I rolled a 1 for Molly so he gets stuck in the hole before Sakyou can even try to follow after him. Maybe if Sakyou pushes him through really hard, Molly can pop out on the other side...?
In the meantime, as Sakyou briefly ignores Molly's plight and looks around, he can find... uno G.]
[He's taking this one single fuckin gold I GUESS!!! And then staring at Molly's stuck ass, frowning.]
Brace yourself, then.
[Because the good news about Molly being the one who's stuck is that Sakyou can utilize his freakish arm strength that does not at all match his beanpole arms to try shoving him through.]
[While Sakyou stares at Molly's stuck ass, Molly might... feel something fidgeting in his pockets? Hm.
Anyway, Sakyou can push Molly through, although Molly's probably getting some scrapes and cuts in the process. When he pops out free and stumbles at the other end, though, he'll see a cackling goblin running off.
Hey, wait, is that Molly's sad friend letter and purikura in its hands?
Anyhow, dainty Sakyou can pass through the hole if he wants. Actually, I'm kidding. I rolled for him too and he got a 5 so Molly might have to pull him through.]
[WHAT THE HELL HIS STUFF!!!! Well. Molly's shaking off being pushed through a too tight hole, complaining a little about how one of his horns got scraped and isn't paying attention but when that fantasy-racist goblin runs off laughing he absolutely notices - whipping around patting his pockets down and finding HIS SHIT missing.]
What the-- Oi! Fuck you! Fine then, keep it! Fuck!
[He doesn't mean this it's just. What can you do. Just dead-eyeing Sakyou getting stuck in the hole.]
... Seriously?
[I guess just. Grabbing and tugging him? Unfortunately, his strength score isn't that high.]
[STOP IT'S NOT HIS FAULT THEIR HOLE IS SO TIGHT. It's fine, Sakyou will also aid in this rescue effort by trying to help wiggle himself free like a zombie clawing out of the earth. At some point he shoots his sword a scathing look too, like it is HINDERING his ESCAPE (perhaps).]
It's— If it doesn't work, then go get your things back and I'll catch up.
[He didn't see what the hell that goblin stole okay ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT MOLLY'S MISSING SHIT AND THERE'S A CACKLING GOBLIN RUNNING OFF WITH IT. He's also clearly not a jrpg because he doesn't know what a foolass move splitting the party is.]
[I rolled a 9 but I'll take pity on you and say Molly pulls Sakyou out. However, my pity stops here, because when Sakyou comes popping out, he'll land on top of Molly in what's basically a ground kabedon.
Anyway, that aside, the running goblin left a trail of trash in its wake. Hm, wonder what the source of the well trash might be.]
[Being a government assigned omega, Molly just instantly accepts the kabedoning and grins at Sakyou again, wondering for a brief, terrifying moment if ... they really are in love?
But then he shoves him off and gets up, though at least he holds a hand out after to help him to his feet.]
[Meanwhile, Sakyou's emotional spread seemingly goes from surprised to disgruntled to surprised back to disgruntled as he's just falling and being shoved all over the place. The kabedon doki fairy refuses to visit.
HE GIVES MOLLY'S HAND AN EQUALLY SCATHING LOOK but takes the offered help anyway, gently brushing himself off once he's back on his feet and looking out after this trail o' garbage.]
...Well, then. We can both go and fetch your belongings together? It won't be much of a difficult task to follow that...
[Time to nyoom after this nasty goblin WHERE IS IT KEEPING ALL OF THIS TRASH.]
[Following after the goblin takes them deeper into the cavern, before it empties out into a larger space that seems to be... the treasure room? Throne room?
For standing before them is the Goblin King, a giant red-haired goblin in a clown outfit and a star mark and tear mark on his face. For the record, this was not in my notes until Aki willed it.
Anyway, I don't remember anything about Bungee Gum so Hisokablin is just Luffy now as his arm stretches forward like rubber to try and punch Molly and Sakyou.
The other, lesser goblins cackle. Also, behind Hisokablin is what looks to be a blue portal. Hm.]
[taking one fuckin' look at the Goblin King who doesn't look a single bit like David Bowie, feeling immeasurable disappointment, and then immediately getting fucking punched because he was thinking about that instead of avoiding getting punched.]
Motherfucker--
[Okay, you know what? Is there any fucking treasure in here that's actually treasure? Or just TRASH.]
[GOODNIGHT SWEET MOLLY Sakyou has no such distractions going on so uh unfortunately he immediately unsheathes his sword to try slashing at Hisokablin's arm as it zooms by with its punching intentions.
Goblins aren't demons but look. Stab? Stab??]
Why are you all carrying around so much garbage?! [Is this what's important here. I like that both of them are ignoring the portal.]
[There is no treasure. Just trash and scrunched up balls of paper by the portal.
