[ AUDIENCE: TAICHI YAGAMI ]

[dormheads]

Comments

[goalsides]

I don't think anybody would ever want that. But we also wouldn't blame you. You know that. We're just gonna have to find a way to fix it somehow.

[darksubverted]

I know.

[But he trails off as if he's thinking about not exactly the nice ways that's looking like it's going to be.]

Just keep trying to pull me back. Even if it looks like it hurts. Don't let it last.

[goalsides]

Really wish people would stop saying that. [but okay.] ...how can we pull you back? What works? Do we just have to try everything?

[darksubverted]

[Listen.]

Yeah... [(yamato voice) just say sora's name] I don't know if it will be the same every time. I don't know... if it will get harder and harder to get us back.

Just try as much as you're able.

[goalsides]

[remember to be gay...]

...did either of us ever tell you about the reboot?

[darksubverted]

[He looks at Taichi, frowning.]

Reboot...?

[goalsides]

Yeah. The reboot to the Digital World. It happened not long before we came here...the idea was that doing the reboot would purge the Digital World of the corruption it was facing that was infecting the Digimon. But doing it also meant that the Digital World would start over...our partners lost their memories of who they were and all the things we'd done together. They didn't even recognize us when we found them again.

[darksubverted]

[Well, this makes him continue to frown! There's a kind of understanding in his glance even if some of this is strange to him.]

Is that what you meant... when you talked about saying goodbye?

[goalsides]

Sort of. We said goodbye to them the first time because we really thought we'd never get to see them again. But this last time...it was kind of weird. When we first met, they knew about us and we didn't know anything about them. After the reboot it was the other way around. Yamato says they got their memories back, but I didn't even know before we showed up here.

[...]

I guess what I'm getting at is I'm not going to give up on trying just because it'll get harder and harder to bring you back.

[darksubverted]

It's hard, but... I get it.

[He looks ahead of them again, but seems to be staring thoughtfully into the distance.]

I didn't give up on Sora either. [...] Naminé asked me if I wanted to seal the darkness and Ansem in my heart away. But to do it, I would have had to be like Sora... asleep in one of her memory pods. I'd forget... but I realized I didn't want to. I wanted to do it on my own.

Plus... I had to wait on Sora to wake up, and I had to help make that happen, too.

[...]

So I wouldn't give up on any of you either.

[goalsides]

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to do things on your own. Even if it takes a while. I probably would've made a similar choice if I were you.

[...there's a short, somewhat hesitant grin.]

Then as long as we're all willing to try, this won't be as bad as it could be.

[darksubverted]

[He... likes the sentiment because it's familiar, but he also... similarly, hates the sentiment because... it's so damn familiar.

There's a little--who knows?--longing? pain? in his eyes when he glances at Taichi, but he looks away really quickly and swallows.]

I know. We have each other to help us through.

[goalsides]

Just a few more weeks, right? Then we'll bust our way out and you'll get back to Sora and we'll get back to our friends. We can do this.

...too bad you don't have any more pictures of Sora and Kairi and stuff.

[darksubverted]

[He looks surprised for a second in the way you do when someone says a thing you hadn't considered. He glances toward the desk, and then lowers his eyes.]

That's okay. I don't need pictures, I don't think. My heart remembers what they look like, just like... their hearts remembered me.

[goalsides]

[...he tilts his head curiously.]

When you were Luke, you thought they were kids you'd only met once and never saw again. It's not really about remembering what they look like, but more about what they mean to you.

[darksubverted]

I know. I just mean... who they are--their looks, their voice, their hearts. [He taps himself on the chest.] It's... all in here.

Even if my memory isn't the same, if I forget... my heart won't. My heart will remember them. It'll lead us back together again.

[goalsides]

[...hah.]

Good. As long as you can hold on to that, then...I can't worry as much, I guess. [he will worry forever it's fine.]

[darksubverted]

[Let him grap this tiny, tiny, tiny shred of almost hope and hold on and pray. Please.]

Nice try. But I know if you're anything like Sora, you're going to worry anyway. Just like... if Yamato is anything like me, he's already been worrying anyway, too.

[goalsides]

[there's a grin that kind of says riku is exactly right on both accounts.]

You and Yamato both worry too much in the first place, you know. [as opposed to taichi who only worries about certain things.]

[darksubverted]

[FOUR of them.......]

Some people have to worry to make up for the two people who don't.

[Pointed look at Taichi.]

[goalsides]

[he makes a face.]

I worry about stuff when I have to, but...I'm the one who's supposed to lead the team and keep everybody safe. If I worry too much, then it's worse.

[darksubverted]

[HE CAN'T HELP BUT STARE AT THIS.]

I'm just going to keep saying over and over that you sound exactly like Sora until you stop saying things that sound exactly like him.

[goalsides]

[welcome to my personal hell, yeah. anyway taichi doesn't entirely know what to say about that before he shrugs again.]

Sorry? I think? [HE'S NOT SURE IF HE SHOULD APOLOGIZE OR WHAT.]

[darksubverted]

[Yeah, you better apologize, asshole. Not that there needs to be an apology for anything.]

Don't be stupid. Just because you're the "leader" doesn't mean your friends are going to think everything is hopeless just because you're also worrying a little.

I'd appreciate it if Sora worried a little more actually. Then I'd know he was taking things more seriously than what it seems like at first. He could always just tell me if something is bothering him. Then I'd know for once... I'd need to help him.

[goalsides]

I dunno, Yamato's yelled at me a couple of times for not immediately jumping into stuff. He called it running away. [and before riku can say anything:] We're fine, we talked about it later. Things are better.

...if Sora and I are really as alike as you say we are, then it's probably because he thinks he can fix whatever's bothering him on his own. You guys have a lot going on, right? Why add extra worry when there's a bigger picture?

[...]

Not that it's the right answer, but I don't think it's about not wanting the help. More like not knowing if it's worth asking when the problem is something you can fix yourself if you try hard enough.