm just nervous, and calling it selfish feels a little easier.
Perhaps a bit of both.
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but what do you mean by that the "position you're in".
like i said its fine. and even if it is selfish in people's eyes so what? being hungry is selfish. needing people is selfish. that isn't bad
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Everyone is awfully kind. It's very important to me that you're all good to each other - so I'm glad you are.
Well... as a Dorm Head who is understandably under a reasonable amount of suspicion, given everything.
I don't see why a murder would happen again - but it happening at all during this already unprecedented situation is odd.
I don't blame anyone who doesn't trust us, so long as people are still polite to the others.
I'm used to certain amounts of scrutiny, but.... I hate obligation.
I don't want people to feel like they have to interact with me just because I want to talk to them.
That kind of position.
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because of this situation, you feel like you're going to be putting people in a bad position if you want to talk to them
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I understand people might want to be polite - I know you must have wanted to be polite to me.
To not cast suspicion or make me feel as though I'm a criminal when I'm similarly confused.
I think that's very kind. People here really are very nice.
And I can dance around subjects, and partake in political dances -
I just don't really... want to.
It's why I left the capital in the first place.
So... I'd rather people are only nice to me if they mean it.
Or if they want to be nice and suspicious of me at the same time, that's fine.
I just don't want to have to pretend I can't tell.
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regardless i think i understand. i think we're all confused right now. and yeah i don't want to say that i'm not shaken by this whole business. there's a lot here that seems to be going on behind the scenes. we're not being told everything
but i want to give you the benefit of the doubt. and i'm not the best liar here. i'd rather just say it but i don't want to hit you over the head with it. i'm suspicious, but i really don't seriously think you're the cause of this mess or you're trying to give me the run-around.
either way i think your feelings are valid. i think its hard not knowing whether people are nice to be nice or nice for ulterior purposes. its easy to believe either
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I study political science for many reasons - but I cannot deny one of them is part of my own survival.
Even if I really don't care for things like that...
But no - you're correct, Mandricardo. And I really do consider you a kind and honest person for speaking candidly with me.
I appreciate it, I do.
I'll simply try to shake off my nerves and face you all as confidently as I can.
It's the least I can do.
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well i'm trying to do the same. key word trying. don't have a lot of confidence here
i think you can do it though
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Survival in the sense that missteps staining my family's name would warrant banishment or other forms of isolation.
Though I suppose that in certain circles, I wouldn't be surprised if my life was on the line.
Hehe, then know that I think you can do it too.
Let's key word try together, then. Try together and succeed together!
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that sounds like a big deal?? i mean i was royalty so i know the weight of a name and a family line but this is kind of shocking to hear the same about a family in government.
yeah lets try together but also i don't want you sticking your neck out when its dangerous?
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But I simply need to learn enough to stay afloat and hope no one will bother me, so that's what I'll do.
I don't consider it sticking my neck out...
Rather, I think that I've been entrusted with the care of certain people - those in my dorm in particular.
And so for them, I would like to do my very best. I'll assess all risks seriously but... I also feel a certain duty.
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structure can be rigid and stifling
i mean look at me i became an adventurer instead of a king
and i understand that
duty is important
its like hector, one of the nine worthies, a man who had honor, devotion, and chivalry, fighting to the bitter end for his people
duty is a sacred thing. so while i don't want you to be in danger. good on you
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Of adventuring over your throne?
Hehe, thank you - I'm glad that you understand.
I don't know much about this Hector individual. Could you tell me more about him?
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the main one was finding out exactly how my father died
but another was that i wasn't the best king. i ruled with an iron fist. i just saw it as a way to exercise my power. it was cruel of me but at the time it was rather stifling, too
so when i left to sort out affairs it was very freeing. i even left incognito without telling anyone, and never looked back
if we wanted to talk about hector
we would be here all day seriously he's a fascinating man
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