[she's worried after him - but if she gets up, she might just lock the door instead of letting him in. she's coiled even more tightly than the week before, having already changed into a nightgown and a robe, but she's seated by the windowsill where there's a small seating cove, gaze focused out the window.
a few things have been added to her room since he last came in - a hand drawn sketch of her and crow put up on the wall, a few more pictures of winter dorm, and some frames that hold pressed flowers - a daisy chain, and a flower crown]
Your jacket is by my desk.
[it's cleaned now! it's draped over the chair by her desk.]
[ the vibes are bad, my dude. his hand pauses on the door for a second, but he opens it and then shuts it behind him, leaning on the door just for a second, hand lingering on the doorknob. just a moment to take it all in - the room itself, but the emotional weight of the day, too. of the secrets he's now carrying, bigger than any of the secrets he's had to carry so far. of the loss of someone he called a friend, someone he thought was - that he'd just see the next day, passed out asleep somewhere stupid and snoring like a train. it hurts. it hurts his heart, too big and empathetic for this world he's been placed in.
he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and then gently pushes off the door and makes his way over. ichiro's fingers on his good hand briefly brush his jacket before he leaves it where it is, coming to settle down a decent distance away. ]
...thank you. [ quietly. about the jacket, but, probably for more than that.
...'m sorry for freaking you out all weekend. I think... they kept saying in trial we were probably screwed up in the head. I couldn't really see it, but it's starting to make a little sense, now.
[ . . . ichiro feels with all that he has - and when iris gets appropriately worked up, she goes in the exact opposite direction. she tries to keep it all locked away as tightly as possible, not letting her face betray any of her strong emotions. when he comes to approach, she gathers her legs closer to her, folding them off to the side so that he can also sit by the windowsill. her gaze finally leaves it to look at him.
she doesn't look like she's been crying - only that she's tired. so, so tired.]
... are you feeling better? That's good. I'm relieved.
[and she means that - it does seem to be one of the better pieces of news that she's received in... a while.]
...not like a three star gacha anymore, at least. [ a little sort of joke at his own expense, there, but. better's not really the right word. things still feel weird - he's off balance, not so much in a pit of self loathing and misery anymore, but maybe just starting to crawl a little out of it. (without francia standing over his pit with a shovel ready to shove him back in.)
he tilts his head a little bit to lean back against the other side of the alcove. he's tired, too - it's been an exhausting weekend, injuries aside.
after a moment: ]
...I was thinking we didn't really have to do anything. Or... talk about anything, either. [ he just didn't - he didn't want to be alone. he knows iris by now, knows the way she draws in on herself like this, and he didn't want her to be alone for that, either. ] Could just watch something, or play Animal Crossing, or - anything. I keep just cooking enough food to feed an army every Saturday to try and get my mind off of it, and I can't really - 's just not working.
[ his arm, ] It's still not anything I need. You can always say no.
[ . . . . that manages to pull a laugh out of her - quiet, but sincere. she looks back to him with sort of a challenging look.] So you're back to your limited five star gacha self.
[people would get in trouble with loan sharks to whale for ichiro, obviously. or that person who sold their car to roll for jeanne alter in fgo. but other than that, she listens quietly to his suggestions and closes her eyes again.]
... you can pick one then, and I'll play with you. Or watch with you. Whatever it is that you'd like.
[she's not particularly in the mood to come up with something herself - she feels a little bit like she wants to burn everything to the ground - but if ichiro has a suggestion, she won't mind being his player 2.]
[ stop don't talk about loan sharks his tragic backstory
anyway. he nods along to that, and leans back a little further, giving her a smaller smile. it's not quite relaxed, really, not quite bright, but that's okay. maybe it's a step in the right direction. ]
We could pick up on that side scroller we were working on. Beat up some monsters. [ take out a little frustration. forget the world for a minute. do anything that isn't what he was doing, restlessly, listlessly trying to handle the weight of his own heart. it might be nice just to set it aside for a couple hours with someone who's become impossibly important to ichiro - with someone who he knows is suffering, too.
maybe he's not the type to pursue, dramatically, confidently, but he's patient and kind, and maybe that's important, too. ]
[ . . . . she just sighs at that, nodding. she opens her eyes then and shifts, gathering her hair in her hands and moving it behind her shoulders if only to give her hands something to do. slowly, like she's uncurling after being stationary and coiled up tight for - well, a few hours. maybe longer than that.]
