GRAVEYARD

[dormheads]

graveyard

students in time out: 10

It's a little hard to wake up when the melody that drifts into your ears is so comforting that it'd be so much simpler to stay asleep. Maybe everything that you remember last - the cold seeping into your fingertips, the pain of injury, or the darkness creeping into your vision - will just be parts of a bad dream.

But it's not.

When you wake up, it's probably a little disorienting - you have to push off a blanket and rise from this nice comfortable mat on the floor. Seems like you were all curled up for nap time. Literally. The room that you're in has furniture meant for small humans, children as some might call them, and everything is soft and plush to the touch with rounded corners. Blocks with the alphabet etched onto them, coloring books and crayons, and even a rocking horse dot the room to really give it that childish charm. If you can think of a child-safe toy, it's probably in one of the baskets that line the shelves of the room!

Around the room they'll find baby monitors that broadcast the antics of the living. Hopefully that doesn't feel creepy.

There is a yard outside through the glass doors, but it currently seems to be locked - and the glass won't break no matter how hard you try. There's a large pink door that feels enormous, ten times as tall as you, on one side of the room, but there's no way through that either. At the very top, you might see a directory sign that says: TO ADMINISTRATION BUILDING.

Huh.

Well... for now, get comfortable. It looks like you might be here a while.

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Comments

[wtfox]

[lila is math lady meme-ing]

...macaroni is made from wheat... maybe if we crush it we can make dough from it.

[a beat]

Lan Wangji just punched the macaroni into dust last week.

[heartlands]

Wait - what happened last week? No, actually, I can ask later. But, uhh...

[hmmmm]

If it needs to be dough... This looks really dry, can we break it down and then add water to it or something?

[wtfox]

Yeah, usually when we make dough from scratch we need flour, sugar, salt, olive oil, water, and yeast... I don't know where we're going to get that, though. Water we can at least get from here [since they probably won't let them double-die of thirst, although all these Taken Gays very well might] but the rest...

[heartlands]

[rip the taken gays]

Yeah. So... We can either do that, or - you think if we just shoved a bunch of these pieces together and sprinkled cheese on top, maybe when the cheese melted it would hold it all together...?

[that is a horrible idea]

[wtfox]

[she looks scandalized]

You can't call that a pizza.

[heartlands]

I'm not sure we can call it a pizza anyways, since we don't have, like... 90% of the things you just listed...? But I am not a pizza expert, so I will bow to your wisdom.

[wtfox]

Well, I guess we're going to have to make something, but...

[just. frowns.]

How can they expect us to make pepperoni pizza? Even if we did cobble something together for the crust, there's no pepperoni.

[heartlands]

...I kind of hate to ask this, but what's pepperoni?

[wtfox]

It's a type of salami made in America.

[...]

Do... I need to explain what salami is?

[heartlands]

[awkward pause.]

[wtfox]

...do you know what sausage is...?

[heartlands]

—Yeah, I do!

[wtfox]

[oh thank god]

It's a type of sausage.

[heartlands]

Oh.

[hmmmmm]

Yeah, that might be tricky. I'd say we can get creative, but none of what we have here, uh, even resembles meat.

[wtfox]

[she glances at principal bear]

...do you think the bear even knows what pepperoni is?

[heartlands]

Maybe! We could always ask?

[wtfox]

No, I mean... the bear's the one who called us over here to do this, so like, if he doesn't know what pepperoni is, can't we just make whatever and say we did it...? Since this is what we're supposed to be working with?

[she gestures at the macaroni and cheese.]

[heartlands]

Oh... Yeah, that's a good point! Like, a 'let's don't and say we did' kind of thing?

[wtfox]

Yeah. We can just do the cooking show thing and be like, this is our deconstructed pepperoni pizza! With extra cheese as a garnish!

[heartlands]

Yeah! So now we just have to... put it all in this little oven thing, right?

[wtfox]

Yeah, I guess so, but...

[she frowns and squints at it]

...I think it's just cooking it with a light bulb...? What the heck...

[heartlands]

Maybe it'll magically work...?

[wtfox]

...I guess I can't really argue that. We magically appeared in daycare after dying.

[heartlands]

[a beat, before:]

Yeah, so - pizza! Let's talk about pizza so we don't have to think about that!

[wtfox]

Okay, so...

[she nudges the oven's opening, uh... open, and then tries to tug her hand back, but. nope. it's stuck.]

...uh.

[wow her fingers are heating up.]