Sakyou slices the arm off! ... Alas, it just reattaches itself after, before it tries to pick Sakyou up to toss him at Molly. Meanwhile, the other goblins start pelting them with trash.]
[Well just as new friends arrive, Molly is RUDELY just trying to dodge the flying Sakyou and leaving him to his fate (hitting the ground), because he's a little busy.]
Fuck, seriously? More goblins?
[Get it that's what Caleb and Dimitri look like. Just horrible little men. Dragging his claws across his shoulder until blood appears and then bringing that gold sword up to drag across it in one motion - it freezes into a blade with a shck! of ice sounds. I don't know. Whatever ice sounds it. IT'S SHARP NOW IS MY POINT.]
[BYE HE'S JUST FLYING fortunately Sakyou is used to being flung around on the battlefield and is also incredibly sturdy, so even hitting the ground instead of a Molly doesn't deter him for long.
He's back on his feet soon after! And if any of these nasty trash-throwing goblins is within arm's reach he's absolutely going to attempt to bonk them over the noggin with the back of his sword's hilt just to have less goblin throwing trash.]
What—?! [HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A GOBLIN IS-- But he'll blink in the direction of the portal??? Oh......... sirs.]
[Getting to his feet unsteadily? Looking around for his sweet Silber and Struesel? Thank god they're safe. Looking around next for his sweet Dimitri? Thank god.
He glances at Molly and Sakyou, frowning - they just ran into a fake Yamato, after all - but also glances at the goblins. Bad?]
What are you two doing down here?
[He's also going for his cocoon in his pocket in case they have to fight but like. It's just goblins, so he probably doesn't need to waste the spell slot?]
[ He probably landed at the bottom of this pile, so he's just going to take a second to gather himself and get to his feet. They've gone from some sort of lab to a trash heap.
At least he has his new family, Caleb and their adorable gem thief cats. ]
More fakes? Or is this our party of four...?
[ He'll stab a goblin if it gets close, don't test him, trash beasts. ]
[Between all of these fuckin people and their weird weapons and powers, the goblins decide to retreat, as much as Hisokablin wants to keep fighting. They gather as much trash in their arms as they can before fleeing into the ether.
... Mission accomplished, probably? Hopefully they won't cause any more trash problems, so you can likely leave the well now.
Fancy seeing you here ... ? We're doing normal things. Going down wells because crying maidens told us to and such.
[Wow did he just waste his power on this coward goblin? That's fine, whatever, it lasts until a long rest BUT STILL. He keeps it out though. Look, he's been warned about these ... adventures.]
I'm fairly certain I'm not a fake. Unless you're a fake. Sakyou, you're not a fake, right? I forgot to ask when we first got here.
[Said as he watches these coward goblins flee... FROWNING. But whatever, he'll just start brushing off some of the nasty goblin garbage that probably got on him while they were being pelted. Stinky.]
If we're all truly here though, I wonder why we started out separately instead of together? Has that happened yet...?
[Apparently they're going to have to go back through the hole, though... Or at least he looks back in that direction.]
We should probably tell her that they likely won't come back, if they're that easy to scare off.
[He's sort of frowning at both of them, a little uncertain. They don't seem the way Yamato did, clearly playing a role in a script? On the other hand, the fact that it's Mollymauk gives him a lot of pause. He's wary, but for now. . . ]
Were you following some sort of script? We had to answer questions and do a dance and got assigned a silly story to play out.
[ Sounds like what a fake would say. But Caleb has seemed real, and four people has been the pattern so far, so he'll go with it as they head to the hole, which Dimitri is definitely eyeing with some uncertainty. ]
Yes, we were in a great deal of debt and sent on some sort of quest. Though the area we started in was much different from... [ ??? does this even look like a well ] whatever pile of garbage this is.
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I rolled a 1 for Molly so he gets stuck in the hole before Sakyou can even try to follow after him. Maybe if Sakyou pushes him through really hard, Molly can pop out on the other side...?
In the meantime, as Sakyou briefly ignores Molly's plight and looks around, he can find... uno G.]
DEBT: -1 G
TOTAL DEBT: 1,---,---
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A little help here?
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Brace yourself, then.
[Because the good news about Molly being the one who's stuck is that Sakyou can utilize his freakish arm strength that does not at all match his beanpole arms to try shoving him through.]
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Anyway, Sakyou can push Molly through, although Molly's probably getting some scrapes and cuts in the process. When he pops out free and stumbles at the other end, though, he'll see a cackling goblin running off.
Hey, wait, is that Molly's sad friend letter and purikura in its hands?
Anyhow, dainty Sakyou can pass through the hole if he wants. Actually, I'm kidding. I rolled for him too and he got a 5 so Molly might have to pull him through.]
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What the-- Oi! Fuck you! Fine then, keep it! Fuck!
[He doesn't mean this it's just. What can you do. Just dead-eyeing Sakyou getting stuck in the hole.]