I suppose we could. Do you want to head toward the Game Room - or would you like me to bring it to us?
[she probably can't summon a whole tv but she can get a little screen for them to play on since it was probably on the switch]
going to snap her fingers and summon up a small screen, the switch, and two of their controllers. it's going to open up automatically to their side scroller, and she's going to offer one of the controllers out to ichiro.]
Oh. [ he says, kind of stupidly, and then just - snorts and shakes his head at his own foolishness, taking the controller from her. ] ...right, yeah. You’re amazing.
[ he already knew that, though! duh. they can get settled together and do some mindless gaming - beat the snot out of some monsters in soothing colors. maybe even just vibe and play animal crossing after too I’m not gonna make you rp through playing video games, but. he’s attentive to the game, and to iris, alike, from where’s he’s settled down - caretaking in his own right, because that shit never stops. ]
I'm sure you say that to every girl who can hand you video games on a silver platter.
[plainly. she's not going to be won over with pretty words, silly boy.
but regardless - it's video game time!! she will play with him, and... well. it's hard to say whether or not she truly eases much. there's still a lot of tension that she's carrying with her, but this gives her something else to do....
. . . . . though even as they wait for a loading screen - she will let her head rest against his shoulder on the non-injured side. and then, idly:]
.... if you volunteer to get hit at any point again, know I will be the next to personally cause you bodily injury.
[iris: is a sweetheart also iris: chooses violence]
[ that’s the thing they’re not even pretty words they’re just genuine.
anyway. is she choosing violence with resting her head on his shoulder or the threat. both? both. video games are very nice, but it doesn’t help relax him all that much either - honestly it’s just the company that does any real good. he’s hitting a save point when she says that and he doesn’t quite flinch but definitely freezes, guiltily.
busted. ]
.... haha... [ sweats ] Yeah...Think that was probably the curse talking...? That was pretty dumb, huh.
[genuine words that she reads as pretty flattery! oh miss iris who hurt you (we know exactly who hurt her)
but regardless she's just going to keep her eyes on the screen for now, and that's her sense of mercy to him. she sees for a bit.]
.... as long as it was the curse. If I hear of you attempting the same next week just because I won't be there, please know how much trouble you will be in.
[she is so quick to give out these threats i swear to god]
but the threats are admittedly fine. he probably needs someone to look after his more dumbass protagonist tendencies, especially considering he ran into a burning building on friday.
it feels like his decisions are about to become a lot more informed too, but he doesn't say anything about that for now, just absently flicking through some of the menus on the game. it's kind of hard to do this one handed, which is a reminder, in its own right. ]
...I try to. [ genuinely, ichiro does. even still, he can't not think about the field trip - about running into that fight, about jumping into trouble, over and over. much of it was instinct, the fierce desire to protect people, and thinking about what he knows, now... his voice softens a little, brows furrowing, a little quietly frustrated. ] 'm just - I'm tired of watching other people get hurt.
I probably could've... maybe... I probably could've gotten less fucked up on Thursday. [ and his heart just aches as he says so. admitting to his own stupidity is one thing, an always humbling experience, and logically, ichiro knows that field trip probably should have killed him. hope saved his life, and kept him from losing his arm.
...but he can't even look mabel in the eyes right now, and that has nothing to do with the curse. ] I was too reckless. [ and not nearly protective enough, either. ] ...'m sorry for worrying you so much.
[ . . . she listens quietly to his explanation, even though her gaze does not leave the screen. he toggles through the menu screens and she listens to the soft sound effects in the background before she speaks.]
... I forgive you. There are moments in which your body will move before your brain can catch it - and you're stronger than I am. You likely felt like you could endure more, no? ... If it's for Mabel, or another child, I would have - and already have - done the same.
[even if it upsets her to hear - she's the type of person to charge outside and face debt collectors head on despite having guards around? even for as much as it upset her... she doesn't want to be unfair when she probably would scare him about three times over, because she also has the strength of a noodle.
. . . but it reminds her a little bit, of what she's angry over. she closes her eyes then.]
