1. Comment with your character. 2. Receive comments from others. 3. Reply to their comments with every emotion and thought you've ever had about their relationship throughout the game. 4. Give us FOOD.
Lux liked her. They weren't buddies or anything, so it was more like they would see each other around and Otome never did anything to make Lux dislike her. And she Generically Respected Her as an adult and a doctor.
and then mafia happened. and they still didn't really interact that much outside of maf meetings... Lux is so focused on duty that as soon as she was maf it was like Well That's All That Matters Now so it didn't really occur to her to talk to Otome very much one on one, especially since all of maf had the same general outlook on how to approach things, so there weren't many arguments or conflicts that needed resolving.
Lux is very faction oriented and tends to slot people into teams, so her priorities were initially: Fall Dorm. Like, obviously protect everyone she can, especially protect women and children, but Fall Dorm. And then as soon as she joined maf it was Fall Dorm and Cat Cult, but. Byleth died. And then Otome died. And it left Lux feeling like she was the new Leader of the cult, whether that was really true or not... Which was a responsibility she doesn't feel she handled well, and she views as having let Otome down, because when someone dies, it's easy to think "they would have done this better," whether that's true or not.
Despite having Depression Spiraled this whole game, Lux was really grateful to Otome for having given her something to do to help people, even if she also felt like it ruined all of her friendships and it definitely ruined her mental health. but. like. that's a trade Lux would always make even if she knew it was coming and had the option not to. It truly basically mirrors her choices in canon, where she has and probably will continue to choose her alliances regardless of how they fuck her up inside.
Anyway because of mafia, I think Lux has a deep loyalty to Otome and feels, inherently, like she owes Otome something to atone for having been a bad mafia leader after she died. And she just Generally Likes Her and thinks she's smart and kind, so... I hope that they run into each other sometimes in critrole world and have a nice time.
He died early, so there isn't toooo much to say. But Lux liked talking to him, when they did. It was kind of... Weird for her?
She's very used to talking to Knights and stuff, and she basically slotted him mentally as Knight, but then he was truly so much more friendly and relaxed than what she's used to. Her whole family is like deeply involved in the military and very strict because of it - and because they mostly hate her lol - so it was kind of wild to just. Be able to talk? The informality was really jarring, but she enjoyed it.
Also in the end, she was very deeply reassured that anyone would like - tell her she did the best she could. Her emotional state was REAL BAD even after all the dead came back, because she had started to feel like finally being able to explain that she had done all this murder for a good reason had made people less forgiving than when they had known it was her but not known why she was doing it?
So it meant a lot coming from someone who she wasn't very close with, because it feels more sincere that way. Instead of just someone who's talked to her a lot feeling sorry for her.
Wrong dialogue choices for each other over and over and over. Lux kind of recognized this was happening, like... He would say things that would deeply irritate her, but she would have to be like. Okay but he's not really wrong. And he's nice the rest of the time. And if I'd just tell him the truth this wouldn't fucking matter. And when she would say the wrong thing to him, again, it was like... Well, he's annoyed, but he'll still talk to me again later. And he has a good reason to be annoyed by this, so.
She was more annoyed with feeling like he was prying into her business than with his pushing her on where she stood on issues itself, because she. was lying! about her position on issues!! haha... But she was also trying to seem open and forthcoming about most things, she just kind of sucks at that. It's not like she thought he was completely in the right, because she was getting annoyed, but then she'd cool down and be like. well. whatever.
So yeah, it meant she would just kind of let each interaction go that way and go 'oh well' and then still talk to him again later because sure, why not. She was upset when he died, because Fall Death, but like. if it had to be anyone, at least it was a Super Old Wizard Guy instead of one of the children? She was upset, but not like... Devastated... And she kind of processed it before becoming mafia and settling into actually having a real level of control within the situation...
She is glad he's back. By the time he came back, though, she was so incredibly Over Everything and deep in her maf depression spiral, so there wasn't much motivation to like. sit down and make amends or talk it out or anything. Just compartmentalize and never see each other again, babieee, that's the Lux Way.
Lux liked talking to him because at first they kind of had a lot in common regarding being ~*~nobility~*~ except I don't actually remember if she learned he was an actual prince until overhearing it way late in the game LOL... But still - the suffering of like... Socialite life and rich family expectations and all of that.
And he had apparently, like, run away from that a lot more than she did? Which she thought was very impressive, because while Lux's primary method of dealing with problems this game was just leave, it's a lot. Harder than that, because what didn't get much time to shine in a place like that is that she always comes right back. Your kingdom is oppressing mages and you can't stand by and watch it happen? Just leave! And then.... come back! to help them! fight against the mage rebellion that just wants human rights!!!! HAHA!!!
So anyway when he died she was just very. Emo about it because he was braver than her and she learned about mafia and the fact that he died for having done a Good Thing Actually. He died. Literally the day after she was recruited, so she didn't quite have time to fall into the you are mine to protect mindset like she did the others, so at least she didn't feel. Out of her mind guilty about him dying? Just emo.
But he's back and she's very relieved, and also like all mafia members she now feels like she owes him a life debt just for not having led the mafia that well, even though literally no one asked her to.
There isn't too much to say, because they were never that close... But Lux did like Sakyou and found him a very calming person. She had seen that he was full of rage and spite but she's also like. haha who isn't. anyway.
He was always nice to her. Even when she was super petty and felt like she had turned everyone against her with one sentence. And even when she showed up to kill him!!! She was always so impressed, having seen how angry he gets, that he can keep calm the rest of the time. Because it's hard to be so bitter and not lash out at people like 24/7...
She still felt he was the right choice in target, though. Her own personal bonds with people aside, it was like "Well which child would you people have wanted me to kill instead?" But she would obviously never say that because she did also have a lot of sympathy for all the people mourning etc. She knew that like, no matter who they picked, someone was going to go "that was my person, how dare you" so it was just like. Well everyone is going to hate me no matter what.
