[ oh. well! actually this is a good time to be head empty?
by which i mean, he's coming back from getting a coke from the cafeteria, still just feeling off, but not... well. he's fine. it's whatever. as he's approaching winter, though, a girl calls his name? he glances over while he's digging out his student ID to get in. ]
Uh, hey. Thanks? [ Forgot how many students there technically are here... ]
[ . . . she misses a beat in the conversation. it's brief, and it's masked easily by the time she takes to stand from the blanket, reaching her hand out to him.]
... You are a person who is well-loved everywhere you go, it seems.
I'm Iris. Iris Lana Armelia. [a beat] And it is a little bit my business - to know who you are. I'm your Dorm Head. So... please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
Haha, no, no, definitely not. [ I've gotten in way too many fights for that to be true.
but! he's perfectly content to take this introduction, and then does a polite little bow. ] Iris. Nice to meet you. You already know my name, but it's polite, so... Ichiro, Ichiro Yamada.
[ with a smile! it's warm and bright. ] Dorm head.. oh, yeah. You're in charge of this place, yeah? Well, don't work yourself too hard. If you need any help around the dorm, lemme know. I've got at least one working arm, right now, and plenty of experience.
[ some things never, ever change. ichiro's immediate reach for kindness, for helping others, is one of them. talk about deja vu. ]
. . . though as he completes his introduction, it inspires a little bit of a laugh from her, fond and kind. You really are this kind of person through and through.]
Hmm... Maybe not help but - I was just taking a moment outside? Are you busy? The sky is very pretty today and... I was just thinking it was getting a little quiet with just me, and I prefer when things are a bit rowdy.
[and her traitorous thoughts, plaintive and sincere: I want to talk to you. I already missed talking to you.]
[ he glances back at the dorm, for a long moment. there's... just a lot of unfamiliar faces in there right now. nothing he's not really used to, but there's a pounding sort of uncertainty that goes with it that he doesn't like, that needles at his consciousness, that leaves him angry and miserable and hurting, because something's missing.
her sincere thoughts snap him out of it. he frowns, a little confused, but. ]
...sure, yeah. I could do that. [ She missed me? ] Just wanna hang out?
If that's alright with you. [ . . . ] It's been a little hard to chat with some of my Winters lately, so I might be feeling a little needy. I hope you don't mind too much.
[hard to talk to him, in particular but - no lies. even if he's confused, she won't lie. not when he'll remember later. but at the same time, she doesn't want to upset him with uncomfortable truths. it's a tricky dance, but luckily iris lana armelia has light feet.]
Come sit with me on the blanket? I'd hate for the camping area to go to waste.
[ like he knows a single one of the winters right now, but that's fine; the concern is still just as genuine as it would be otherwise. ichiro will come over as asked! he doesn't seem to mind, dropping down without much trouble, wincing a little when it agitates his arm injury a little more than necessary, but otherwise stretching out comfortably on the blanket.
This place is great. it's not bukuro, but - this little outside area of this dorm, is great. he doesn't know if winter really feels like home, or if it ever will, but it's definitely been pretty nice, while he's been here. ]
[she shoots him a little bit of a look when he agitates his injury - before she just sighs and... gathers her legs up closer to her, hugging them to herself as she looks at him.
and then she just laughs to herself.]
Let me be the one to take care of you for a bit?
[in the end, she feels like she'll always ask him for the same thing.]
[ he - laughs? a little surprised. Whoa, that was right out of a shoujo. ]
-- I. Yeah? Sure, if you wanna - that's really sweet. Heh. [ the smile on his face is boyish and a little sheepish - he lifts his hand up to rub the back of his neck, a little embarrassed. ] Don't feel like you have to, though...
[I think I prefer josei manga? sorry she can't even stop herself
but she smiles anyway, laughing too.]
I'm not a person who can be forced to do things I don't want to, so don't worry. [It's gotten me in a bit of trouble lately.]
... but I mean it. You had a little bit of a complicated look on your face earlier - at the door. I don't want to pry but... well, I'm here if you have anything you might have on your mind...
[ his thoughts go ! like a puppy about josei, and it's almost blatantly clear he wants to follow that train of thought into conversation, but iris keeps going so he doesn't shutting his mouth.
and... yeah.
ichiro frowns, a little. some of the cheer falls off of his face, and he glances away, rubbing the back of his neck a little more. ] I... don't wanna bug you with that. 's nothin, not a big deal.
[ My name is Ichiro Yamada. I'm nineteen years old. I'm from Ikebukuro Division. I have... I had... ]
[ he says, eventually. if she's got something to do for him, too, then - it's probably fine. he frowns, dropping his hand and moving to tuck it in his pocket, curling tight around his wallet. ]
...Just... feel like I forgot something really important. That's all. People keep telling me I've forgotten things. Most of it, I figure they just got me mistaken for someone else, you know? But...
