[ Why do people talk about Annie and Kovu when it's really about Riku and Mickey. Anyway, Nier gives Riku's shoulder a firm squeeze... That's a good look, despite the pain and confusion. ]
[He has a second of surprise jolt, and then he curls his fingers into the back of one of Nier's shoulders. You think you're real strong until someone hugs you, and then the flood gates of realizing you're Not Fine are opened.]
Yeah, but... they still have things they need to do, too.
[ Hugs really do have that power, don't they? He pulls back. ]
Mm. You left them with enough to help you get out of that trance, right? You might need to tell me more, too... In case this happens when I visit again.
[DON'T SULK. His jokes! Disgruntled, he pushes at Nier's hand with one of his, and then uses the other to try to fix his hair.]
Kairi is... [The girl I liked] ...or friend. She moved to the island when we were little, and we played together all the time. I'm starting to think she's the one who keeps Sora and me in line.
[STOP, he isn't an old man! He can get back to the chair himself! Whatever. He accepts the help because he's a recovering No Help Accepter.]
I-- [...] In Castle Oblivion. I was going up from the bottom. Ansem kept trying to get me to give him my body again, so he could use it. But the King found me, and helped me. He protected my heart.
No--wait, yes! Stop that! I didn't liker her like that. Her and Sora... Nevermind!
[He's fucking embarrassed, MOVING ON.]
No, it's... complicated. Everyone is made up of three things: your body, your soul, and your heart. If you lose your heart to darkness, you turn into a Heartless. If you have a strong heart when that happens, your body is... sort of... left behind. As a Nobody. A being without a heart, but with a body and a soul.
This is interesting talk. He never considered a person being divided by three things, but this is how Riku's world works. It gets him thinking, having had enough time to settle on this memory, these thoughts, for days after memshare. ]
[NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. He looks... well, not really happy to be thinking about that.]
...That sounds like a Nobody. They were... There was an organization of them, the one Xemnas was leading. They were trying to collect hearts because they thought they were empty, just... bodies. Bodies with souls. Like a shell of their former selves. They thought Nobodies couldn't feel emotions.
But Roxas and Naminé... [He glances away.] I don't think that was true. DiZ wanted me to get rid of Naminé after we had helped Sora because he didn't think Nobodies should exist.
...I couldn't. Naminé wouldn't have helped me or Sora... if that were true...
[ Nier frowns as he listens to this, though it's... Nice to know there are others like me, even if it isn't the same. It's that small peace that has the edges of his lips quirk upward slightly. ]
To me, it sounds like they had emotions. Naminé sounds kind.
[What the fuck? How is he supposed to even process that?! HELLO?! HE HAS DEPRESSION. No one wants to be a Nobody, but he can't just tell Nier to stop feeling reassured when others are like that?!
Jesus.]
I think there was more to them than what others or even themselves thought. Would you stop smiling about it? You're not... You're not a vessel. You're more than that.
[ Hey. They're similar to him. How can you tell him not to be reassured by knowing he isn't alone? THEY BOTH HAVE DEPRESSION. ]
... Thanks, Riku. I know. People here have told me I'm not empty, too. [ I don't know what they see, but I'm grateful. ] It doesn't matter to me what I am—I'm still Nier. This is my life.
[ And I won't give that to anyone. But I guess Riku just has to sit here, imagining Roxas denying Sora from him. Sometimes you have to pick and choose people, little brother. ]
You're whole, right? Where you are at home. You have your heart, your soul, and your body.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Riku?
[ Nier is quick to come to his side, abandoning the couch entirely. He places a hand on his shoulder as concern paints his features. ]
Are you okay?
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Then finally, he slowly sits back on his heels. When he glances up at Nier, there's a certain kind of clarity in his eyes.]
Nier...
[He pulls his hand away and glances down at it.]
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... Are you back?
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[He reaches up to rub a hand over one side of his face like he's exhausted.]
It's... happening more often.
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Welcome back. [ To the happening more often part, though. ] I thought you had people on watch all the time?