... but if you're tired of watching other people get hurt, then please understand this -
[she hesitates, like she's not sure if she even wants to speak, but eventually she does - her voice soft as if it will cushion her complaints]
I am so tired of losing. I... am so tired of our family growing, only to lose more of them. Perhaps I am in no position to complain when Annie's dorm is as it is but I - [ . . . ] In my home, I am ready to go to war to protect my fief. But here, I cannot protect eleven people.
[her hands fall from the controller, they curl in her lap, her fingernails pressing crescent-shaped indents into her palms.]
So - please... It must sound selfish, and arrogant of me to make such a demand but... I don't want to lose you. Even if only for that - please don't go rushing into danger.
[ it comes up over and over - ichiro's favorite thing about iris, above all, is how much she loves her home, because in that right, they are exactly the same. the pain that iris is feeling, the anger she's feeling, are the same ones that have been haunting ichiro every day that they've been here, too. the one he broke down over on monday, frustrated and upset and angry that he couldn't do anything.
he's so used to being the protector. it's not just his job as a division leader, but his passion - protecting the little guy is what he has always lived for, no matter who that might be. even in the worst moments of his life, it's been his guiding light. watching adora just die, and finding leo's dead body on the field - that shit just burns him up inside. they've been able to fill up winter with other people as they've lost them, but each loss is so, so personal. each one hurts. and how bad it must be for iris, who is by all technicalities, the one who leads them, the one who finally came to see this place as a home?
he stops fiddling with the controls and just looks at her. affected, eyes full of his empathy, of the pain and anger of his own when she talks. for home. for their home. ]
...I'll try my best. That, I can promise.
[ i'll protect them. now, with this new responsibility placed firmly on his shoulders, he finally has a chance to, in the worst way possible. it's almost poetic - at the beginning of this place, he'd been struggling with his inability to anything but hurt people to help them, and that's going to be what has to happen. but he's going to advocate for his winters. ichiro is going to try and protect them, try to save everyone. he's going to hold onto this guilt and this burden and he is going to do something. he's not going to be the reason that iris has to be so, so angry, so hurt. he can't be. ]
...when I was in there, there was a minute when I thought I was going to die. [ he knows that little fact probably doesn't help, but. there's a point to saying it, so ichiro continues on quickly. ] At the end, something opened up all of our injuries, and I knew if I lost consciousness, I was - it was gonna be over.
... but, I made myself get up. [ like he couldn't, when samatoki went to press that switch. a cruel trick of chuuoku or not, he thinks about that moment of his life frequently. thinks about how his own weakness could have gotten his brothers killed.
there's a determined flint in his eyes as he finishes - his good hand tightens around the controller. ] I thought about my brothers, and I thought about the dorm, and I thought about you, and - I got up, and made it home.
I'm never going to get into a situation where I can't get up, again. If people are depending on me, then I'm gonna do everything it takes to make it back to them, no matter what. I'm gonna live. And I'm gonna set this place right, too, and get our family back.
[ he's gonna break down that wall, or - there is no or. he's just going to do it. ]
[ . . . . there's probably no helping that flash of anger when he talks about his injuries. the way that her eyes snap open and she looks to him, looking over his face, understanding slowly exactly where all the bloody managed to come from. looking at his injured side, a frown etching itself on her mouth as a cold rage settles over her expression.
right.
. . . .
he made it home.
that reminder, those words, manages to get her to breathe a slow, controlled breath out as she closes her eyes again. there is always something about her that acts out of spite, that will reach for cruel solutions rather than kind ones, but - it is tempered by her logic, by her attempt at restraint. ichiro is here, and he is home.
. . . . she presses her face against his shoulder for a moment. a reminder that he is here, next to her, even if she cannot be so bold as to reach for his hand or hold him close.]
.... I'm going to lose you eventually. [it's inevitable when they're all meant to go home. she knows that is when she will lose the attention of everyone here, even if she will hold their friendships close.] ... but until that day, please keep coming home. We're going to be waiting for you.