[ ...but that guy said i had brothers. i don't. do i? it feels like i should. but i don't. ] ... I dunno.
... I've forgotten some people too - before. It felt... strange, especially once it all came back. Like there are people who are your whole world, who you'd do anything for and... you can't quite place their names or faces when you're in the middle of it. Like a part of you goes missing, but you can never exactly place a finger on what. But it's frustrating, when people try to tell you something you don't have, because in that moment it doesn't feel like it's yours...
And you can't be who they want you to be, through no fault of your own.
[ what if they're right? what if that guy - he said they were my entire world? what if i forgot them? what kind of a scumbag would i be?
the emotion rises up quick, too; ichiro swallows, and looks away from iris, down at the blanket or anywhere else, thumbing at the worn leather of his wallet. thinking about those pictures that the girl showed him. don't you know them? ]
I'm missing something big. If they're right. [ he's missing a lot of things. but nothing in the world will ever take up as big and important as a place in ichiro yamada's life than his baby brothers, who right now, he wouldn't recognize if they walked across winter's front lawn. ] 's exactly like that.
[ . . . . she'll shift a little closer then, just so that she can rest a hand on his uninjured arm - if only for a grounding purpose. just so that he doesn't feel like he's alone, holding onto this.]
... if they're right - it's not your fault. [soft, and certain.] And... it won't last forever. If there's something that's been taken from you, then - we're going to get it back. I won't let it stay gone forever.
[ . . . ]
The people who are meant to be in your life will always find a way back.
[ there's a stirring of memory, there, at the edge of his head. something he doesn't know, something he doesn't recognize - his brow furrows, just briefly, like he's trying to grasp onto it, but it dances just out of his reach.
... so, ultimately, he has to decide that answer without any memories of the kind of people who mattered.
....there must have been people who mattered, once. to be so lonely, is... ]
...I hope so. [ is his answer. I've always been so lonely.
If they're right, and I forgot... then that means I had family.
.... ] I think I do believe in it, yeah.
[ ultimately, he's an optimist. despite everything that this place has thrown at him, it's something ichiro has never let go of. he wants the best for others, and... hope is a commodity, here, but it's one he's done his best never to lose sight of. ]
ultimately this feeling is the difference between viola and iris. for viola, who's forgotten her chosen family, the people who she's had all her life, the ones who motivate her to keep her fief as prosperous as it is, and who she will protect with everything she has - there is only this empty feeling. and iris sees it now, in ichiro.
. . . . ]
I know so. [in response to his hope - ] It will come back to you. I promise.
... someone told me once, that it's worth it, to try to make a family too - if you think you might not have one. [an echo of a voice - "Family - real family, blood or not - is something everyone deserves."] ... I didn't believe him at the time but... I was wrong.
Even if it feels a little lost now... I think you will find your family again soon - and they will find you.
[I've found you. And I won't let you be alone.]
... I think you're the type of person who draws people in, one way or another.
[ has he ever even known real family? there was an orphanage. it’s fuzzy. he remembers the war, the party of words takeover, but everything is so fuzzy in between, like all of the faces have even replaced with static. even thinking about his ikebukuro - he can’t remember a single person who lives there.
(that’s the trouble with a curse like this. who hasn’t made an impact on Ichiro? Does he know a single person neutrally? he feels so big that it’s an impossibility, and now what’s left behind is just - empty.
to make a family seems nice. he turns to look at her again, just a little soulful, a little lost puppy. ]
.... haha. [ drawing people in? Me? ] Maybe. ‘S good advice.
[ is he that kind of person?
does he even know?
Ichiro’s quiet for a second longer, taking that in. ] .... I’ll try. I’m gonna figure out what’s wrong, somehow. [ and hope maybe all those people told the truth. Right now, that little hope is all he has . ]
[ . . . . it must be difficult. she pauses for a moment at that, before she gives him a small smile and reaches out to just brush his bangs out of his eyes when he gives her that sad puppy look - though she pulls back soon after.]
... I'll never lie to you. I promise. So that's why... I'm sure you're going to get through this. You're going to figure it out, and then you'll get back everything that might've been taken from you.
Just... don't forget you're not alone on your way there. If there's something weighing you down, you can share the weight with me.
I still care about you very much, after all, and I'll be sad to be - [forgotten] - ignored.