Kaine punched her after she revealed she was mafia and she was desperately trying to keep her thoughts from projecting, because it was still thoughtshare week, because she was like Sakyou's friends deserve to be mad and deserve to lash out and deserve to be angry that he was chosen. So it was like (gets punched in the face) "You're valid and allowed to do this to me, because I am responsible for my sins. (I was right, though. Or did you want me to murder a child??)"
Anyway none of that is Sakyou's fault it was just wrapped up in his death so
She's extremely relieved he's been brought back, and she assumes that he hates her, and she will just never speak to him again and go :) problem solved.
Nooooooo!!! I kept saying this but truly had this not been a murdergame I think they would have gotten along wonderfully because Lux is also a stepford smiler and they have some stuff in common to bond over re: expectations, being hated, and other Family Baggage etc! Removed from a mg, they could have just been besties...
... Or maybe not, maybe Maya was always going to say just the wrong thing to Lux. Who knows, I guess.
Anyway Lux arrived at the game and was keeping her magic under wraps because like. She's hid it her whole life, and she doesn't WANT to, but why would she just suddenly think she's safe in this new place? And Maya was pushy about the whole witch thing which set off a lot of alarms in Lux's head and made her extremely wary of Maya. But she also really wants to project that she is a :) nice and friendly trustworthy person :) so she would keep talking to Maya anyway.
And Maya would always just. Say the exact thing that would fucking annoy or upset Lux so much. And a lot of times it was something totally harmless, it would just be Maya giving Lux a little pep talk to show, like, "Hey, I can tell you're upset! But I believe in you and I think you're doing your best in a tough situation!" And Lux would have the emotional reaction equivalent of: What the fuck do you know no matter how kind the words were.
They were always on this back and forth of Maya upsetting Lux, and then Lux having to remind herself like. Bitch, you do this to people, too. (But with zero self-reflection about how maybe she should stop.) And so she'd try to just let it go, and try to be nice with Maya again, and then. Maya would upset her again, by like - touching her without permission when she didn't want it, or trying another pep talk, or asking her about something she didn't want to talk about in a way that made Lux feel like she was just being mined for information when she was still freshly traumatized.
But I do think that it means something that Lux, who ordinarily just cuts and runs at the first sign of negativity, really did just keep trying to be nice and get along with Maya.
Her opinion of Maya seemed that Maya had good intentions, but was thoughtless and accidentally inconsiderate, and she couldn't ever really make up her mind if that was worth it. But Maya was trying, and kept trying, so Lux kept trying too.
Lux was so preoccupied with her own murderhands that she didn't really have any thoughts about Maya killing Manwol. It was possession, so even though she was fucking furious that Manwol died, she didn't really extend that frustration to Maya at all. Honestly she was angrier at Manwol for it.
She would like to believe that Maya doesn't go home to die, but ultimately it doesn't matter because Lux does not intend to see anyone here who didn't specifically insist she visit them ever again. Good luck out there.
Initially Lux didn't have much of an impression of Manwol beyond that she seemed Nice Enough and was Fall Dorm, ie: Lux's responsibility to protect.
Then Manwol volunteered to die and Lux voted for her, and talked to a lot of people about that choice. Ultimately it boiled down to: It's better to respect that someone has made a difficult choice than force something unfair on PROBABLY A RANDOM CHILD. She kind of justified it by thinking of it like being in the military. A soldier is probably going to fucking eat it WAY EARLIER IN LIFE than a civilian. But we don't kick and scream when someone signs up for the military, so like. We can't throw a fit if someone is willing to take on the burden of dying for our failures. (?????)
But she did hate it!! And Manwol living was a very difficult mix of relief and frustration, because Lila had to die instead hewwo...
After that they mostly just vibed... She thought Manwol was smart and funny and pretty, and all of them got up to prank shenanigans together... She judged her for dating Claude, but it was like - playfully, because Fall Dorm bonded like that.
Lux never quite knew how to handle Manwol coming into Maf. Manwol wasn't one of her picks, and her outlook was so counter to how all the rest of maf viewed things. She was like - clearly upset at having been dragged into something that she couldn't look away from. She didn't want to just leave their crime scenes as is, she didn't want to sit victims down and gently explain what was going on. She wanted to sneak up on people and hide the evidence and be strategic, and I think that... Lux could have been swayed to that had she not been surrounded by other maf who were also big softies. But. She was surrounded by other softies, and she had decided she was in charge now because she was the longest maf.
Which meant Manwol was hers to protect as both Fall Dorm and Mafia. So when Manwol died and Lux smashed her phone that was. Like, because of the Denji's phone thing, there were some people who thought maybe it was an evidence ploy or a scheme but.
No, Lux was just fucking upset that Manwol died. Because A) Manwol had walked her back to Fall Dorm and then left again! to go die! what the fuck! and B) she was maf and Lux wanted to protect maf. AND C) SHE WAS FALL DORM, and at this point Lux was DEEP in the depression spiral and she was just hopelessly latching onto but at least I've protected Fall Dorm. and Manwol took that from her. :unamused:
And she probably cried for like an hour when she got Manwol's parting gift, and then even though it had ended on a like 'i'll ask you about this thing!' Lux just didn't bring it up because she didn't even want to acknowledge that Manwol had died, she is just, it didn't last that long, she is not even going to deal with it anymore, GOODBYE.
Firstly it's really fucking funny that Lux was like "I will not pursue Ichiro at all, because whether there is or is not a chance (there isn't) I wouldn't want to be a second choice anyway"
Meanwhile Ichiro was. Her second choice. So.
ANYWAY phew their cr was a rollercoaster.