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Yeah, but... they still have things they need to do, too.
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Mm. You left them with enough to help you get out of that trance, right? You might need to tell me more, too... In case this happens when I visit again.
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[He gives Nier a skeptical look even if it can't be seen.]
Is this your way of trying to weasel more of myself out of me?
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[ For once in this entire game he wants to smack him. ]
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Sorry.
[It was half a joke!]
I don't know what else I could tell you that you don't already know... that would help.
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You can tell me anything. Maybe your favorite memories… Or what future you three want.
[ He ruffles his hair. ]
I don’t know much about Kairi or King Mickey, too.
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Kairi is... [The girl I liked] ...or friend. She moved to the island when we were little, and we played together all the time. I'm starting to think she's the one who keeps Sora and me in line.
The King...
[Saved me when I needed it most.]
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So you used to like Kairi. [ That's sweet. ] How did you meet the King?
[ He helps Riku up, then leads him to sit back on his chair? Like a grandpa. ]
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[STOP, he isn't an old man! He can get back to the chair himself! Whatever. He accepts the help because he's a recovering No Help Accepter.]
I-- [...] In Castle Oblivion. I was going up from the bottom. Ansem kept trying to get me to give him my body again, so he could use it. But the King found me, and helped me. He protected my heart.
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[ You don't need to explain to big brother! It's fine. He gets it.
Nier returns to the couch like before. This time, they can talk as who they really are. ]
... You talk about hearts, nobodies, and stuff like that, but I don't know exactly what that means. Do you die?
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[He's fucking embarrassed, MOVING ON.]
No, it's... complicated. Everyone is made up of three things: your body, your soul, and your heart. If you lose your heart to darkness, you turn into a Heartless. If you have a strong heart when that happens, your body is... sort of... left behind. As a Nobody. A being without a heart, but with a body and a soul.
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This is interesting talk. He never considered a person being divided by three things, but this is how Riku's world works. It gets him thinking, having had enough time to settle on this memory, these thoughts, for days after memshare. ]
... What would I be, Riku? I don't have a soul.
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I... don't know. If you're alive, you have a soul... since your soul is what gives you life. If you don't have one...
[Nah, fam, he doesn't want to say anything about the possibility of Nier being dead even though Nier has already insisted on this.]
I don't know... I've never met anyone without a soul. How do you know you don't have one?
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I don't, but it was what I was told. Told I was just an empty vessel, a body for someone else.
[ Have you ever considered your big brother is kind of like a Nobody. ]
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...That sounds like a Nobody. They were... There was an organization of them, the one Xemnas was leading. They were trying to collect hearts because they thought they were empty, just... bodies. Bodies with souls. Like a shell of their former selves. They thought Nobodies couldn't feel emotions.
But Roxas and Naminé... [He glances away.] I don't think that was true. DiZ wanted me to get rid of Naminé after we had helped Sora because he didn't think Nobodies should exist.
...I couldn't. Naminé wouldn't have helped me or Sora... if that were true...
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To me, it sounds like they had emotions. Naminé sounds kind.
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Jesus.]
I think there was more to them than what others or even themselves thought. Would you stop smiling about it? You're not... You're not a vessel. You're more than that.
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... Thanks, Riku. I know. People here have told me I'm not empty, too. [ I don't know what they see, but I'm grateful. ] It doesn't matter to me what I am—I'm still Nier. This is my life.
[ And I won't give that to anyone. But I guess Riku just has to sit here, imagining Roxas denying Sora from him. Sometimes you have to pick and choose people, little brother. ]
You're whole, right? Where you are at home. You have your heart, your soul, and your body.
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He just very smartly does not comment or even think too hard about the second statement, or he will be very ugly.]
...Yeah. I'm whole. I had Ansem inside my heart, but... DiZ did something, and... I guess he's gone. I haven't felt or heard him.
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That's good. Don't let people take what's yours.
[ We got sidetracked. ]
So Castle Oblivion?
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