[ he shifts a little, turning to look at her. Ichiro’s expression is soft, even— still a little sad, because there’s something impossibly miserable about an Ichiro who has lost everything like this - but, it lightens, and he ducks his head. ]
....’m pretty bad at ignoring stuff. [ usually in a bad way. there are many situations a young Ichiro probably could’ve stayed out of if he just stayed in his lane. like this, he’s more like he was back then - missing his heart, but still alive. angry and quiet and a little lost. it’s temporary, though - and ultimately, his kind heart always shines through. ]
...thanks, Iris. [ very genuine. very warm. the unfamiliar warmth of having someone who cares seeps into his blood. ] I’m gonna try.
[ she is being so nice to him? What did he do to deserve this. he doesn’t know. Ichiro smiles at her though, soft. a little shyer than usual, but it’s there. ] Heh. You’ve got a lot of confidence in me. [ I’ll do what I can to not let you down.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
by which i mean, he's coming back from getting a coke from the cafeteria, still just feeling off, but not... well. he's fine. it's whatever. as he's approaching winter, though, a girl calls his name? he glances over while he's digging out his student ID to get in. ]
Uh, hey. Thanks? [ Forgot how many students there technically are here... ]
no subject
and then her thoughts go so carefully, carefully blank. she pauses a little bit at this, as though weighing her options and then gives him a smile.]
... You're welcome.
Say... I don't mean to keep you if you have somewhere to be - but may I introduce myself?
no subject
Sure. Sounds like you already know me, huh? [ It's not like I do that many odd jobs around here, but, that's not that abnormal. ]
no subject
... You are a person who is well-loved everywhere you go, it seems.
I'm Iris. Iris Lana Armelia. [a beat] And it is a little bit my business - to know who you are. I'm your Dorm Head. So... please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
no subject
but! he's perfectly content to take this introduction, and then does a polite little bow. ] Iris. Nice to meet you. You already know my name, but it's polite, so... Ichiro, Ichiro Yamada.
[ with a smile! it's warm and bright. ] Dorm head.. oh, yeah. You're in charge of this place, yeah? Well, don't work yourself too hard. If you need any help around the dorm, lemme know. I've got at least one working arm, right now, and plenty of experience.
[ some things never, ever change. ichiro's immediate reach for kindness, for helping others, is one of them. talk about deja vu. ]
no subject
. . . though as he completes his introduction, it inspires a little bit of a laugh from her, fond and kind. You really are this kind of person through and through.]
Hmm... Maybe not help but - I was just taking a moment outside? Are you busy? The sky is very pretty today and... I was just thinking it was getting a little quiet with just me, and I prefer when things are a bit rowdy.
[and her traitorous thoughts, plaintive and sincere: I want to talk to you. I already missed talking to you.]
no subject
her sincere thoughts snap him out of it. he frowns, a little confused, but. ]
...sure, yeah. I could do that. [ She missed me? ] Just wanna hang out?
no subject
[hard to talk to him, in particular but - no lies. even if he's confused, she won't lie. not when he'll remember later. but at the same time, she doesn't want to upset him with uncomfortable truths. it's a tricky dance, but luckily iris lana armelia has light feet.]
Come sit with me on the blanket? I'd hate for the camping area to go to waste.
no subject
[ like he knows a single one of the winters right now, but that's fine; the concern is still just as genuine as it would be otherwise. ichiro will come over as asked! he doesn't seem to mind, dropping down without much trouble, wincing a little when it agitates his arm injury a little more than necessary, but otherwise stretching out comfortably on the blanket.
This place is great. it's not bukuro, but - this little outside area of this dorm, is great. he doesn't know if winter really feels like home, or if it ever will, but it's definitely been pretty nice, while he's been here. ]
no subject
and then she just laughs to herself.]
Let me be the one to take care of you for a bit?
[in the end, she feels like she'll always ask him for the same thing.]
no subject
-- I. Yeah? Sure, if you wanna - that's really sweet. Heh. [ the smile on his face is boyish and a little sheepish - he lifts his hand up to rub the back of his neck, a little embarrassed. ] Don't feel like you have to, though...
no subject
but she smiles anyway, laughing too.]
I'm not a person who can be forced to do things I don't want to, so don't worry. [It's gotten me in a bit of trouble lately.]
... but I mean it. You had a little bit of a complicated look on your face earlier - at the door. I don't want to pry but... well, I'm here if you have anything you might have on your mind...
no subject
and... yeah.
ichiro frowns, a little. some of the cheer falls off of his face, and he glances away, rubbing the back of his neck a little more. ] I... don't wanna bug you with that. 's nothin, not a big deal.
[ My name is Ichiro Yamada. I'm nineteen years old. I'm from Ikebukuro Division. I have... I had... ]
no subject
Anything that's on your mind is a big deal to me. Nothing you can say would ever bug me.
[You could never hurt me.]
... I want to help you, too - if you'd let me. [ . . . ] And then... maybe I have a small request after.
no subject
Alright.