It started with Lux just worrying for him as a person, because she is Self Designated Protector. Before she fell into her depression too hard, she was trying to be the beacon of light, be the optimistic voice, but also not sugar-coat things. And she felt like she was failing to do that... Except with Ichiro. With Ichiro it seemed like she managed to say things that genuinely helped recenter him, so that was satisfying.
And he was nice to her! Those are the primary reasons Lux liked him. Lux is extremelyyyyyy desperate for approval and affection, and so if someone says the right, nice things to her, she's just immediately I Would Die For You. Because she's never really had friends except for *gestures as a giant statue she accidentally brought to life with her magic once* and *gestures at a mass murderer* and her family all pretty blatantly hate her. Except for Garen, who she has a strained relationship with.
Which also means she has Brother Issues™ and the fact that Ichiro was obviously such a loving and caring brother who valued family above all else was another weakness to her. Wow, imagine loving your family!!!!! Imagine taking care of each other with kindness and fondness instead of by lying and looking away and leaving Lux to deal with things alone!!!!
Despite whatever crush she had, she truly did not intend to do dick about it. Even if it weren't for Iris and for only ever having a chance at second place, when Lux became mafia she was like haha! Nothing else in this world matters anymore beyond this duty of mine!
But that didn't mean she wouldn't still talk to him and enjoy it. And you already know about the date auction misery of like. everyone telling her she must be popular, only for no one to bid on her. When Maya did it was A) really late in the day, so she'd already spent all day feeling unwanted and B) Lux brushed her off bc things with Maya were always tense. But Ichiro bid on her! But he also was so, like, "AS FRIENDS!!!!!" that she was like. dying inside a little, like, that's? all i want to begin with? hewwo??
And she ran away during fuck marry kill because she was like literally there is no answer for me to hear right now that I will enjoy. Because she liked ichiro, so it was going to be unpleasant to get reminded that he didn't like her back, but she also wouldn't have wanted it if he had liked her back, because Duty Trumps Love, Always.
Uh, then... Mafia... She wanted to bring him in because - like she said. It felt like she was watching him spin himself in circles and she wanted to be able to give him answers. Everyone going WHY ICHIRO was so valid, but it truly didn't occur to her that it was that bad an idea, because she was like. "lol. can't everyone lie? and what's wrong with it if he just comes to the meetings and doesn't have to do anything?" She is truly a bit warped on this because her sense of duty and responsibility does not account for the feelings of helplessness that it traps other people in.
That said, it wasn't even her request that brought him in. She requested him a week or two back, it was someone else who had gotten him in. idr who it doesn't matter. Either way, she still felt responsible.
Because duty trumps all, Lux thought it made the most strategic sense to not risk incriminating new mafia members and risk people voting for a diff maf if it stopped being her since she was clearly protected. Being protected was also super fucking with her head, so of course she like doubled down on the source of her misery. She's bossy and manipulative, and she will sacrifice personal relationships for her goals if she thinks they're right, and she thought she was right in this.
Even their reconciliation was a lot of her couching how justified she felt in her decisions to be softer and more acceptable... But she did discover, after 8 weeks in this place, that she Maybe Perhaps Has Some Baggage that she didn't realize she has, about giving power and control to friends. oops.
But she is glad they made up, considering she thinks that anyone who didn't specifically tell her they don't hate her at endgame, she is pretty sure hates her. So she doesn't intend to see many of these people ever again.
I think that she does not intend to see Ichiro ever again, either. But that's not something she plans on letting him know in advance.
So Lux is used to having people listen to her! She's from a noble family that directly serves the prince. Her name and family crest can get her pretty much anywhere she wants to go. People respect her, people obey her. A lot of this happens so passively that she barely even registers it.
And then there are the more active cases, which are largely within the Illuminators, where she isn't in charge of the Illuminators, but she sometimes works with other people within the organization, and they listen to her.
I think with Lalli it was like... Week 0? Maybe week 1 I truly don't remember and can't be bothered to check. When he like jumped off a roof in front of her to 'report' something, and then she told him to do something, and he was just like 'ok.'
And so from then on she just kind of fell into that dynamic. I don't think a like... Commander + Underling dynamic is inherently unhealthy, but I think how quickly she just started expecting him to do whatever she said was not great! And also how fucking offended she would get when he didn't. The few times she told him to do something and he didn't she would just have this visceral how fucking dare you emotional response that she'd have to push down. The feeling was definitely closer to betrayal than anger, BUT STILL, wtf Lux.
She just expected servitude from him when necessary, which wouldn't have had as much of a manifest, except for that she was mafia.
And I think part of it was complicated/made messy by that it wasn't just a commander + underling dynamic. They were also friends! Like, they clearly cared about each other, and enjoyed spending time together and doing silly things together with Fall Dorm. And trauma bonding on a cyoa.......
Uh, anyway, Lux felt like Lalli was supposed to follow her commands. And in return, she also felt very strongly that she had to protect him. Probably more than anyone else from Fall Dorm - and she had an intense desperation to protect all of them already.
I HAD TO ask the mods when Lalli was about to get punched by Beau if Lux could just say "He's trying to protect me," to try and stop it from happening, but there was just no way to convey all of the "because the hair is blonde so it MIGHT be me and he doesn't want to take the RISK" etc, so it would have been too close to just confessing. But she was sooo upset that anyone hit him, and she was also fucking upset that he had done that at all because she toooold him to turn in the hair as evidence! She told him!!! and he didn't listen!!! BETRAYAL!!!!
But she very sadly forgives him, because she knows he was trying to help her... And she wants to have him come visit her in her own world someday... Even if things are Bad, she still thinks it would be nice to just be out in the open together in a world that isn't fucked up like his, and outside of this hell-world school.
They didn't ever get that close, but Lux was deeply fond of Futaba. She was just *points* that's my baby child! Like I've said, Lux considered all of Fall Dorm hers to protect, and she mostly focused on the keeping them alive aspect of that. Emotionally, she tried to be more present and supportive to the kids and their distress... Early on.
