dormheads | WEEK 5 CYOA: ICHIRO, ICHINOSE, MABEL, MANDRICARDO

[ he just kind of glances at mabel for a second, exchanging a look with her, and then back at the police officer. he does in fact have the gun in his breast pocket.

hmmm.

ichiro hates lying arguably more than anything in the known universe, except bullies and samatoki, but he also doesn't want mabel to get in trouble or punished somehow, considering his time on his last little "field trip". if anything happens, he'll just take the blame, since... apparently... the laws of physics don't apply here.... ]

We just heard the noise and came over. [ which is very true we'll go with that.

hey disembodied voice what the fuck. ]

[ Tanaka stays silent and does not help.

The police officer looks them over, and then looks at the bell. The person underneath does not move at all. When he speaks again, it's with a huff of annoyance. ]

In my thirty years on the job, I have never seen anything like this. And I believe I know the culprit... [ He points at them. ] The dog.

What?! [ Mabel huddles closer to the aforementioned dog protectively. ] Our little Miku would never! We've been with them all day and we've just been playing fetch and walking through the park!

[ what the fuck ]

Dude, what? We were on the other side of the park.

[ i'm from hypmic and THIS is weird ]

[ The police officer shakes his head. ]

I'm going to need for you to hand the dog over, or else you'll be getting in the way of an arrest.

[ Miku makes a whining sound. The officer ignores that. ]

Just comply with the law.

What?! No, never! [ fully picking Miku up and shielding her in her arms now ] You'll have to pry Miku from my cold, dead hands if you want her!

[ please do not say that

ichiro puts himself in front of mabel and miku too, like a shield. yet again. ] Your law's shit, man. You got any solid reasoning for your theory at all? Cause otherwise, it's not happening.

Because that thing's cursed.

[ He spits. They can only tell that he did because they can see it hit the ground next to them.

Miku growls at him, but he continues. ]

Can't you tell? So just hand it over.

[ she gasps in horror at the way the cop spits at the thought of Miku, and shoves Ichiro aside to jab a finger at the cop because nobody has ever taught Mabel to respect the police. ]

How dare you! She's a million times the man you wish you could be! And a million times more beautiful!

[ honestly no one's ever taught ichiro to respect the police either? acab baby. he kicks the dirt where the spit mark was since he can't see the cop, bristling up immediately. fuck you his dog is great? muttsune miku is perfect? ]

I'm sure as shit not taking orders from an invisible cop who's trying to arrest a dog based on nothing. Give me some real evidence, if you have the braincells to rub together to even try.

You're resisting arrest.

[ The cop reaches over to... pull out another gun. Gun.... 2. They can see it being aimed between the two o them, before settling over at Miku.

The static noise returns briefly. ]

You have until the count of three.

[ well that's great, because Mabel doesn't need to the count of three to launch her leg up with as much force as she can manage and absolutely smash her foot into the cop's groin.

Then she turns to immediately start running away. ]

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE, YOU BIG JERK!

Mabel!

[ JESUS

well hopefully it was a good kick? he's going too fuck it, and moving in a zigzag in case he gets shot at? he will pick both mabel and miku up under his arms like sacks of potatoes if they need to move faster. he has very long legs.

also, yelling at tanaka-san. ] Hey! This jackass thinks you sold us a cursed dog!

[ I hate this. The cop groans, falling over onto his knees as he deals iwth that problem.

Meanwhile, are they running towards the woods or away from it?

Tanaka responds. ]

All purchases at our store has our satisfaction guarantee!

[ holy shit i can't believe that worked

anyway, i'm gonna say Mabel's making a break for the woods! Can't shoot someone if they're surrounded by trees, head tapping meme ]

[ fuck you cop that i decided is jyuto! acab, baby!

anyway yeah ichiro's just following after mabel and yelling at the sky, zigzagging the entire way. ] What the fuck does that mean!

Do I seem like the kind of person who would give you a cursed dog?

[ The woods, at least, have a clear path through them that seem to be well traveled upon. There's some trash littered here and there, from park goers who don't care about nature. They can hear some rustling in the foliage here and there.

Behind them, they can hear the cop curse. He's definitely going after them. ]

I don't know, maybe! You've been kind of a jerk so far!

[ Mabel pauses when she hears the cop in the distance, following them. She panics and turns to Ichiro. ]

Quick, we gotta hide!!

[ she runs off the path into the denser trees, hoping to find one deep enough in and with a thick enough trunk that she can hide behind it. ]

[ oh mabel is WAY nicer because he just yells ]

Yes! Answer the question!

[ you really do, tanaka!! you really do!!!!

fuck, okay. hearing the cop swearing, ichiro nods and follows mabel, jumping over random trash and avoiding any too rustly foilage for now. spotting a couple of trees that are near enough to her he can get a visual if they separate. ] Can you keep the dog or do you want me to? Get up, if you can, keep Miku quiet, I'll stay down here -

[ time to go hide in some trees? ]

[ There's silence.

And then the cop appears, walking down the path. It doesn't seem like he's noticed them yet. He continues walking, poking at bushes and looking up at branches in case they climbed.

Tanaka speaks. ]

I don't consider Miku cursed. She's a gift. Oh, watch out.

[ And that's about all the warning they get before a large wolf comes running out of some of the rustling foliage, to leap onto Ichiro and tackle him to the ground. It goes to sink its teeth into his upper right arm.

Miku barks loudly in fear, catching the attention of the cop. ]

[ well, if Miku's barking didn't give them away, Mabel would've. ]

ICHIRO, NO!!! Let him go!!

[ Mabel runs towards him and, in her free hand, she picks up a rock that she pitches at the wolf. ]

[ haha!!!! wow, they were doing a great job hiding.

ichiro shouts, the noise a strangled curse as he's thrown to the ground by however many pounds of a wolf, and the pain from the bite lights up every pain receptor he's got - he feels the dig into muscle, the tear of flesh, and hits the ground hard.

ichiro's not just gonna give up and let himself get fucking EATEN though so he manages to lift his other arm and starts absolutely whaling on the wolf with his fist the best that he can, kicking and struggling to get this fucking thing off of him. no more yelling at the voice overlord he has a fucking wolf to contend with now. ]

[ That sure did catch the cop's attention. He heads straight for the commotion, and just stares at the funky wolf situation, before going to just try to scoop Miku out of Mabel's grasp as she tries to save Ichiro.

Meanwhile, the wolf lessens its grip on his arm slightly, especially after it gets hit on the head by a rock. It growls, and tries to scratch Ichiro with its claws to get him to stop struggling.

Tanaka keeps talking. ]

Wow. How unfurtunate.

[ Mabel has to give up on fighting the wolf because now she has to deal with the cop again. She grips onto Miku and pushes her back towards her chest with all her might, and will try to kick the cop in the balls again and also headbutt him if she must. ]

You're not getting her! Miku did nothing wrong!

[ christ well - he manages to narrowly avoid a claw to the face, but it rakes down his chest, which is not great. he can barely hear the pet store clerk's talking over top of being attacked, and reaches with a desperate hand for mabel's rock, squirming desperately and putting up a hell of a fight even as he's being brutalized by a wolf. ]

Fuck you! [ was that for tanaka-san or the wolf? yes. his hand wraps around the rock, and he brings it up to smash it harder into the stupid wolf's head, aiming for its eye with all of his might, and trying to push back and away from the jaws, trying to get free as aggressively as possible, kicking his legs up into its sides, too. ]

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