[ he says, eventually. if she's got something to do for him, too, then - it's probably fine. he frowns, dropping his hand and moving to tuck it in his pocket, curling tight around his wallet. ]
...Just... feel like I forgot something really important. That's all. People keep telling me I've forgotten things. Most of it, I figure they just got me mistaken for someone else, you know? But...
[ ...but that guy said i had brothers. i don't. do i? it feels like i should. but i don't. ] ... I dunno.
no subject
... I've forgotten some people too - before. It felt... strange, especially once it all came back. Like there are people who are your whole world, who you'd do anything for and... you can't quite place their names or faces when you're in the middle of it. Like a part of you goes missing, but you can never exactly place a finger on what. But it's frustrating, when people try to tell you something you don't have, because in that moment it doesn't feel like it's yours...
And you can't be who they want you to be, through no fault of your own.
[When all you want to be is enough.]
Is it... like that?
no subject
...yeah.
[ what if they're right? what if that guy - he said they were my entire world? what if i forgot them? what kind of a scumbag would i be?
the emotion rises up quick, too; ichiro swallows, and looks away from iris, down at the blanket or anywhere else, thumbing at the worn leather of his wallet. thinking about those pictures that the girl showed him. don't you know them? ]
I'm missing something big. If they're right. [ he's missing a lot of things. but nothing in the world will ever take up as big and important as a place in ichiro yamada's life than his baby brothers, who right now, he wouldn't recognize if they walked across winter's front lawn. ] 's exactly like that.
no subject
... if they're right - it's not your fault. [soft, and certain.] And... it won't last forever. If there's something that's been taken from you, then - we're going to get it back. I won't let it stay gone forever.
[ . . . ]
The people who are meant to be in your life will always find a way back.
Do you believe in that sort of thing?
no subject
... so, ultimately, he has to decide that answer without any memories of the kind of people who mattered.
....there must have been people who mattered, once. to be so lonely, is... ]
...I hope so. [ is his answer. I've always been so lonely.
If they're right, and I forgot... then that means I had family.
.... ] I think I do believe in it, yeah.
[ ultimately, he's an optimist. despite everything that this place has thrown at him, it's something ichiro has never let go of. he wants the best for others, and... hope is a commodity, here, but it's one he's done his best never to lose sight of. ]
no subject
ultimately this feeling is the difference between viola and iris. for viola, who's forgotten her chosen family, the people who she's had all her life, the ones who motivate her to keep her fief as prosperous as it is, and who she will protect with everything she has - there is only this empty feeling. and iris sees it now, in ichiro.
. . . . ]
I know so. [in response to his hope - ] It will come back to you. I promise.
... someone told me once, that it's worth it, to try to make a family too - if you think you might not have one. [an echo of a voice - "Family - real family, blood or not - is something everyone deserves."] ... I didn't believe him at the time but... I was wrong.
Even if it feels a little lost now... I think you will find your family again soon - and they will find you.
[I've found you. And I won't let you be alone.]
... I think you're the type of person who draws people in, one way or another.
no subject
(that’s the trouble with a curse like this. who hasn’t made an impact on Ichiro? Does he know a single person neutrally? he feels so big that it’s an impossibility, and now what’s left behind is just - empty.
to make a family seems nice. he turns to look at her again, just a little soulful, a little lost puppy. ]
.... haha. [ drawing people in? Me? ] Maybe. ‘S good advice.
[ is he that kind of person?
does he even know?
Ichiro’s quiet for a second longer, taking that in. ] .... I’ll try. I’m gonna figure out what’s wrong, somehow. [ and hope maybe all those people told the truth. Right now, that little hope is all he has . ]
no subject
... I'll never lie to you. I promise. So that's why... I'm sure you're going to get through this. You're going to figure it out, and then you'll get back everything that might've been taken from you.
Just... don't forget you're not alone on your way there. If there's something weighing you down, you can share the weight with me.
I still care about you very much, after all, and I'll be sad to be - [forgotten] - ignored.
no subject
....’m pretty bad at ignoring stuff. [ usually in a bad way. there are many situations a young Ichiro probably could’ve stayed out of if he just stayed in his lane. like this, he’s more like he was back then - missing his heart, but still alive. angry and quiet and a little lost. it’s temporary, though - and ultimately, his kind heart always shines through. ]
...thanks, Iris. [ very genuine. very warm. the unfamiliar warmth of having someone who cares seeps into his blood. ] I’m gonna try.
no subject
You're welcome - I just... I heard recently that trying is enough - and... because you are you, I think that trying also means that you will succeed.
[You're already enough.]
. . . I suppose I have a request that I'm meant to share with you now, in exchange?
no subject
and - oh! the request. that surprises him. ]
...oh. Sure, yeah. What’s up?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)