But as things got bad, she felt less and less capable of providing that care for them, given that things were getting so bad so fast. And also because she was depression spiraling really hard herself and couldn't focus on anyone else's suffering enough to like. Help them with it.
She would like see Futaba have a whole ass panic attack and it would just make her freeze up and draw a blank and not know what to do or how to help or how to react or anything. And then the cyoa happened and she felt like "OH GOOD, I LEFT FUTABA ALONE THIS WHOLE TIME WHILE WE DICKED AROUND AND DID NOTHING*"
*died several times
But Futaba lived, and Lux is telling herself that's what matters.
Earlier on there was also a lot of, like, enjoying the "pretending to scold futaba while letting her get away with anything" act, because she knew it was bringing everyone together, and that was nice.
Anyway Lux is certain that anyone who didn't say otherwise hates her now, so she does not intend to see Futaba ever again, goodbye. However! Unlike most people she is planning to completely sever from, I imagine that if Lux stays in contact with anyone who stays in contact with Futaba, Lux is probably sometimes like "is she doing okay :( is she eating enough :( i hope she's not getting into trouble :("
So Lux is deeply desperate for validation from others. I think older people in general, since she's kind of like. She doesn't really have friends except for *gestures again to giant statue she accidentally brought to life once* and *gestures again to a mass murderer* so people her own age are truly ????? and her social life is just. Her family! Her mom, her aunt, her brother... And they are all distant and cold.
I think that's probably what made her love Sylas - he was so incredibly villain coded, and pretty frequently lashed out at her and scared her... But! He told her that her magic was beautiful, and that she was powerful, and when she would do tiny lil baby step acts of rebellion against her family, he would tell her she was brave. And that's truly all it takes for Lux.
So. Bradley seemed forthcoming about wizard stuff, but they didn't get along great. And Lux came from a canonpoint in between leaving Demacia because mage oppression bad and going back to Demacia apparently because ?????? a bitch is indecisive i guess. So she really wanted to learn more about magic and other magic users while she was here! Not just because of Plot Reasons but also she just genuinely, underneath all the insecurity and worry, thinks magic is Neat!
And Caleb seemed nice, and he was supportive, and she felt like he was someone she could talk to. At first. So she was pretty much instantly super in love with him, but even before she made her mafia No Romance vow, she was still just compartmentalizing that and locking it up because she was sure it wasn't going to be a thing. She only ever mentioned it once, to Taichi, and he was like "well but how do you know it's hopeless, you won't know unless you say something" and she was just like "haha. no it's hopeless. but it's fine."
And it was fine!! Lux knows how to just have a crush, it's whatever.
Especially since, once she was pulled into mafia, she just pushed all hopes of romance ever at all with anyone completely off the table. Her hands were too full of murder, there was not ever going to be room for anything else. So talking to Ichiro about Caleb and talking to Caleb about Ichiro truly had her just staring into the sun like. ok. this was my fault for trying to joke about this.
She got pulled into Mafia the weekend Rupert died, so she learned all of the Lore about mafia killings and why they had to happen and how they did things. So she went through the next week like reassessing - okay, the kills aren't compelled like I thought, but now I know what's going on and I can work with this.
And then immediately Molly died, and she was so fucking mad about it because it was obviously fucking up the critroles so bad so she was like 2nd hand full of rage. And she was like we just!!! learned there aren't compelled killers!!! the kill we did was the only one that needed to happen!!!!!!! She was truly just seething about it. Also she hated Caiman to begin with so this didn't help and afterwards she was just like ??? well something happened there that i don't understand but i really don't care because fuck that guy.
When Caleb left Fall Dorm she was truly devastated because that's her validation man.... That's like - the only person she feels comfortable talking to who is older than her and every time she ends up spilling her feelings to Yamato or anyone else she's internally screaming like WHY AM I TELLING THIS TO A CHILD WHO SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SUPPORT ME AAAAAAAA. but also she didn't really like how much she was making Caleb support her either and didn't think he should have to do that ESPECIALLY after Molly died, so she. Tried really really hard to just be supportive and let him do what he needed to do, even though she was sad about it. Because she knew better than to expect higher priority than his friend esp after they'd just lost one of theirs.
She truly expected him to just never speak to her again and was trying to just be chill with that, so she was both relieved and confused when he still did.
Uhhh then she depression spiraled real hard with mafia stuff! She was the longest lasting mafia so she felt like it was her duty to protect the rest of them, and to protect Fall Dorm, and she didn't want to be killing anyone, and - I don't think she really put it together the way Caleb did that being suspected like this was super triggering for her because of the Mageseekers back home and all that. But it definitely was exactly that.
Even though I, personally, wanted to die, Lux didn't. So she was kind of leveraging the lightbulb emoji from the dead, whether it really meant her or not, and trying to stay alive. But also not hiding her crimes at all. Especially because it became apparent that lots of people were looking away - so many that Lux had no idea who was and who wasn't. And that truly fucked with her perception of ALL of her cr. Because not many people clarified to her where they stood.
She had no idea who was protecting her because they thought they had to and who was just genuinely not figuring it out. She had no idea if people hated her and protected her anyway, or if they liked her. She just lost all ability to understand what anyone thought of her, because no one ever sat her down and said "I am protecting you because I care about you," except for like. Lalli.
Caleb said he knew it was her, and then didn't go after her in trials but she didn't know him well enough to really make sense of him pretending to try and solve her murders, so she was constantly like 'wow i hope today's not the day he betrays me haha!!!!!!'
And this whole spiral got worse and she got closest to breaking down when they were talking during thought share and she was thinking like. I don't want to be protected anymore! but it wasn't quite true, because she did feel guilty and hated how things were going but she also didn't want to die, and most of all the thought of someone who had been protecting her deciding to stop would have been the most devastating thing imaginable to her. And she had just told him to do that. haha.....
