[MEANWHILE SAKYOU'S ALREADY GOING FOR THE ROPE this is why his ass died more than anyone else in his first adventure.]
If it's a life or death matter, then I would feel poorly to charge for it. At the very least, it won't hurt to take a look... [MUTTERING. And then holding up the rope.]
Will you hold it, or shall I tie it to the well so we can both go down?
[Oh boy. Just leaning on the rope for a second to prevent him from rocketing down there immediately.]
Work for free has value and all, but apply it when it matters, love. Some people have more than they need, some people need everything they have, and we, personally, are a million and a half gold in debt. Some common sense should apply.
So our fee is a discounted 999,999 gold. And go ahead and tie it to the well, suppose I'm going down there.
Anyway he's talking to a lad who has never cared about money a day in his life for various and completely opposing reasons. He glances over to this troubled lady and her stinky well before looking back to Molly.]
...Less than that, at least.
[He'll tie said rope to the well after being given the go-ahead though, and immediately swing his legs over the well's edge so he can get ready to rappel down as soon as their funky little deal is closed.]
You might be more than a million and a half G in debt now, but you don't know that yet. Anyway. This woman is absolutely not paying that much.
Once they're down there, they'll hit a patch of stone they can walk on! In true RPG fashion, there is, like, a whole area in this well. Imagine if I just dumped you in water, though.
But there's random trash around here. Where did it come from? Who the fuck is littering in their source of drinkable water. With that said, if they look around, they might see a crack in the well wall that seems just large enough for a person to squeeze through, maybe.]
[Fortunately for me Iāve watched Critical Role and know that sometimes demons and devils are just randomly in your local well. Molly doesnāt know! He died before that arc. But heās still hovering over his sword at his belt before he decides he isnāt going to take it out yet.]
Am I going into the creepy hole first? I guess Iām going in first.
[Heās complaining but without waiting for an answer, sure. Heāll squeeze into the hole. Haha. Holes.]
[shoulda dumped them in the stink water tbh ALSO HOW DID THEY ALREADY GET INTO MORE DEBT HELP. Wow though the demons in Sakyou's world don't just bum around in wells though, he's also entirely unprepared for Demon Hisoka that's waiting for them.
He's making a little bit of a frustrated noise as Molly just NYOOMS.]
Don't just run off on your own—!
[Says he who was entirely ready to just go rope-nyooming away at a moment's notice... But!! He will. Follow Molly through the hole... after giving this area a cursory glance-over, just to make sure there aren't any gatling guns. Or shiny garbage that might be money in disguise that they can use to chip away at their towering debt.]
I rolled a 1 for Molly so he gets stuck in the hole before Sakyou can even try to follow after him. Maybe if Sakyou pushes him through really hard, Molly can pop out on the other side...?
In the meantime, as Sakyou briefly ignores Molly's plight and looks around, he can find... uno G.]
[He's taking this one single fuckin gold I GUESS!!! And then staring at Molly's stuck ass, frowning.]
Brace yourself, then.
[Because the good news about Molly being the one who's stuck is that Sakyou can utilize his freakish arm strength that does not at all match his beanpole arms to try shoving him through.]
[While Sakyou stares at Molly's stuck ass, Molly might... feel something fidgeting in his pockets? Hm.
Anyway, Sakyou can push Molly through, although Molly's probably getting some scrapes and cuts in the process. When he pops out free and stumbles at the other end, though, he'll see a cackling goblin running off.
Hey, wait, is that Molly's sad friend letter and purikura in its hands?
Anyhow, dainty Sakyou can pass through the hole if he wants. Actually, I'm kidding. I rolled for him too and he got a 5 so Molly might have to pull him through.]
[WHAT THE HELL HIS STUFF!!!! Well. Molly's shaking off being pushed through a too tight hole, complaining a little about how one of his horns got scraped and isn't paying attention but when that fantasy-racist goblin runs off laughing he absolutely notices - whipping around patting his pockets down and finding HIS SHIT missing.]