[ look, if she could go fight tanaka-san he would let it happen. tanaka-san deserves to be punched in the nose. alas, that is not the case.
ichiro watches her react to it with a similar twinge of empathy, if only because the way she tempers back feels familiar, too. a part of him is a little bit envious of the way she can pack it back in like that, because that's a skill ichiro's never really gotten to learn. his emotions have always been too loud, and his anger was always the loudest.
as she turns her face into his shoulder, he starts to set the controller down. he's not sure if he can reach out once he does, and his hand hesitates just briefly in midair, instead, but he listens to her words.
please keep coming home. with what he's now agreed to do... ]
... I will.
[ and then, he loops back around to the beginning, because that made something twinge in his chest, too. the idea of forgetting about the people who he became close to here, and just disappearing - it's so close to home.
(one day, everything was fine, and the next, kuko was furious, and hated him, and then - he was gone. sasara, too - they weren't as close, but he left out of thin air. nemu, gone missing. no closure. no goodbyes. nothing.) ]
...that paper that Dimitri and Caleb-san brought back said we'd be able to do what we talked about - move from world to world, see each other. [ he turns to face her a little further on the chaise now, too, controller abandoned. there's a sincerity to his words that's almost fierce, here. ] Do you think I'm just gonna forget about you? Iris, how could I?
[ . . . . . ? she peers up at him then, brow furrowing.]
... I don't think you'll forget. I think everyone here is too kind to forget.
[they'll reach out to each other, and they'll be friends. they'll probably talk for the rest of their lives. but - ]
But you have your brothers, and you have Ikebukuro. Perhaps, if someone wishes for it, or if we're able to win Dorm Wars, we'll see each other now and again but....
[she tilts her head]
We're going in different directions. Winter will exist as a concept, but we'll probably leave it all behind in practice. You won't be mine anymore.
[this possessiveness and intensity that she feels - she won't have any right to it anymore.]
That's... [ ... this time, that hand that hovers a little stops. he's the one to reach out, but it's gentle, and if her hand is close enough, he'll very gently cover it with his. the fierce sincerity in his voice remains. ]
- Different directions, or not, that kind of stuff doesn't just leave you.
[ it's something he believes so honestly - something he knows. he's glad she knows he wouldn't forget, at least, but to call somewhere home and then just to set it aside sounds impossible, especially when it's something so large as what this place has done to them. for ichiro to call something home isn't a small gesture, because his beloved ikebukuro is his love and his life, but isn't his heart big enough for two? he'll gather up every world he has to in his arms and hold them, to keep these important threads together, to look out for these people who have become his family, because to ichiro yamada, home and family are sometimes more than blood.
he gets the distinction. he does. he knows that maybe logically iris is just trying to prepare herself for what must feel inevitable, because - after this long, ichiro knows her.
... but god, he just wants to prove that perceived inevitability wrong. that's what he does. especially for something like this.
ichiro, always, is heartfelt, achingly, achingly sincere. ] ... I'm always gonna be yours.
[it's probably - a little comedic? she allows the touch of his hand on hers, she doesn't mind it. but then as he speaks, and he says those words to her - it feels a little like her heart stopping. the whole world pauses. her eyes widen and her breath gets caught in her throat. her heart lurches painfully in her chest and she thinks that the idea of having your heart skip a beat may sound romantic but oh god it's painful.
(which is so much of what iris thinks about love.)
she straightens up then, no longer leaning on him, and she leans back. her hand underneath his twitches like she wants to pull back there too but - she doesn't want to hurt him. she doesn't.
but her voice is soft, cautious and terrified -
(of what? what is she scared of? that he might be lying to her? or that he might be telling the truth? which feels more cruel, at this point?)]
... you shouldn't say things like that to someone like me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
... no, nothing I need.
it just sucks. to lose one of ours and not figure it out
didn't really wanna be alone - didn't want you to have to be, either.
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I'm in my room, if you still want to not be alone.
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about a minute or so later there's a knock. he was worried... so he rushed....... ]
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... you can come in.
[she's worried after him - but if she gets up, she might just lock the door instead of letting him in. she's coiled even more tightly than the week before, having already changed into a nightgown and a robe, but she's seated by the windowsill where there's a small seating cove, gaze focused out the window.
a few things have been added to her room since he last came in - a hand drawn sketch of her and crow put up on the wall, a few more pictures of winter dorm, and some frames that hold pressed flowers - a daisy chain, and a flower crown]
Your jacket is by my desk.
[it's cleaned now! it's draped over the chair by her desk.]