Anyway all's well... that ends well.....
Lux is planning to sever from almost everyone in this game and never see them again, but Caleb invited her to visit and she took it to heart and trusts that he meant it. So hopefully she can come hang out with the critroles and get over her trauma a little.
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Lux
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Lux liked her. They weren't buddies or anything, so it was more like they would see each other around and Otome never did anything to make Lux dislike her. And she Generically Respected Her as an adult and a doctor.
and then mafia happened. and they still didn't really interact that much outside of maf meetings... Lux is so focused on duty that as soon as she was maf it was like Well That's All That Matters Now so it didn't really occur to her to talk to Otome very much one on one, especially since all of maf had the same general outlook on how to approach things, so there weren't many arguments or conflicts that needed resolving.
Lux is very faction oriented and tends to slot people into teams, so her priorities were initially: Fall Dorm. Like, obviously protect everyone she can, especially protect women and children, but Fall Dorm. And then as soon as she joined maf it was Fall Dorm and Cat Cult, but. Byleth died. And then Otome died. And it left Lux feeling like she was the new Leader of the cult, whether that was really true or not... Which was a responsibility she doesn't feel she handled well, and she views as having let Otome down, because when someone dies, it's easy to think "they would have done this better," whether that's true or not.
Despite having Depression Spiraled this whole game, Lux was really grateful to Otome for having given her something to do to help people, even if she also felt like it ruined all of her friendships and it definitely ruined her mental health. but. like. that's a trade Lux would always make even if she knew it was coming and had the option not to. It truly basically mirrors her choices in canon, where she has and probably will continue to choose her alliances regardless of how they fuck her up inside.
Anyway because of mafia, I think Lux has a deep loyalty to Otome and feels, inherently, like she owes Otome something to atone for having been a bad mafia leader after she died. And she just Generally Likes Her and thinks she's smart and kind, so... I hope that they run into each other sometimes in critrole world and have a nice time.
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She's very used to talking to Knights and stuff, and she basically slotted him mentally as Knight, but then he was truly so much more friendly and relaxed than what she's used to. Her whole family is like deeply involved in the military and very strict because of it - and because they mostly hate her lol - so it was kind of wild to just. Be able to talk? The informality was really jarring, but she enjoyed it.
Also in the end, she was very deeply reassured that anyone would like - tell her she did the best she could. Her emotional state was REAL BAD even after all the dead came back, because she had started to feel like finally being able to explain that she had done all this murder for a good reason had made people less forgiving than when they had known it was her but not known why she was doing it?
So it meant a lot coming from someone who she wasn't very close with, because it feels more sincere that way. Instead of just someone who's talked to her a lot feeling sorry for her.
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Wrong dialogue choices for each other over and over and over. Lux kind of recognized this was happening, like... He would say things that would deeply irritate her, but she would have to be like. Okay but he's not really wrong. And he's nice the rest of the time. And if I'd just tell him the truth this wouldn't fucking matter. And when she would say the wrong thing to him, again, it was like... Well, he's annoyed, but he'll still talk to me again later. And he has a good reason to be annoyed by this, so.
She was more annoyed with feeling like he was prying into her business than with his pushing her on where she stood on issues itself, because she. was lying! about her position on issues!! haha... But she was also trying to seem open and forthcoming about most things, she just kind of sucks at that. It's not like she thought he was completely in the right, because she was getting annoyed, but then she'd cool down and be like. well. whatever.
So yeah, it meant she would just kind of let each interaction go that way and go 'oh well' and then still talk to him again later because sure, why not. She was upset when he died, because Fall Death, but like. if it had to be anyone, at least it was a Super Old Wizard Guy instead of one of the children? She was upset, but not like... Devastated... And she kind of processed it before becoming mafia and settling into actually having a real level of control within the situation...
She is glad he's back. By the time he came back, though, she was so incredibly Over Everything and deep in her maf depression spiral, so there wasn't much motivation to like. sit down and make amends or talk it out or anything. Just compartmentalize and never see each other again, babieee, that's the Lux Way.
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Lux liked talking to him because at first they kind of had a lot in common regarding being ~*~nobility~*~ except I don't actually remember if she learned he was an actual prince until overhearing it way late in the game LOL... But still - the suffering of like... Socialite life and rich family expectations and all of that.
And he had apparently, like, run away from that a lot more than she did? Which she thought was very impressive, because while Lux's primary method of dealing with problems this game was just leave, it's a lot. Harder than that, because what didn't get much time to shine in a place like that is that she always comes right back. Your kingdom is oppressing mages and you can't stand by and watch it happen? Just leave! And then.... come back! to help them! fight against the mage rebellion that just wants human rights!!!! HAHA!!!
So anyway when he died she was just very. Emo about it because he was braver than her and she learned about mafia and the fact that he died for having done a Good Thing Actually. He died. Literally the day after she was recruited, so she didn't quite have time to fall into the you are mine to protect mindset like she did the others, so at least she didn't feel. Out of her mind guilty about him dying? Just emo.
But he's back and she's very relieved, and also like all mafia members she now feels like she owes him a life debt just for not having led the mafia that well, even though literally no one asked her to.
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He was always nice to her. Even when she was super petty and felt like she had turned everyone against her with one sentence. And even when she showed up to kill him!!! She was always so impressed, having seen how angry he gets, that he can keep calm the rest of the time. Because it's hard to be so bitter and not lash out at people like 24/7...
She still felt he was the right choice in target, though. Her own personal bonds with people aside, it was like "Well which child would you people have wanted me to kill instead?" But she would obviously never say that because she did also have a lot of sympathy for all the people mourning etc. She knew that like, no matter who they picked, someone was going to go "that was my person, how dare you" so it was just like. Well everyone is going to hate me no matter what.