What the-- Oi! Fuck you! Fine then, keep it! Fuck!
[He doesn't mean this it's just. What can you do. Just dead-eyeing Sakyou getting stuck in the hole.]
... Seriously?
[I guess just. Grabbing and tugging him? Unfortunately, his strength score isn't that high.]
[STOP IT'S NOT HIS FAULT THEIR HOLE IS SO TIGHT. It's fine, Sakyou will also aid in this rescue effort by trying to help wiggle himself free like a zombie clawing out of the earth. At some point he shoots his sword a scathing look too, like it is HINDERING his ESCAPE (perhaps).]
It's— If it doesn't work, then go get your things back and I'll catch up.
[He didn't see what the hell that goblin stole okay ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT MOLLY'S MISSING SHIT AND THERE'S A CACKLING GOBLIN RUNNING OFF WITH IT. He's also clearly not a jrpg because he doesn't know what a foolass move splitting the party is.]
[I rolled a 9 but I'll take pity on you and say Molly pulls Sakyou out. However, my pity stops here, because when Sakyou comes popping out, he'll land on top of Molly in what's basically a ground kabedon.
Anyway, that aside, the running goblin left a trail of trash in its wake. Hm, wonder what the source of the well trash might be.]
[Being a government assigned omega, Molly just instantly accepts the kabedoning and grins at Sakyou again, wondering for a brief, terrifying moment if ... they really are in love?
But then he shoves him off and gets up, though at least he holds a hand out after to help him to his feet.]
[Meanwhile, Sakyou's emotional spread seemingly goes from surprised to disgruntled to surprised back to disgruntled as he's just falling and being shoved all over the place. The kabedon doki fairy refuses to visit.
HE GIVES MOLLY'S HAND AN EQUALLY SCATHING LOOK but takes the offered help anyway, gently brushing himself off once he's back on his feet and looking out after this trail o' garbage.]
...Well, then. We can both go and fetch your belongings together? It won't be much of a difficult task to follow that...
[Time to nyoom after this nasty goblin WHERE IS IT KEEPING ALL OF THIS TRASH.]
[Following after the goblin takes them deeper into the cavern, before it empties out into a larger space that seems to be... the treasure room? Throne room?
For standing before them is the Goblin King, a giant red-haired goblin in a clown outfit and a star mark and tear mark on his face. For the record, this was not in my notes until Aki willed it.
Anyway, I don't remember anything about Bungee Gum so Hisokablin is just Luffy now as his arm stretches forward like rubber to try and punch Molly and Sakyou.
The other, lesser goblins cackle. Also, behind Hisokablin is what looks to be a blue portal. Hm.]
[taking one fuckin' look at the Goblin King who doesn't look a single bit like David Bowie, feeling immeasurable disappointment, and then immediately getting fucking punched because he was thinking about that instead of avoiding getting punched.]
Motherfucker--
[Okay, you know what? Is there any fucking treasure in here that's actually treasure? Or just TRASH.]
[GOODNIGHT SWEET MOLLY Sakyou has no such distractions going on so uh unfortunately he immediately unsheathes his sword to try slashing at Hisokablin's arm as it zooms by with its punching intentions.
Goblins aren't demons but look. Stab? Stab??]
Why are you all carrying around so much garbage?! [Is this what's important here. I like that both of them are ignoring the portal.]
[There is no treasure. Just trash and scrunched up balls of paper by the portal.
Sakyou slices the arm off! ... Alas, it just reattaches itself after, before it tries to pick Sakyou up to toss him at Molly. Meanwhile, the other goblins start pelting them with trash.]
[Well just as new friends arrive, Molly is RUDELY just trying to dodge the flying Sakyou and leaving him to his fate (hitting the ground), because he's a little busy.]
Fuck, seriously? More goblins?