... Seriously?
[I guess just. Grabbing and tugging him? Unfortunately, his strength score isn't that high.]
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It's— If it doesn't work, then go get your things back and I'll catch up.
[He didn't see what the hell that goblin stole okay ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT MOLLY'S MISSING SHIT AND THERE'S A CACKLING GOBLIN RUNNING OFF WITH IT. He's also clearly not a jrpg because he doesn't know what a foolass move splitting the party is.]
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Anyway, that aside, the running goblin left a trail of trash in its wake. Hm, wonder what the source of the well trash might be.]
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But then he shoves him off and gets up, though at least he holds a hand out after to help him to his feet.]
Don't split the team. Never works out well.
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HE GIVES MOLLY'S HAND AN EQUALLY SCATHING LOOK but takes the offered help anyway, gently brushing himself off once he's back on his feet and looking out after this trail o' garbage.]
...Well, then. We can both go and fetch your belongings together? It won't be much of a difficult task to follow that...
[Time to nyoom after this nasty goblin WHERE IS IT KEEPING ALL OF THIS TRASH.]
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For standing before them is the Goblin King, a giant red-haired goblin in a clown outfit and a star mark and tear mark on his face. For the record, this was not in my notes until Aki willed it.
Anyway, I don't remember anything about Bungee Gum so Hisokablin is just Luffy now as his arm stretches forward like rubber to try and punch Molly and Sakyou.
The other, lesser goblins cackle. Also, behind Hisokablin is what looks to be a blue portal. Hm.]
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Motherfucker--
[Okay, you know what? Is there any fucking treasure in here that's actually treasure? Or just TRASH.]
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Goblins aren't demons but look. Stab? Stab??]
Why are you all carrying around so much garbage?! [Is this what's important here. I like that both of them are ignoring the portal.]
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Sakyou slices the arm off! ... Alas, it just reattaches itself after, before it tries to pick Sakyou up to toss him at Molly. Meanwhile, the other goblins start pelting them with trash.]
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Cats, on the other hand, always land on their feet (?), so their two robo cats gracefully come through.]
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Fuck, seriously? More goblins?
[Get it that's what Caleb and Dimitri look like. Just horrible little men. Dragging his claws across his shoulder until blood appears and then bringing that gold sword up to drag across it in one motion - it freezes into a blade with a shck! of ice sounds. I don't know. Whatever ice sounds it. IT'S SHARP NOW IS MY POINT.]
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He's back on his feet soon after! And if any of these nasty trash-throwing goblins is within arm's reach he's absolutely going to attempt to bonk them over the noggin with the back of his sword's hilt just to have less goblin throwing trash.]
What—?! [HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A GOBLIN IS-- But he'll blink in the direction of the portal??? Oh......... sirs.]
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He glances at Molly and Sakyou, frowning - they just ran into a fake Yamato, after all - but also glances at the goblins. Bad?]
What are you two doing down here?
[He's also going for his cocoon in his pocket in case they have to fight but like. It's just goblins, so he probably doesn't need to waste the spell slot?]
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At least he has his new family, Caleb and their adorable gem thief cats. ]
More fakes? Or is this our party of four...?
[ He'll stab a goblin if it gets close, don't test him, trash beasts. ]
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... Mission accomplished, probably? Hopefully they won't cause any more trash problems, so you can likely leave the well now.
(Yes, this means going back through the hole.)]
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[Wow did he just waste his power on this coward goblin? That's fine, whatever, it lasts until a long rest BUT STILL. He keeps it out though. Look, he's been warned about these ... adventures.]
I'm fairly certain I'm not a fake. Unless you're a fake. Sakyou, you're not a fake, right? I forgot to ask when we first got here.
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[Said as he watches these coward goblins flee... FROWNING. But whatever, he'll just start brushing off some of the nasty goblin garbage that probably got on him while they were being pelted. Stinky.]
If we're all truly here though, I wonder why we started out separately instead of together? Has that happened yet...?
[Apparently they're going to have to go back through the hole, though... Or at least he looks back in that direction.]
We should probably tell her that they likely won't come back, if they're that easy to scare off.
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Were you following some sort of script? We had to answer questions and do a dance and got assigned a silly story to play out.
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Yes, we were in a great deal of debt and sent on some sort of quest. Though the area we started in was much different from... [ ??? does this even look like a well ] whatever pile of garbage this is.
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Molly rolls a 19, so with his previous practice of sliding into holes and out of them, he goes through smoothly.
Caleb rolls a 18 and expertly goes through.
Dimitri rolls a 10, so he'll get stuck for a bit but he can probably get out on his own after a lot of wiggling.
Meanwhile, Sakyou, on the other hand, gets a 5. Sucks to suck! Someone's going to have to pull him out.]
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We got asked who we prefer to fuck!
[Just. Watching Sakyou get stuck.]
And we're married now.
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