Kaine punched her after she revealed she was mafia and she was desperately trying to keep her thoughts from projecting, because it was still thoughtshare week, because she was like Sakyou's friends deserve to be mad and deserve to lash out and deserve to be angry that he was chosen. So it was like (gets punched in the face) "You're valid and allowed to do this to me, because I am responsible for my sins. (I was right, though. Or did you want me to murder a child??)"
Anyway none of that is Sakyou's fault it was just wrapped up in his death so
She's extremely relieved he's been brought back, and she assumes that he hates her, and she will just never speak to him again and go :) problem solved.
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... Or maybe not, maybe Maya was always going to say just the wrong thing to Lux. Who knows, I guess.
Anyway Lux arrived at the game and was keeping her magic under wraps because like. She's hid it her whole life, and she doesn't WANT to, but why would she just suddenly think she's safe in this new place? And Maya was pushy about the whole witch thing which set off a lot of alarms in Lux's head and made her extremely wary of Maya. But she also really wants to project that she is a :) nice and friendly trustworthy person :) so she would keep talking to Maya anyway.
And Maya would always just. Say the exact thing that would fucking annoy or upset Lux so much. And a lot of times it was something totally harmless, it would just be Maya giving Lux a little pep talk to show, like, "Hey, I can tell you're upset! But I believe in you and I think you're doing your best in a tough situation!" And Lux would have the emotional reaction equivalent of: What the fuck do you know no matter how kind the words were.
They were always on this back and forth of Maya upsetting Lux, and then Lux having to remind herself like. Bitch, you do this to people, too. (But with zero self-reflection about how maybe she should stop.) And so she'd try to just let it go, and try to be nice with Maya again, and then. Maya would upset her again, by like - touching her without permission when she didn't want it, or trying another pep talk, or asking her about something she didn't want to talk about in a way that made Lux feel like she was just being mined for information when she was still freshly traumatized.
But I do think that it means something that Lux, who ordinarily just cuts and runs at the first sign of negativity, really did just keep trying to be nice and get along with Maya.
Her opinion of Maya seemed that Maya had good intentions, but was thoughtless and accidentally inconsiderate, and she couldn't ever really make up her mind if that was worth it. But Maya was trying, and kept trying, so Lux kept trying too.
Lux was so preoccupied with her own murderhands that she didn't really have any thoughts about Maya killing Manwol. It was possession, so even though she was fucking furious that Manwol died, she didn't really extend that frustration to Maya at all. Honestly she was angrier at Manwol for it.
She would like to believe that Maya doesn't go home to die, but ultimately it doesn't matter because Lux does not intend to see anyone here who didn't specifically insist she visit them ever again. Good luck out there.
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Initially Lux didn't have much of an impression of Manwol beyond that she seemed Nice Enough and was Fall Dorm, ie: Lux's responsibility to protect.
Then Manwol volunteered to die and Lux voted for her, and talked to a lot of people about that choice. Ultimately it boiled down to: It's better to respect that someone has made a difficult choice than force something unfair on PROBABLY A RANDOM CHILD. She kind of justified it by thinking of it like being in the military. A soldier is probably going to fucking eat it WAY EARLIER IN LIFE than a civilian. But we don't kick and scream when someone signs up for the military, so like. We can't throw a fit if someone is willing to take on the burden of dying for our failures. (?????)
But she did hate it!! And Manwol living was a very difficult mix of relief and frustration, because Lila had to die instead hewwo...
After that they mostly just vibed... She thought Manwol was smart and funny and pretty, and all of them got up to prank shenanigans together... She judged her for dating Claude, but it was like - playfully, because Fall Dorm bonded like that.
Lux never quite knew how to handle Manwol coming into Maf. Manwol wasn't one of her picks, and her outlook was so counter to how all the rest of maf viewed things. She was like - clearly upset at having been dragged into something that she couldn't look away from. She didn't want to just leave their crime scenes as is, she didn't want to sit victims down and gently explain what was going on. She wanted to sneak up on people and hide the evidence and be strategic, and I think that... Lux could have been swayed to that had she not been surrounded by other maf who were also big softies. But. She was surrounded by other softies, and she had decided she was in charge now because she was the longest maf.
Which meant Manwol was hers to protect as both Fall Dorm and Mafia. So when Manwol died and Lux smashed her phone that was. Like, because of the Denji's phone thing, there were some people who thought maybe it was an evidence ploy or a scheme but.
No, Lux was just fucking upset that Manwol died. Because A) Manwol had walked her back to Fall Dorm and then left again! to go die! what the fuck! and B) she was maf and Lux wanted to protect maf. AND C) SHE WAS FALL DORM, and at this point Lux was DEEP in the depression spiral and she was just hopelessly latching onto but at least I've protected Fall Dorm. and Manwol took that from her. :unamused:
And she probably cried for like an hour when she got Manwol's parting gift, and then even though it had ended on a like 'i'll ask you about this thing!' Lux just didn't bring it up because she didn't even want to acknowledge that Manwol had died, she is just, it didn't last that long, she is not even going to deal with it anymore, GOODBYE.
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Meanwhile Ichiro was. Her second choice. So.
ANYWAY phew their cr was a rollercoaster.
It started with Lux just worrying for him as a person, because she is Self Designated Protector. Before she fell into her depression too hard, she was trying to be the beacon of light, be the optimistic voice, but also not sugar-coat things. And she felt like she was failing to do that... Except with Ichiro. With Ichiro it seemed like she managed to say things that genuinely helped recenter him, so that was satisfying.