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he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and then gently pushes off the door and makes his way over. ichiro's fingers on his good hand briefly brush his jacket before he leaves it where it is, coming to settle down a decent distance away. ]
...thank you. [ quietly. about the jacket, but, probably for more than that.
...'m sorry for freaking you out all weekend. I think... they kept saying in trial we were probably screwed up in the head. I couldn't really see it, but it's starting to make a little sense, now.
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she doesn't look like she's been crying - only that she's tired. so, so tired.]
... are you feeling better? That's good. I'm relieved.
[and she means that - it does seem to be one of the better pieces of news that she's received in... a while.]
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he tilts his head a little bit to lean back against the other side of the alcove. he's tired, too - it's been an exhausting weekend, injuries aside.
after a moment: ]
...I was thinking we didn't really have to do anything. Or... talk about anything, either. [ he just didn't - he didn't want to be alone. he knows iris by now, knows the way she draws in on herself like this, and he didn't want her to be alone for that, either. ] Could just watch something, or play Animal Crossing, or - anything. I keep just cooking enough food to feed an army every Saturday to try and get my mind off of it, and I can't really - 's just not working.
[ his arm, ] It's still not anything I need. You can always say no.
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[people would get in trouble with loan sharks to whale for ichiro, obviously. or that person who sold their car to roll for jeanne alter in fgo. but other than that, she listens quietly to his suggestions and closes her eyes again.]
... you can pick one then, and I'll play with you. Or watch with you. Whatever it is that you'd like.
[she's not particularly in the mood to come up with something herself - she feels a little bit like she wants to burn everything to the ground - but if ichiro has a suggestion, she won't mind being his player 2.]
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anyway. he nods along to that, and leans back a little further, giving her a smaller smile. it's not quite relaxed, really, not quite bright, but that's okay. maybe it's a step in the right direction. ]
We could pick up on that side scroller we were working on. Beat up some monsters. [ take out a little frustration. forget the world for a minute. do anything that isn't what he was doing, restlessly, listlessly trying to handle the weight of his own heart. it might be nice just to set it aside for a couple hours with someone who's become impossibly important to ichiro - with someone who he knows is suffering, too.
maybe he's not the type to pursue, dramatically, confidently, but he's patient and kind, and maybe that's important, too. ]
no subject
I suppose we could. Do you want to head toward the Game Room - or would you like me to bring it to us?
[she probably can't summon a whole tv but she can get a little screen for them to play on since it was probably on the switch]
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[ stupid ]
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[she is just
going to snap her fingers and summon up a small screen, the switch, and two of their controllers. it's going to open up automatically to their side scroller, and she's going to offer one of the controllers out to ichiro.]
Does this work?
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Oh. [ he says, kind of stupidly, and then just - snorts and shakes his head at his own foolishness, taking the controller from her. ] ...right, yeah. You’re amazing.
[ he already knew that, though! duh. they can get settled together and do some mindless gaming - beat the snot out of some monsters in soothing colors. maybe even just vibe and play animal crossing after too I’m not gonna make you rp through playing video games, but. he’s attentive to the game, and to iris, alike, from where’s he’s settled down - caretaking in his own right, because that shit never stops. ]
no subject
[plainly. she's not going to be won over with pretty words, silly boy.
but regardless - it's video game time!! she will play with him, and... well. it's hard to say whether or not she truly eases much. there's still a lot of tension that she's carrying with her, but this gives her something else to do....
. . . . . though even as they wait for a loading screen - she will let her head rest against his shoulder on the non-injured side. and then, idly:]
.... if you volunteer to get hit at any point again, know I will be the next to personally cause you bodily injury.
[iris: is a sweetheart
also iris: chooses violence]
no subject
anyway. is she choosing violence with resting her head on his shoulder or the threat. both? both. video games are very nice, but it doesn’t help relax him all that much either - honestly it’s just the company that does any real good. he’s hitting a save point when she says that and he doesn’t quite flinch but definitely freezes, guiltily.
busted. ]
.... haha... [ sweats ] Yeah...Think that was probably the curse talking...? That was pretty dumb, huh.
[ please get mandi some therapy ]
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but regardless she's just going to keep her eyes on the screen for now, and that's her sense of mercy to him. she sees for a bit.]