[Get it that's what Caleb and Dimitri look like. Just horrible little men. Dragging his claws across his shoulder until blood appears and then bringing that gold sword up to drag across it in one motion - it freezes into a blade with a shck! of ice sounds. I don't know. Whatever ice sounds it. IT'S SHARP NOW IS MY POINT.]
[BYE HE'S JUST FLYING fortunately Sakyou is used to being flung around on the battlefield and is also incredibly sturdy, so even hitting the ground instead of a Molly doesn't deter him for long.
He's back on his feet soon after! And if any of these nasty trash-throwing goblins is within arm's reach he's absolutely going to attempt to bonk them over the noggin with the back of his sword's hilt just to have less goblin throwing trash.]
What—?! [HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A GOBLIN IS-- But he'll blink in the direction of the portal??? Oh......... sirs.]
[Getting to his feet unsteadily? Looking around for his sweet Silber and Struesel? Thank god they're safe. Looking around next for his sweet Dimitri? Thank god.
He glances at Molly and Sakyou, frowning - they just ran into a fake Yamato, after all - but also glances at the goblins. Bad?]
What are you two doing down here?
[He's also going for his cocoon in his pocket in case they have to fight but like. It's just goblins, so he probably doesn't need to waste the spell slot?]
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[Molly leans on the edge of the well to start NEGOTIATIONS.]
I'm going to hazard a guess if it's life or death down there, then you'll be interested in a reasonable wage for a risky job, correct?
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If it's a life or death matter, then I would feel poorly to charge for it. At the very least, it won't hurt to take a look... [MUTTERING. And then holding up the rope.]
Will you hold it, or shall I tie it to the well so we can both go down?
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[But that's a good question, Sakyou.]
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Work for free has value and all, but apply it when it matters, love. Some people have more than they need, some people need everything they have, and we, personally, are a million and a half gold in debt. Some common sense should apply.
So our fee is a discounted 999,999 gold. And go ahead and tie it to the well, suppose I'm going down there.
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Anyway he's talking to a lad who has never cared about money a day in his life for various and completely opposing reasons. He glances over to this troubled lady and her stinky well before looking back to Molly.]
...Less than that, at least.
[He'll tie said rope to the well after being given the go-ahead though, and immediately swing his legs over the well's edge so he can get ready to rappel down as soon as their funky little deal is closed.]
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You might be more than a million and a half G in debt now, but you don't know that yet. Anyway. This woman is absolutely not paying that much.
Once they're down there, they'll hit a patch of stone they can walk on! In true RPG fashion, there is, like, a whole area in this well. Imagine if I just dumped you in water, though.
But there's random trash around here. Where did it come from? Who the fuck is littering in their source of drinkable water. With that said, if they look around, they might see a crack in the well wall that seems just large enough for a person to squeeze through, maybe.]
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[Fortunately for me Iāve watched Critical Role and know that sometimes demons and devils are just randomly in your local well. Molly doesnāt know! He died before that arc. But heās still hovering over his sword at his belt before he decides he isnāt going to take it out yet.]
Am I going into the creepy hole first? I guess Iām going in first.
[Heās complaining but without waiting for an answer, sure. Heāll squeeze into the hole. Haha. Holes.]
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He's making a little bit of a frustrated noise as Molly just NYOOMS.]
Don't just run off on your own—!
[Says he who was entirely ready to just go rope-nyooming away at a moment's notice... But!! He will. Follow Molly through the hole... after giving this area a cursory glance-over, just to make sure there aren't any gatling guns. Or shiny garbage that might be money in disguise that they can use to chip away at their towering debt.]
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I rolled a 1 for Molly so he gets stuck in the hole before Sakyou can even try to follow after him. Maybe if Sakyou pushes him through really hard, Molly can pop out on the other side...?
In the meantime, as Sakyou briefly ignores Molly's plight and looks around, he can find... uno G.]