And he was nice to her! Those are the primary reasons Lux liked him. Lux is extremelyyyyyy desperate for approval and affection, and so if someone says the right, nice things to her, she's just immediately I Would Die For You. Because she's never really had friends except for *gestures as a giant statue she accidentally brought to life with her magic once* and *gestures at a mass murderer* and her family all pretty blatantly hate her. Except for Garen, who she has a strained relationship with.
Which also means she has Brother Issues™ and the fact that Ichiro was obviously such a loving and caring brother who valued family above all else was another weakness to her. Wow, imagine loving your family!!!!! Imagine taking care of each other with kindness and fondness instead of by lying and looking away and leaving Lux to deal with things alone!!!!
Despite whatever crush she had, she truly did not intend to do dick about it. Even if it weren't for Iris and for only ever having a chance at second place, when Lux became mafia she was like haha! Nothing else in this world matters anymore beyond this duty of mine!
But that didn't mean she wouldn't still talk to him and enjoy it. And you already know about the date auction misery of like. everyone telling her she must be popular, only for no one to bid on her. When Maya did it was A) really late in the day, so she'd already spent all day feeling unwanted and B) Lux brushed her off bc things with Maya were always tense. But Ichiro bid on her! But he also was so, like, "AS FRIENDS!!!!!" that she was like. dying inside a little, like, that's? all i want to begin with? hewwo??
And she ran away during fuck marry kill because she was like
literally there is no answer for me to hear right now that I will enjoy. Because she liked ichiro, so it was going to be unpleasant to get reminded that he didn't like her back, but she also wouldn't have wanted it if he had liked her back, because Duty Trumps Love, Always.
Uh, then... Mafia... She wanted to bring him in because - like she said. It felt like she was watching him spin himself in circles and she wanted to be able to give him answers. Everyone going WHY ICHIRO was so valid, but it truly didn't occur to her that it was that bad an idea, because she was like. "lol. can't everyone lie? and what's wrong with it if he just comes to the meetings and doesn't have to do anything?" She is truly a bit warped on this because her sense of duty and responsibility does not account for the feelings of helplessness that it traps other people in.
That said, it wasn't even her request that brought him in. She requested him a week or two back, it was someone else who had gotten him in. idr who it doesn't matter. Either way, she still felt responsible.
Because duty trumps all, Lux thought it made the most strategic sense to not risk incriminating new mafia members and risk people voting for a diff maf if it stopped being her since she was clearly protected. Being protected was also super fucking with her head, so of course she like doubled down on the source of her misery. She's bossy and manipulative, and she will sacrifice personal relationships for her goals if she thinks they're right, and she thought she was right in this.
Even their reconciliation was a lot of her couching how justified she felt in her decisions to be softer and more acceptable... But she did discover, after 8 weeks in this place, that she Maybe Perhaps Has Some Baggage that she didn't realize she has, about giving power and control to friends. oops.
But she is glad they made up, considering she thinks that anyone who didn't specifically tell her they don't hate her at endgame, she is pretty sure hates her. So she doesn't intend to see many of these people ever again.
I think that she does not intend to see Ichiro ever again, either. But that's not something she plans on letting him know in advance.
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So Lux is used to having people listen to her! She's from a noble family that directly serves the prince. Her name and family crest can get her pretty much anywhere she wants to go. People respect her, people obey her. A lot of this happens so passively that she barely even registers it.
And then there are the more active cases, which are largely within the Illuminators, where she isn't in charge of the Illuminators, but she sometimes works with other people within the organization, and they listen to her.
I think with Lalli it was like... Week 0? Maybe week 1 I truly don't remember and can't be bothered to check. When he like jumped off a roof in front of her to 'report' something, and then she told him to do something, and he was just like 'ok.'
And so from then on she just kind of fell into that dynamic. I don't think a like... Commander + Underling dynamic is inherently unhealthy, but I think how quickly she just started expecting him to do whatever she said was not great! And also how fucking offended she would get when he didn't. The few times she told him to do something and he didn't she would just have this visceral how fucking dare you emotional response that she'd have to push down. The feeling was definitely closer to betrayal than anger, BUT STILL, wtf Lux.
She just expected servitude from him when necessary, which wouldn't have had as much of a manifest, except for that she was mafia.
And I think part of it was complicated/made messy by that it wasn't just a commander + underling dynamic. They were also friends! Like, they clearly cared about each other, and enjoyed spending time together and doing silly things together with Fall Dorm. And trauma bonding on a cyoa.......
Uh, anyway, Lux felt like Lalli was supposed to follow her commands. And in return, she also felt very strongly that she had to protect him. Probably more than anyone else from Fall Dorm - and she had an intense desperation to protect all of them already.
I HAD TO ask the mods when Lalli was about to get punched by Beau if Lux could just say "He's trying to protect me," to try and stop it from happening, but there was just no way to convey all of the "because the hair is blonde so it MIGHT be me and he doesn't want to take the RISK" etc, so it would have been too close to just confessing. But she was sooo upset that anyone hit him, and she was also fucking upset that he had done that at all because she toooold him to turn in the hair as evidence! She told him!!! and he didn't listen!!! BETRAYAL!!!!
But she very sadly forgives him, because she knows he was trying to help her... And she wants to have him come visit her in her own world someday... Even if things are Bad, she still thinks it would be nice to just be out in the open together in a world that isn't fucked up like his, and outside of this hell-world school.
Re: Lux
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They didn't ever get that close, but Lux was deeply fond of Futaba. She was just *points* that's my baby child! Like I've said, Lux considered all of Fall Dorm hers to protect, and she mostly focused on the keeping them alive aspect of that. Emotionally, she tried to be more present and supportive to the kids and their distress... Early on.
But as things got bad, she felt less and less capable of providing that care for them, given that things were getting so bad so fast. And also because she was depression spiraling really hard herself and couldn't focus on anyone else's suffering enough to like. Help them with it.
