... It's okay to not be okay, Luke. Talk to people.
[There's silence on the line, trying to figure out just how much he wants to say.
A sigh, and then he begins speaking again.]
We were made to believe we were a family of serial killers. We killed Nier and Lila there. Probably more people we were plannin' on. Just... fully under that place's control. Like it was the only life we'd ever known.
It still feels real, even now. Everythin' we did.
I hated it. I still hate it. I should be the only person in control of my thoughts 'nd actions.
I agree. I'd hate to not be in control of myself. [This is very funny.] I don't... know where you went, or why. But I'm sorry you had to go through it.
And that... I didn't know it was as bad as it was sooner.
I know. I... should have been more persistent. Or... I should have just assumed it was worse than any of you would say after how you all came out. I was stupid.
[He's quiet for a long moment. He's thinking about getting into an argument with Hope over the varying levels of what event is worse than another.
His voice is lower when he speaks.]
Last year, I... was taking a class that turned out to be harder than I thought. I was failing, so... I decided to cheat to try to pass it. But I got caught, and I failed it anyway.
[He doesn't understand this concept but, he does understand that it's something Luke is not proud of. Bradley is not one for regrets or to dwell on the past. What use is there in stewing with regret?
There are things that can change with magic, but the past? Nobody can fix that.]
When ya fuck up the only thing you can do is own it and try to be better. How d'ya think that's goin', kiddo?
[ Sometimes you make the executive decision to put all your regrets in a box, shove that box to the very back of your mind and then go on with your life.
He might be 600+ but why would he waste his time that way? There are better things to put his thoughts towards. ]
Slow ain't bad. Means it's happening at all. Some people don't change despite everythin' happening around them. What's that sayin'? The start is the hardest.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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... It's okay to not be okay, Luke. Talk to people.
[There's silence on the line, trying to figure out just how much he wants to say.
A sigh, and then he begins speaking again.]
We were made to believe we were a family of serial killers. We killed Nier and Lila there. Probably more people we were plannin' on. Just... fully under that place's control. Like it was the only life we'd ever known.
It still feels real, even now. Everythin' we did.
I hated it. I still hate it. I should be the only person in control of my thoughts 'nd actions.
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[Talking to people. And admitting he isn't okay.]
I agree. I'd hate to not be in control of myself. [This is very funny.] I don't... know where you went, or why. But I'm sorry you had to go through it.
And that... I didn't know it was as bad as it was sooner.
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[luke. (riku). buddy.]
How were ya supposed to know? We were withholdin' information. You had enough t' worry about.
[He's fairly certain he didn't want to talk about this either.]
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[listen,]
I know. I... should have been more persistent. Or... I should have just assumed it was worse than any of you would say after how you all came out. I was stupid.
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I didn't want to add to it.
[wow this forced emotion sharing thing sucks!]
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[There's a sigh.]
It's okay.
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Am I still part of Fall if I got "expelled"?
[He is sensing an out and he is going to take it.]
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Shut up.
[It sounds wry.]
Of course. I'd be a hypocrite if I threw you out after what happened to me last year.
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Glad to stay.
What happened?
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His voice is lower when he speaks.]
Last year, I... was taking a class that turned out to be harder than I thought. I was failing, so... I decided to cheat to try to pass it. But I got caught, and I failed it anyway.
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There are things that can change with magic, but the past? Nobody can fix that.]
When ya fuck up the only thing you can do is own it and try to be better. How d'ya think that's goin', kiddo?
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...slower than I'd like. But I guess you have to start somewhere.
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He might be 600+ but why would he waste his time that way? There are better things to put his thoughts towards. ]
Slow ain't bad. Means it's happening at all. Some people don't change despite everythin' happening around them. What's that sayin'? The start is the hardest.
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...
[He's quiet on his end of the line, but it isn't a bad quiet at all. It sounds like maybe there's a bit of a tiny, tiny smile in his voice.]
Yeah, that's true.
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What a good kid. ]
Exactly. Just keep workin' on what ya wanna change. You'll get there.
Glad we still get t' talk.
[ Even if! He didn't want to talk about some of that willingly! ]
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We can't really leave to go over there when we want. [A pause.] Try to help the principal find his keys.
He's not a bad guy.
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[... He's not sure how...]
It'd be nice to see you guys in person.
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Yeah. Same. Try to... keep everyone in line there.
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Haha, what makes ya think I'm the type to do that?
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hm.]
Yer right.