DEBT: -1 G
TOTAL DEBT: 1,---,---
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A little help here?
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Brace yourself, then.
[Because the good news about Molly being the one who's stuck is that Sakyou can utilize his freakish arm strength that does not at all match his beanpole arms to try shoving him through.]
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Anyway, Sakyou can push Molly through, although Molly's probably getting some scrapes and cuts in the process. When he pops out free and stumbles at the other end, though, he'll see a cackling goblin running off.
Hey, wait, is that Molly's sad friend letter and purikura in its hands?
Anyhow, dainty Sakyou can pass through the hole if he wants. Actually, I'm kidding. I rolled for him too and he got a 5 so Molly might have to pull him through.]
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What the-- Oi! Fuck you! Fine then, keep it! Fuck!
[He doesn't mean this it's just. What can you do. Just dead-eyeing Sakyou getting stuck in the hole.]
... Seriously?
[I guess just. Grabbing and tugging him? Unfortunately, his strength score isn't that high.]
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It's— If it doesn't work, then go get your things back and I'll catch up.
[He didn't see what the hell that goblin stole okay ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT MOLLY'S MISSING SHIT AND THERE'S A CACKLING GOBLIN RUNNING OFF WITH IT. He's also clearly not a jrpg because he doesn't know what a foolass move splitting the party is.]
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Anyway, that aside, the running goblin left a trail of trash in its wake. Hm, wonder what the source of the well trash might be.]
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But then he shoves him off and gets up, though at least he holds a hand out after to help him to his feet.]
Don't split the team. Never works out well.
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HE GIVES MOLLY'S HAND AN EQUALLY SCATHING LOOK but takes the offered help anyway, gently brushing himself off once he's back on his feet and looking out after this trail o' garbage.]
...Well, then. We can both go and fetch your belongings together? It won't be much of a difficult task to follow that...
[Time to nyoom after this nasty goblin WHERE IS IT KEEPING ALL OF THIS TRASH.]
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For standing before them is the Goblin King, a giant red-haired goblin in a clown outfit and a star mark and tear mark on his face. For the record, this was not in my notes until Aki willed it.
Anyway, I don't remember anything about Bungee Gum so Hisokablin is just Luffy now as his arm stretches forward like rubber to try and punch Molly and Sakyou.
The other, lesser goblins cackle. Also, behind Hisokablin is what looks to be a blue portal. Hm.]
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Motherfucker--
[Okay, you know what? Is there any fucking treasure in here that's actually treasure? Or just TRASH.]
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Goblins aren't demons but look. Stab? Stab??]
Why are you all carrying around so much garbage?! [Is this what's important here. I like that both of them are ignoring the portal.]
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Sakyou slices the arm off! ... Alas, it just reattaches itself after, before it tries to pick Sakyou up to toss him at Molly. Meanwhile, the other goblins start pelting them with trash.]
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Cats, on the other hand, always land on their feet (?), so their two robo cats gracefully come through.]
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Fuck, seriously? More goblins?
[Get it that's what Caleb and Dimitri look like. Just horrible little men. Dragging his claws across his shoulder until blood appears and then bringing that gold sword up to drag across it in one motion - it freezes into a blade with a shck! of ice sounds. I don't know. Whatever ice sounds it. IT'S SHARP NOW IS MY POINT.]
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He's back on his feet soon after! And if any of these nasty trash-throwing goblins is within arm's reach he's absolutely going to attempt to bonk them over the noggin with the back of his sword's hilt just to have less goblin throwing trash.]
What—?! [HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A GOBLIN IS-- But he'll blink in the direction of the portal??? Oh......... sirs.]
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He glances at Molly and Sakyou, frowning - they just ran into a fake Yamato, after all - but also glances at the goblins. Bad?]
What are you two doing down here?
[He's also going for his cocoon in his pocket in case they have to fight but like. It's just goblins, so he probably doesn't need to waste the spell slot?]
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