She would like see Futaba have a whole ass panic attack and it would just make her freeze up and draw a blank and not know what to do or how to help or how to react or anything. And then the cyoa happened and she felt like "OH GOOD, I LEFT FUTABA ALONE THIS WHOLE TIME WHILE WE DICKED AROUND AND DID NOTHING*"
*died several times
But Futaba lived, and Lux is telling herself that's what matters.
Earlier on there was also a lot of, like, enjoying the "pretending to scold futaba while letting her get away with anything" act, because she knew it was bringing everyone together, and that was nice.
Anyway Lux is certain that anyone who didn't say otherwise hates her now, so she does not intend to see Futaba ever again, goodbye. However! Unlike most people she is planning to completely sever from, I imagine that if Lux stays in contact with anyone who stays in contact with Futaba, Lux is probably sometimes like "is she doing okay :( is she eating enough :( i hope she's not getting into trouble :("
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sweats
So Lux is deeply desperate for validation from others. I think older people in general, since she's kind of like. She doesn't really have friends except for *gestures again to giant statue she accidentally brought to life once* and *gestures again to a mass murderer* so people her own age are truly ????? and her social life is just. Her family! Her mom, her aunt, her brother... And they are all distant and cold.
I think that's probably what made her love Sylas - he was so incredibly villain coded, and pretty frequently lashed out at her and scared her... But! He told her that her magic was beautiful, and that she was powerful, and when she would do tiny lil baby step acts of rebellion against her family, he would tell her she was brave. And that's truly all it takes for Lux.
So. Bradley seemed forthcoming about wizard stuff, but they didn't get along great. And Lux came from a canonpoint in between leaving Demacia because mage oppression bad and going back to Demacia apparently because ?????? a bitch is indecisive i guess. So she really wanted to learn more about magic and other magic users while she was here! Not just because of Plot Reasons but also she just genuinely, underneath all the insecurity and worry, thinks magic is Neat!
And Caleb seemed nice, and he was supportive, and she felt like he was someone she could talk to. At first. So she was pretty much instantly super in love with him, but even before she made her mafia No Romance vow, she was still just compartmentalizing that and locking it up because she was sure it wasn't going to be a thing. She only ever mentioned it once, to Taichi, and he was like "well but how do you know it's hopeless, you won't know unless you say something" and she was just like "haha. no it's hopeless. but it's fine."
And it was fine!! Lux knows how to just have a crush, it's whatever.
Especially since, once she was pulled into mafia, she just pushed all hopes of romance ever at all with anyone completely off the table. Her hands were too full of murder, there was not ever going to be room for anything else. So talking to Ichiro about Caleb and talking to Caleb about Ichiro truly had her just staring into the sun like. ok. this was my fault for trying to joke about this.
She got pulled into Mafia the weekend Rupert died, so she learned all of the Lore about mafia killings and why they had to happen and how they did things. So she went through the next week like reassessing - okay, the kills aren't compelled like I thought, but now I know what's going on and I can work with this.
And then immediately Molly died, and she was so fucking mad about it because it was obviously fucking up the critroles so bad so she was like 2nd hand full of rage. And she was like we just!!! learned there aren't compelled killers!!! the kill we did was the only one that needed to happen!!!!!!! She was truly just seething about it. Also she hated Caiman to begin with so this didn't help and afterwards she was just like ??? well something happened there that i don't understand but i really don't care because fuck that guy.
When Caleb left Fall Dorm she was truly devastated because that's her validation man.... That's like - the only person she feels comfortable talking to who is older than her and every time she ends up spilling her feelings to Yamato or anyone else she's internally screaming like WHY AM I TELLING THIS TO A CHILD WHO SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SUPPORT ME AAAAAAAA. but also she didn't really like how much she was making Caleb support her either and didn't think he should have to do that ESPECIALLY after Molly died, so she. Tried really really hard to just be supportive and let him do what he needed to do, even though she was sad about it. Because she knew better than to expect higher priority than his friend esp after they'd just lost one of theirs.
She truly expected him to just never speak to her again and was trying to just be chill with that, so she was both relieved and confused when he still did.
Uhhh then she depression spiraled real hard with mafia stuff! She was the longest lasting mafia so she felt like it was her duty to protect the rest of them, and to protect Fall Dorm, and she didn't want to be killing anyone, and - I don't think she really put it together the way Caleb did that being suspected like this was super triggering for her because of the Mageseekers back home and all that. But it definitely was exactly that.
Even though I, personally, wanted to die, Lux didn't. So she was kind of leveraging the lightbulb emoji from the dead, whether it really meant her or not, and trying to stay alive. But also not hiding her crimes at all. Especially because it became apparent that lots of people were looking away - so many that Lux had no idea who was and who wasn't. And that truly fucked with her perception of ALL of her cr. Because not many people clarified to her where they stood.
She had no idea who was protecting her because they thought they had to and who was just genuinely not figuring it out. She had no idea if people hated her and protected her anyway, or if they liked her. She just lost all ability to understand what anyone thought of her, because no one ever sat her down and said "I am protecting you because I care about you," except for like. Lalli.
Caleb said he knew it was her, and then didn't go after her in trials but she didn't know him well enough to really make sense of him pretending to try and solve her murders, so she was constantly like 'wow i hope today's not the day he betrays me haha!!!!!!'
And this whole spiral got worse and she got closest to breaking down when they were talking during thought share and she was thinking like. I don't want to be protected anymore! but it wasn't quite true, because she did feel guilty and hated how things were going but she also didn't want to die, and most of all the thought of someone who had been protecting her deciding to stop would have been the most devastating thing imaginable to her. And she had just told him to do that. haha.....
Anyway all's well... that ends well.....
Lux is planning to sever from almost everyone in this game and never see them again, but Caleb invited her to visit and she took it to heart and trusts that he meant it. So hopefully she can come hang out with the critroles and get over her trauma a little.
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