.... as long as it was the curse. If I hear of you attempting the same next week just because I won't be there, please know how much trouble you will be in.
[she is so quick to give out these threats i swear to god]
I just want you to make informed decisions.
no subject
but the threats are admittedly fine. he probably needs someone to look after his more dumbass protagonist tendencies, especially considering he ran into a burning building on friday.
it feels like his decisions are about to become a lot more informed too, but he doesn't say anything about that for now, just absently flicking through some of the menus on the game. it's kind of hard to do this one handed, which is a reminder, in its own right. ]
...I try to. [ genuinely, ichiro does. even still, he can't not think about the field trip - about running into that fight, about jumping into trouble, over and over. much of it was instinct, the fierce desire to protect people, and thinking about what he knows, now... his voice softens a little, brows furrowing, a little quietly frustrated. ] 'm just - I'm tired of watching other people get hurt.
I probably could've... maybe... I probably could've gotten less fucked up on Thursday. [ and his heart just aches as he says so. admitting to his own stupidity is one thing, an always humbling experience, and logically, ichiro knows that field trip probably should have killed him. hope saved his life, and kept him from losing his arm.
...but he can't even look mabel in the eyes right now, and that has nothing to do with the curse. ] I was too reckless. [ and not nearly protective enough, either. ] ...'m sorry for worrying you so much.
no subject
... I forgive you. There are moments in which your body will move before your brain can catch it - and you're stronger than I am. You likely felt like you could endure more, no? ... If it's for Mabel, or another child, I would have - and already have - done the same.
[even if it upsets her to hear - she's the type of person to charge outside and face debt collectors head on despite having guards around? even for as much as it upset her... she doesn't want to be unfair when she probably would scare him about three times over, because she also has the strength of a noodle.
. . . but it reminds her a little bit, of what she's angry over. she closes her eyes then.]
... but if you're tired of watching other people get hurt, then please understand this -
[she hesitates, like she's not sure if she even wants to speak, but eventually she does - her voice soft as if it will cushion her complaints]
I am so tired of losing. I... am so tired of our family growing, only to lose more of them. Perhaps I am in no position to complain when Annie's dorm is as it is but I - [ . . . ] In my home, I am ready to go to war to protect my fief. But here, I cannot protect eleven people.
[her hands fall from the controller, they curl in her lap, her fingernails pressing crescent-shaped indents into her palms.]
So - please... It must sound selfish, and arrogant of me to make such a demand but... I don't want to lose you. Even if only for that - please don't go rushing into danger.
no subject
he's so used to being the protector. it's not just his job as a division leader, but his passion - protecting the little guy is what he has always lived for, no matter who that might be. even in the worst moments of his life, it's been his guiding light. watching adora just die, and finding leo's dead body on the field - that shit just burns him up inside. they've been able to fill up winter with other people as they've lost them, but each loss is so, so personal. each one hurts. and how bad it must be for iris, who is by all technicalities, the one who leads them, the one who finally came to see this place as a home?
he stops fiddling with the controls and just looks at her. affected, eyes full of his empathy, of the pain and anger of his own when she talks. for home. for their home. ]
...I'll try my best. That, I can promise.
[ i'll protect them. now, with this new responsibility placed firmly on his shoulders, he finally has a chance to, in the worst way possible. it's almost poetic - at the beginning of this place, he'd been struggling with his inability to anything but hurt people to help them, and that's going to be what has to happen. but he's going to advocate for his winters. ichiro is going to try and protect them, try to save everyone. he's going to hold onto this guilt and this burden and he is going to do something. he's not going to be the reason that iris has to be so, so angry, so hurt. he can't be. ]
...when I was in there, there was a minute when I thought I was going to die. [ he knows that little fact probably doesn't help, but. there's a point to saying it, so ichiro continues on quickly. ] At the end, something opened up all of our injuries, and I knew if I lost consciousness, I was - it was gonna be over.
... but, I made myself get up. [ like he couldn't, when samatoki went to press that switch. a cruel trick of chuuoku or not, he thinks about that moment of his life frequently. thinks about how his own weakness could have gotten his brothers killed.
there's a determined flint in his eyes as he finishes - his good hand tightens around the controller. ] I thought about my brothers, and I thought about the dorm, and I thought about you, and - I got up, and made it home.
I'm never going to get into a situation where I can't get up, again. If people are depending on me, then I'm gonna do everything it takes to make it back to them, no matter what. I'm gonna live. And I'm gonna set this place right, too, and get our family back.
[ he's gonna break down that wall, or - there is no or. he's just going to do it. ]
no subject
right.
. . . .
he made it home.
that reminder, those words, manages to get her to breathe a slow, controlled breath out as she closes her eyes again. there is always something about her that acts out of spite, that will reach for cruel solutions rather than kind ones, but - it is tempered by her logic, by her attempt at restraint. ichiro is here, and he is home.
. . . . she presses her face against his shoulder for a moment. a reminder that he is here, next to her, even if she cannot be so bold as to reach for his hand or hold him close.]
.... I'm going to lose you eventually. [it's inevitable when they're all meant to go home. she knows that is when she will lose the attention of everyone here, even if she will hold their friendships close.] ... but until that day, please keep coming home. We're going to be waiting for you.
[I need you to come home.]
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ichiro watches her react to it with a similar twinge of empathy, if only because the way she tempers back feels familiar, too. a part of him is a little bit envious of the way she can pack it back in like that, because that's a skill ichiro's never really gotten to learn. his emotions have always been too loud, and his anger was always the loudest.
as she turns her face into his shoulder, he starts to set the controller down. he's not sure if he can reach out once he does, and his hand hesitates just briefly in midair, instead, but he listens to her words.
please keep coming home. with what he's now agreed to do... ]
... I will.
[ and then, he loops back around to the beginning, because that made something twinge in his chest, too. the idea of forgetting about the people who he became close to here, and just disappearing - it's so close to home.
(one day, everything was fine, and the next, kuko was furious, and hated him, and then - he was gone. sasara, too - they weren't as close, but he left out of thin air. nemu, gone missing. no closure. no goodbyes. nothing.) ]
...that paper that Dimitri and Caleb-san brought back said we'd be able to do what we talked about - move from world to world, see each other. [ he turns to face her a little further on the chaise now, too, controller abandoned. there's a sincerity to his words that's almost fierce, here. ] Do you think I'm just gonna forget about you? Iris, how could I?
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... I don't think you'll forget. I think everyone here is too kind to forget.
[they'll reach out to each other, and they'll be friends. they'll probably talk for the rest of their lives. but - ]
But you have your brothers, and you have Ikebukuro. Perhaps, if someone wishes for it, or if we're able to win Dorm Wars, we'll see each other now and again but....
[she tilts her head]
We're going in different directions. Winter will exist as a concept, but we'll probably leave it all behind in practice. You won't be mine anymore.
[this possessiveness and intensity that she feels - she won't have any right to it anymore.]
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That's... [ ... this time, that hand that hovers a little stops. he's the one to reach out, but it's gentle, and if her hand is close enough, he'll very gently cover it with his. the fierce sincerity in his voice remains. ]
- Different directions, or not, that kind of stuff doesn't just leave you.
[ it's something he believes so honestly - something he knows. he's glad she knows he wouldn't forget, at least, but to call somewhere home and then just to set it aside sounds impossible, especially when it's something so large as what this place has done to them. for ichiro to call something home isn't a small gesture, because his beloved ikebukuro is his love and his life, but isn't his heart big enough for two? he'll gather up every world he has to in his arms and hold them, to keep these important threads together, to look out for these people who have become his family, because to ichiro yamada, home and family are sometimes more than blood.
he gets the distinction. he does. he knows that maybe logically iris is just trying to prepare herself for what must feel inevitable, because - after this long, ichiro knows her.
... but god, he just wants to prove that perceived inevitability wrong. that's what he does. especially for something like this.
ichiro, always, is heartfelt, achingly, achingly sincere. ] ... I'm always gonna be yours.
[ iykyk ]
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(which is so much of what iris thinks about love.)
she straightens up then, no longer leaning on him, and she leans back. her hand underneath his twitches like she wants to pull back there too but - she doesn't want to hurt him. she doesn't.
but her voice is soft, cautious and terrified -
(of what? what is she scared of? that he might be lying to her? or that he might be telling the truth? which feels more cruel, at this point?)]
... you shouldn't say things like that to someone like me.
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